Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds might be going strong in their relationship— having been spotted enjoying a cozy meal together in Boston this past weekend — but it wasn’t too long ago that they had their first date. Even a celebrity has to consider that all pervasive question: Should I sleep with him on the first date? Like anyone at the beginning of a relationship, you have to ask yourself what you want out of the relationship. Will he/she still call in the morning, whatever you decide?
To begin with, you must have a few things in order so you can feel good about yourself the morning after — no matter what happens. Be very clear about your expectations. If you want to have a sexual romp because you’re in the mood, haven’t had sex in quite a while, find your guy attractive and want to exercise your sexual freedom, then — as long as you are aware that this one night may be all you share together — you can decide to go ahead with an open mind and clear conscience.
It’s important for you to think about this before the date so you can take responsibility and practice safe sex. This way you won’t wind up feeling pressured or caught off guard, which can lead to taking risks.
But if this is a guy you’d really like to get to know better and would like to see again, it may be best to hold off on getting sexually involved — many times first-date sex for guys means something entirely different from what it means to women. The guys can have sex and consider it a “great date,” but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to get to know you better. In fact, for some guys the sexual encounter may be enough for them — and then they are ready to move on and meet someone new.
So, unless you are completely comfortable with the fact that you may never hear from the guy again, and that’s fine with you, you are probably better off waiting — at least for date No. 2!
— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.
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