The "Top 10 things I've always wanted to say to Dave:"

10. Alec Baldwin: "Of all the talk shows yours is the one most geographically convenient to my home."

9. Barbara Walters: “Dave, did you know you wear the same cologne as Moammar Gadhafi."

8. Steve Martin: "Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity and a mistake."

7. Jerry Seinfeld: "Dave, I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air ... you know I just thought of something. I'll be fine."

6. Jim Carrey: "Honestly, Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over-actor.”

5. Chris Rock: "I'm just glad your show is being given to another white guy."

4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale."

3. Peyton Manning: "Dave, you are to comedy what I am to comedy."

2. Tina Fey: "Thanks for finally proving men can be funny."

1. Bill Murray: "Dave, I'll never have the money I owe you."