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The Week That Was

Meet our new Twitter rep named GLORXX that is an emissary from an all-powerful alien race.


“China affirms desire for strong U.S. ties”

UPI.COM, OCT. 15
Might we recommend something in a Half-Windsor?



“Special Report: The problem with phthalates”
NEWS.YAHOO.COM, OCT. 18

Well, to start, they’re clearly packing far too many
consecutive consonants.


“Rep: Celine Dion hospitalized as precaution”

ASSOCIATED PRESS, OCT. 18
Look, we appreciate the concern, but don’t you
think it’s a bit late for precautions?


“What a $2 million bra looks like”
LIFE.COM, OCT. 20

It looks like you spent way too much on a %#&@$? bra.


“No offence meant by ‘zombie walk’ — organizers”

STUFF.CO.NZ, OCT. 15
None taken, but you should probably send a fruit basket
over to the zombies.



“Red Brussels sprouts to be sold at supermarkets”

TELEGRAPH.CO.UK, OCT. 15
Truly, nothing is sacred to this pinko commie
administration.



“Experts: Calvin Klein ad could encourage gang rape”
MYFOXDC.COM, OCT. 19

That, overpriced jeans and vapid black-and-white stares.




“What to do if we find extraterrestrial life”
MSNBC.MSN.COM, OCT. 18
Trust me, mortals: You run.



“The empathy deficit”

BOSTON.COM, OCT. 17
Who cares?



“U.N. environment chief: We’re destroy-ing life on Earth”
MSNBC.MSN.COM, OCT 18
Tryin’ to put GLORXX out of a job? I’ve got kids to feed people!


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