Sometimes all it takes to add the heat back into a relationship is a night in, watching the latest releases on Rogers On Demand. Sometimes it takes a different kind of viewing pleasure.
In residence, during my first year of university, I had a friend who would spend every Sunday evening in his room with his girlfriend, his DVD player and his extensive adult film collection. It may have kept anyone from borrowing his DVD player, but it did, he admitted to me later, help keep his relationship alive and well for several years to come.
Chanelle Gallant, manager of Good For Her sex store and former sex columnist for Chatelaine magazine, also believes adult films can help bring couples closer together.
“They can really open your eyes to sexual activities you might not have considered,” she says. “You see other people really enjoying sex and wanting it. You see things that you’d like to do and you see someone on screen loving it, asking for it, and getting it. That can be inspiring.”
Historically, the adult film industry was skewed male, but in recent years it seems to have stimulated more female viewers.
“Part of that is because there are more films being made for women,” says Gallant, adding that as women continue to gain economic power, they are also better able to exercise their sexual freedom, which includes consuming adult films.
But no matter how popular these films have become, introducing them into a relationship takes a large degree of trust and comfort. Gallant recommends going to pick out a film together. Plus standing between the aisles of naughty DVDs, shooting each other seductive glances can all be part of the foreplay.
Gallant says you’re best to start off with something that will put both partners at ease. For women, Gallant suggests looking for a female director, who is likely to be more sensitive to how women feel about their bodies and their desires. Her two best picks are anything by Candida Royalle or any of the Comstock films.
For the newbie adult film viewer, Gallant says it’s OK to feel a little uncomfortable. “It’s not the end of the world and it will pass,” she says.
In fact, it could become your new Sunday night tradition.