Unlikely Music Friendships Captured on Film: Installment No. 5

fba8eb8ac1a23f45eb9bb95ff51ad973

There is almost too much Unlikely Musical Friendship™ going on in this awkwardly posed photo from the 1989 New York Music Awards. Perhaps this UMF overload is why not everybody there looks happy. DMC of Run DMC, who is squatting in front, seems to be the only one who is truly pleased to be with this group. His posture suggests that he truly wants the photo to happen, and will even inconvenience himself to pull it off. Samantha Fox, who had a hit two years earlier with “Touch Me (I Want Your Body)” seems happy to accommodate DMC’s wishes, but there is something of a strain in her smile that suggests she is disappointed by the lack of interest from LL Cool J and Joey and Dee Dee Ramone.

Before we go into how I imagine the exchange to have gone, let’s get a little bit of context going. Run DMC’s game-changing collaboration with Aerosmith — which was at the time one of the biggest UMFs to have ever taken place, let alone have been recorded — was two years in the rearview. LL’s “Walking With a Panther” was about to drop two months after this photo was taken. It featured the hits “I’m That Type of Guy,” “Big Ole Butt,” “Jingling Baby” and “Going Back to Cali,” which was originally released on the “Less Than Zero” soundtrack two years earlier.

Samantha Fox was still cranking out hit singles, having released a successful cover of  the Dusty Springfield gem “I Only Wanna Be With You” and “I Wanna Have Some Fun.”

As for where the Ramones were in 1989, they were about to release their eleventh studio album, “Brain Drain,” a month after the photo was taken, and bassist Dee Dee, who is pictured on the right, was just about to leave the band to pursue a rap career that was pretty much universally panned. Click here for proof!

Anyway, here is how I imagine the whole exchange to have gone.

LL Cool J: Hey, Samantha Fox! What are you doing at the New York Music Awards? Aren’t you from England?

Samantha Fox: You’re bloody well right I am!

LL Cool J [licking his lips]: Listen, why don’t you and me…

DMC: Hey! LL! Samantha! What’s going on, you guys?!

LL Cool J [quietly]: Damn, man. DMC’s always gotta come in and ruin my game.

Samantha Fox: Hi DMC, how are you?

DMC: Not bad, not bad.

Samantha Fox: Ooh, excuse me, guys, I see two of the Ramones over there! [shouting] Hey ho! Ramones!

[Joey Ramone waves from across the room. Samantha Fox beckons them.  Dee Dee Ramone gives Joey Ramone a slap on the back that says, “Dude, let’s totally go over there.”]

DMC: Hey! The Ramones! I love you guys! It’s so cool that we’re all here at the New York Music Awards! You guys are such an NYC institution. Do you guys know LL?

Joey and Dee Dee Ramone: Hey.

LL Cool J [mumbling]: Hey, nice to meet you guys.

Samantha Fox [trying to get LL to be more social]: LL, did you know that my new single, “I Wanna Have Some Fun” is inspired by the Ramones?

LL Cool J [quietly]: No, I didn’t know that.

Joey Ramone: What? How’s that? I don’t hear any Ramones in that.

Samantha Fox: Well, you guys are always titling your songs with the word “wanna” and I just thought that was so cool. “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend”…

LL Cool J [under his breath]: I wanna be your boyfriend, Samantha Fox.

Samantha Fox: There’s also “I Wanna Be Sedated,” and “I Wanna Live.”

Dee Dee Ramone: Don’t forget “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue”! I wrote that one.

LL Cool J [under his breath]: Of course you did, you dork.

Dee Dee Ramone: I also wrote one called “I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You” and “I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement.”

LL Cool J [under his breath]: I don’t wanna walk around with you or go down to the basement with you, Dee Dee Ramone.

DMC: Dee Dee, didn’t you also write “Psycho Therapy”?

Dee Dee Ramone [proudly]: I did indeed!

DMC: That song is my jam! We should do an Aero-DMC on that!

Dee Dee Ramone: An Aero-DMC?

DMC: Yeah, you know how we collaborated with Aerosmith to do “Walk This Way”? Well, we should do a rap over that one of yours.

Joey Ramone: Umm, we’d have to talk to our lawyers about that, Dee Dee.

Dee Dee Ramone: Lawyers? Nah, we don’t need to bring them into this. Listen, DMC, and actually LL, you might be interested in this…

LL Cool J [being brought back to paying attention]:
Huh?

