“How do I tell if a match is worth messaging?” is a question I hear often because when you’re on a site or an app, you date the matches you pick. If you swipe left or skip over someone, you won’t meet them, so how can you judge who’s a good match for you based on merely a few sentences and photos?
If you’re looking for a relationship, attraction and compatibility should take equal priority when you’re viewing matches. But it’s so easy for attraction to take over. I can’t tell you how many times I heard a client say they chose a match “because he’s attractive.” While cute is always a plus, it’s more likely a date will be awesome if he or she also piques your interest with their words.
Every profile doesn’t have to be a novel, but there’s a fine line between keeping things simple and being flat-out lazy. Here are some ways to tell the difference.
They are lazy if they only uploaded one profile photo. Come on, everyone has a smartphone in their pocket these days. Taking profile photos isn’t hard.
They’re also lazy if their whole profile is generic. If you still don’t know anything specific about your match after giving their bio a read, move on to the next. They didn’t put any effort into showing you who they are so all you’re going off of is photos, which won’t guarantee a good date.
Size really doesn't matter. Despite taking a simple approach to their profile, if your match is being distinct and specific with their interests, they have put in the effort that matters. They're still showing you who they are even though there aren’t many words on the page. So if you think they’re cool, go ahead and say hey. Hopefully, it will be your next great date.
Laurie Davis Edwards is the founder of eFlirt, an online dating concierge service, and the best-selling author of "Love @ First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating."