Every year, Feb. 14 is a day for single people to be bitter and miserable, couples to disappoint one another (carnations!) and Ashton Kutcher to star in yet another awful romantic comedy.
But I have a secret. As predictable as it is, I love Valentine’s Day. I know, I know, it’s not cool to like Valentine’s Day. You want me to be cynical and write a spiteful speech about a Hallmark holiday that reeks of cheap wine and desperate consumerism. But you know what? I won’t.
My enduring affection towards Valentine’s Day is my secret shame. It is the romantic cliché I hate to love.
Most people think of this heart-shaped date as a manufactured milestone between Christmas and Easter, a three-way conspiracy between greeting card companies, florists and Tiffany & Co.
Maybe they’re right. But like Ralph Wiggum before me, I choo choo choose to embrace this saccharin sweet tradition and its cinnamon heart stench.
There are countless reasons to hate Valentine’s Day, especially if you’re single and don’t like to be reminded of it. Smug couples sitting on the same side of the booth enjoying candlelit dinners across the city is enough to make anyone gag. But it isn’t all prix fixe menus and overpriced floral arrangements.
The 14th of February can be a date to love, even if you’re dateless. It’s a rosy pink bright spot in the middle of a very gloomy and frigid, albeit short, month. V-Day gives you an excuse to watch bad movies, listen to cheesy love ballads and wear pink and red together without judgment.
And so what if the only kisses you get are from Hershey’s?
Unlike Christmas and Easter, Feb. 14 is a day devoted to overindulgent behaviour without the religious undertones to make you feel guilty about spending too much money and eating tons of candy.
Seriously people, how could you hate a tradition that inspired conversation hearts? UR A HUNK … NO THANKS … FAX ME! Those funny and flirtatious edibles have been making us swoon since 1902 (yeah, I looked it up).
So I say, lighten up your bad attitude toward this misunderstood day and embrace it for what it is — an opportunity for over-the-top displays of affection directed towards the ones you love.
And while you may not have a significant other, you probably have a number of pretty significant someones who would just love to hear UR GR8.