Home
 
Choose Your City
Change City

A guilt-free way to end things after just one date

We’ve all been there: You reach the bottom of your drink and you know that the last thing you want to do is go on a second date with this person.

We’ve all been there: You reach the bottom of your drink and you know that the last thing you want to do is go on a second date with this person. How do you end things before they’ve even really begun?

If you can pull it off, all you need to say is a simple: “It was nice meeting you.” If you can exit a first date with those final words, you’re not obligated to do any follow-up work. You’ll need to resist your instinct to make promises you won’t keep. If you can’t bear to be so blunt, add an “I’ll e-mail you” to wrap things up. Of course, that means you’re required to follow through. Take solace in the fact that it is infinitely easier to let someone down gently over e-mail. If, in a moment of weakness, you accidentally blurt out “I’ll call you,” then you’ve got to call. Think of it as good dating karma.

When you make that call or send that e-mail, you don’t necessarily have to tell the whole truth (because sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes people can’t handle the truth).

Be specific about the qualities you admire in this person (an exquisite taste in domestic beer, for example), and be very general about those that make a relationship impossible (avoid mentioning that you could never be seen in public with someone who wears Docksiders). Blame it on the pheromones, an unfortunate “lack of chemistry.” It’s the generic truth — and being dumped is never as painful or regrettable when you chalk it up to evolutionary psychology.


Breaking up is easy to do

Say, “Great hanging out with you, but I just didn’t feel like we clicked. Good luck with [whatever project you discussed]. All the best.”

You don’t have to explain yourself any further than this, and you don’t have to stay in touch. If they’re the sensitive type, they’ll appreciate the closure and the gesture (even if they can see right through your cheap lies). In addition, this will save you from the trauma of trying to hide from them for the rest of your life.

Em & Lo’s latest book is “SEX: How to Do Everything.” Visit EMandLO.com for your daily dose of sex, love and everything in between.


 
Consider AlsoFurther Articles