Sure, workplace stress is a problem, but is a sidewalk masturbation booth the solution?

Last week we learned that some of our coworkers aren’t waiting until after leaving the office to get some (literal) relief. In response, British sex toy brand Hot Octopuss converted a phone booth at Fifth Avenue and 28th Street into a masturbation hub called GuyFi.

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You’ve gotta have some balls for this one: Only a curtain separates you from the street as you browse a laptop for inspiration. (Doesn’t that seem redundant if you’re the kind of person to masturbate in public in the first place?)

The company says it wanted to take masturbation “out of the office and into a more suitable environment.” We’re fuzzy on the math of how exactly a curtained phone booth better serves the needs of this city’s men — especially during winter.

Alas, New York’s public lewdness statute is pretty clear on this one:

“A person is guilty of public lewdness when he intentionally exposes the private or intimate parts of his body in a lewd manner or commits any other lewd act (a) in a public place, or (b) in private premises under circumstances in which he may readily be observed from either a public place or from other private premises, and with intent that he be so observed.”

Besides being an effective promotional stunt, Hot Octopuss’ claims that taking a personal 15 minutes will boost productivity and improve mood are real. It can and even charge your phone. That said, let’s leave further repurposing of phone booths to the good people bringing free Wi-Fi to the city, shall we?