Let’s spend our time together this morning checking in on America’s version of a royal birth, shall we?
I speak, of course, about Blue Ivy Carter, who, according to a press release from her two very famous parents, had a very “emotional and extremely peaceful” birth. And, per the release, came into the world “naturally.”
You hear that? Not only was the birth peaceful, it was “extremely” so, meaning that Beyonce does not vomit or poop herself while bringing life into this world. I doubt she even grimaced or cursed, she is that perfect.
Another perfect (and ridiculous) thing? This baby’s bling lifestyle. Beyonce and Jay-Z reportedly spent $1.5 million on designer toys and nursery furnishings. “Jay-Z bought Beyonce a solid gold handmade Ginza Tanaka rocking horse for $600,000. They’ve even splashed out on a $30,000 magical windmill playhouse for the garden and a mini Bugatti car, too,” a source tells Britain’s Star magazine. “They’ve bought a wardrobe packed with thousands of dollars’ worth of one-off designer baby clothes.” Other items reportedly include a Swarovski crystal-encrusted high-chair, a chic lucite crib and gold and diamond rattles from Tiffany & Co.
Since the source of this story is Star magazine, let’s take this with a grain of salt. A high chair covered in crystals? That has to cause some major diaper rash.
Lohan moves on to Lifetime
If there is a place for Lindsay Lohan (besides rehab), it’s the Lifetime network — she is the embodiment of an after-school special. Luckily, it looks like the disgraced starlet has figured that out. After false starts with shots at playing Linda Lovelace and Victoria Gotti, Lohan is trying the biopic route once again to get her career restarted by signing on to play Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime Original Movie “Elizabeth & Richard: A Love Story,” according to Deadline. The film will focus on Taylor’s relationship with Richard Burton.