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Living a lifestyle that’s ‘enough’ – Metro US

Living a lifestyle that’s ‘enough’

carlyn yandle/for metro vancouver

Top, this room was re-worked into the dining room shown below, thus creating a space that invites more fulfilling activities and experiences that money can’t buy.

A couple of weeks ago, someone handed me a well-thumbed copy of Your Money Or Your Life (by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin), after she found out we had both jumped off our career/commute track and into the thrilling/scary world of art school and self-employment.

Since then, I’ve been absorbed by this little book that debunks the generally-held belief that we can buy fulfillment.

It examines the personal daily sacrifices we make to keep consuming more: Long commutes, maxed-out credit cards, disconnection from family and friends, stress-related illness.

The authors challenge us to reject the idea that we’re consumers first, and consider a radical notion: “Enough.” Maybe living in 750 square feet is enough. Maybe cable-free TV is enough. Maybe taking public transit or a camping holiday is enough.

You know you’ve missed out on the “enough” stage when you’re consuming beyond survival and comfort. The more luxuries we buy, the less fulfillment those purchases give us.

When we can’t see that we have enough and can’t break the buying habit, we’ve developed a dependency, just like binge-eating or drinking. AA members will tell you that you have to hit rock bottom before you make real change.

It could be something as serious as a break-up, or it could be a lurking anxiety over the lack of physical space or mounting debt to see that our stuff, and our auto-pilot drive for more stuff, is starting to make things worse, not better.

The non-essentials — the to-do lists, the broken things that haunt us, the knick-knack gifts we feel we should keep, the too many obligations — start to clutter up the corners, then intrude into our consciousness.

I like being around people when they’ve decided they have had enough. I love to hear them declare how calm and clear they feel as they detach themselves from useless things and move on from their old need to achieve another level of wealth. Enough really is enough.

When the clutter’s cleared off the table and our schedules, suddenly there’s room for having dinners with loved ones.

Nobody cares if it’s just spaghetti and salad; the experience is enough to bring on real fulfillment.

I like the “death bed” scenario: On your deathbed, will you regret you never owned a Porsche or had a Whistler condo?

Or will you regret you didn’t spend more time with your nephew, or connect more with the world around you?

carlyn.yandle@metronews.ca