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Revving your love

Bedroom boredom breaks up a lot of couples, but regaining that loving feeling can revitalize your entire relationship.

Bedroom boredom breaks up a lot of couples, but regaining that loving feeling can revitalize your entire relationship.

The touring trade show Everything To Do With Sex, which recently finished a London, Ont., Toronto, Halifax and Montreal circuit, is teeming with ideas on how to respark a cold fire.

Rachel Dodds, owner of Sexy Girl Inc., often gets couples coming to her for advice on rediscovering the lost magic of intimacy.

“This secret is to do something different enough that requires communication, a new level of trust and discomfort,” Dodds says. Her home-party business has plenty of tricks and tools for doing that.

Speaking amid the din of dungeon whips and strip teases at the Halifax show, Dodds says at the start of a relationship, everything has the scintillating edge of newness. You don’t know your partner intimately, you don’t know what they’re going to do, and they don’t know what you’re going to do.

“Make it uncomfortable again: It forces you to develop trust levels and talk about things, and really get to know each other to take it to the next level.”

Dodds, who was once fired from a newspaper column for a suggestion involving a lonely man and a cantaloupe, says you will find emotions and desire you never knew you had. “You’ll be like, wow, I didn’t even know I wanted to do that!”

Start with a blindfold. Denied sight, your focus turns to your other senses.

“It really helps clear your mind and focus on the sensations you’re feeling,” Dodds says. It re-introduces the mystery of the unknown, as you can’t see what’s about to happen. It also distracts you from any body insecurities you have.

In light bondage, furry handcuffs take away the use of your hands, making you vulnerable.

Try out a few new positions, and you’ll be like teenagers again.

The sea of heads at the sex show is largely grey, and Dodds says that’s great for older and younger couples.

“We find that women 49 and up are very interested in this. They have a lot more experience than all of us here running the booths,” she explains.

 
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