Dee Ramone:
I was just about to tell DMC that I have a rap album that I’m releasing this year. Yeah, it’s gonna be way more successful than the Ramones.

Joey Ramone: Wait, what?

Dee Dee Ramone: Yeah, it’s gonna be so fresh.

LL Cool J: People don’t really say “fresh” anymore.

Dee Dee Ramone: Get this, LL. One of the jams is called “2 Much 2 Drink.”

LL Cool J: Please tell me you’re actually going to spell out the variations of the word too/to when you title it.

Dee Dee Ramone: No way! I’m going to use the number 2 the way Prince does.

Joey Ramone: I bet it will sound like Number Two. Get it? Like poop!

Samantha Fox: I love poop jokes, Joey!

Joey Ramone: Oh yeah?

Samantha Fox: I do indeed!

LL Cool J: What? You love poop jokes? If I had told poop jokes I could have seduced you?

Samantha Fox: Absolutely.

LL Cool J: But what about all your sexy song titles?

Samantha Fox: That’s all marketing, LL.

DMC: Hey guys, look it’s photographer Ron Gaiella from WireImage! We should totally pose for a group photo.

LL Cool J:  I’d rather not.

Samantha Fox: Come on, LL, it will be fun! And I wanna have some fun!

Joey Ramone [quietly]:
LL, I’m really sorry if I ruined your game.

LL Cool J [mumbles]: That’s OK, I guess. I may have rapped that I’m the type of guy to leave my drawers in your hamper, but I really don’t like poop jokes.

Dee Dee Ramone [sarcastically]: Woah, what a comeback!

LL Cool J: Don’t call it a comeback!

DMC: Hey, you should use that as the opening line to your next album!



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Mayor pledges lower greenhouse gas emissions from New…

Just hours before the start of the People’s Climate March on Sunday, and two days ahead of the United Nations Climate Summit, Mayor Bill de…

National

The best places to see the Northern Lights…

A large solar storm hit the Earth's atmosphere and will tonight illuminate the skies with aurora borealis -- also known as the Northern Lights.

Local

Police officer killed Sunday morning Bronx crash, 8…

One NYPD police officer was killed and eight other officers were injured early Sunday morning when the van they were traveling in crashed  in the…

National

Pennsylvania police shooter manhunt near home of suspect's…

A police manhunt intensified on Friday for the gunman who killed an officer and wounded another in an ambush at a Pennsylvania police barracks a week ago.

Television

'How to Get Away with' mischaracterizing Shondra Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes read Alessandra Stanley's New York Times piece about her being "an angry black woman" and "a romance writer" and it did not sit well with her.

Gossip

New nude celebrity selfies leak … and Clay…

A new batch of nude selfies of Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens, Lake Bell and Avril Lavigne hit the web and Clay Aiken has something to say!

Television

James Spader's route to villainy on "The Blacklist"

In honor of the second season premiere of "The Blacklist" tonight, where James Spader plays good guy/bad guy Raymond “Red” Reddington, it’s a good time to look back at Spader’s…

Television

True Detective

NFL

Jay Cutler takes Marc Trestman's coaching to heart

While Jay Cutler turned to an autobiography on the man who would be his head coach, Trestman had personal experience with the player.

NFL

Jets vs. Bears: 3 things to watch

Jets fans likely chalked up Monday's matchup with the Bears as a loss when the NFL schedule came out. But given their team's play so…

NFL

Rashad Jennings carries Giants in first win this…

Rashad Jennings, who came to New York from Oakland last year, by way of Jacksonville, was highly coveted this offseason by general manager Jerry Reese.

NFL

3 things we learned as Giants pick up…

The Giants picked up their first win of the season over the Texans.

Career

Here's how to make the most of visit…

You’re primped, you’re looking polished, you’re prepared with a stack of resumes. Job fair hunters, unite! There are a few things to keep in mind…

Education

Learn how to study effectively and stop cramming…

Picture this: It’s midterm week, and college students everywhere are trying to frantically memorize all of the math formulas, political theories and historical facts that…

Parenting

How motherhood inspired Bethenny Frankel's new book

Bethenny Frankel's new children's book is about how her daughter and dog didn't always get alone.

Parenting

A sneaky way to serve kids fruits and…

"My First Juices and Smoothies" gives smoothie recipes for kids.