The iPad 3 cannot make your children love you. It cannot pay off your student loan debt, or convince your boss to give you overtime. It will not convince you of your inherent worth in an uncaring world, or assure you that you will not die alone and forgotten.
It will, though, play hi-def video, so that's pretty cool.
Apple Inc took the wraps off a faster 4G-equipped iPad on Wednesday, hoping the latest version of its tablet can safeguard its dominance as rivals from Amazon to Samsung pile into the market.
CEO Tim Cook, presiding over his biggest product launch since 2011's voice-enabled iPhone 4S, introduced the highly anticipated third iteration of the tablet, which commands upwards of two-thirds of the growing market.
The newest iPad will be capable of operating on a high-speed 4G "LTE" or Long-Term Evolution network. At speeds roughly 10 times faster than current 3G technology, that may help banish the sometimes shaky video quality of older devices.
Apple is betting a 4G-equipped iPad will tempt more U.S. consumers to pay extra for higher-quality video on the go. That, in turn, should give Verizon Wireless and AT&T Inc a revenue boost, analysts say.
Until now, buyers have been reluctant to shell out extra cash even for iPads with slower 3G connections. The cheaper Wi-Fi-only model - with much more limited Web access - is by far Apple's top-selling one today.
The company is counting on a warm reception to its latest tablet to fend off an increasingly aggressive challenge from Google Inc Android-powered tablets, with Microsoft Corp software-driven devices slated to come soon.
The new iPad will retail in the neighborhood of $500.