Carol Berner broke her silence for the first time Monday when she took the stand to apologize for running over and killing a Delta girl, then began hyperventilating, was given first aid and escorted from the building.
The mother of three had sat quietly through six victim impact statements during her sentencing hearing in Surrey Provincial Court as Alexa Middelaer’s family told how their lives have changed since Berner hit and killed the four year old in 2008.
She had been drinking, and was driving 40 kilometres over the speed limit when she hit two speed bumps, lost control and careened into Alexa and her aunt as they were feeding a horse on the side of the road.
Alexa’s aunt was severely injured and left permanently disabled.
Berner claimed during the trial that she had suffered an anxiety attack when she lost control, but was convicted in July of drunk driving causing death and bodily harm.
Until Monday, she had remained silent as she came and went from court, prompting criticism from the community that she showed no remorse.
But Berner’s niece testified that the public and media had vilified her aunt to such an extent that she was afraid for her safety and too ashamed to be seen in public places, and had even tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bottle of pills.
“She fell apart at the scenes,” Kendra Voth said. “She could not deal with the anguish of knowing what she’d done. She wanted to reach out to the Middelaer family but didn’t know how. She does take responsibility. She’s just been made into this monster.
Berner’s lawyer told Justice Peder Gulbransen his client – who raised three sons alone, was abused by her ex-boyfriend and now lives on social services – has been the “victim of outrageous vilification” while being “mocked and ridiculed on the evening news.”
He’s asking for a suspended sentence, a fine for the drunk driving charge and probation.
“She lost many friends and the community has shunned her,” David Tarnow said. “She has paid a very dear price for what occurred. She has been punished already.”
The Crown, however, is pushing for a jail term of three to five years plus a five- to seven-year driving ban to be imposed after incarceration.
“(The sentence) needs to reflect society’s condemnation of the offender’s conduct (and) send a message that this was not an accident or error in judgment, but a crime,” said Crown counsel Kimberly Wendel.
She noted there has been a gradual trend toward harsher sentences in drunk driving cases, and that should be reflected in Berner’s case.
Alexa’s mother Laurel Middelaer, who has been campaigning for mandatory minimum sentences in drunk driving cases, said despite outward appearances of stoicism, she is a “train wreck.”
“The loss of a child is immobilizing,” she said during her victim impact statement.
“I am haunted by emerging on that scene … I dream of (Alexa) lying lifeless under the tree. It’s unfathomable but sadly it’s my daily reality.
Laurel said after the accident, her 10-year-old son Christian wouldn’t ride his bike down the street for fear Berner would hit him, too.
“(He) has also lost his parents as he knew them,” she said. “We are mere shells. Christian deserves whole parents.”
Laurel read her son’s victim impact statement to the court.
?“I worry that our family has changed too much. We are not happy anymore,” he wrote. “Why is my sister gone? Why (has she) made the choice to ruin a perfectly good family?”
Laurel’s mother, Lyla Stephens, said she’s haunted by the image of her daughter holding Alexa’s body – wrapped in a warm blanket – after her organs had been harvested in hospital.
“To see my baby holding her dead baby was the saddest scene that I will have in my heart always,” she said.
Michael Middelaer, Alexa’s father, talked candidly about his “bright, sunny soul” with her “strong sense of right and wrong and a deep sense of family.”
He described arriving at the scene of the accident to see Alexa’s basket and horse treats scattered around the road and her pink Crocs – with their straps broken – lying under Berner’s car.
“You simply don’t just heal from these things,” he said. “You adapt and you move forward.”
Michael said he and his wife want to have another baby but will likely have to turn to fertility treatments because of their age.
On top of that, he’s had to accept a job in Dubai to make ends meet, and will be living apart from his family.
“I wake up every morning needing to be stitched together, clinging to the desperate hope that I’ll stay whole in the minutes and hours that tick by,” Michael said.
“There is a need and opportunity to make tomorrow safe for everybody and as adults it’s our duty and responsibility (to do that).”
“Alexa, you set an amazing example for our family to follow, to be tenacious and true, and to doggedly protect what is (important) in life.”
Berner is set to be sentenced on Friday.
