Unlikely Music Friendships Captured on Film: Installment No. 5

fba8eb8ac1a23f45eb9bb95ff51ad973

There is almost too much Unlikely Musical Friendship™ going on in this awkwardly posed photo from the 1989 New York Music Awards. Perhaps this UMF overload is why not everybody there looks happy. DMC of Run DMC, who is squatting in front, seems to be the only one who is truly pleased to be with this group. His posture suggests that he truly wants the photo to happen, and will even inconvenience himself to pull it off. Samantha Fox, who had a hit two years earlier with “Touch Me (I Want Your Body)” seems happy to accommodate DMC’s wishes, but there is something of a strain in her smile that suggests she is disappointed by the lack of interest from LL Cool J and Joey and Dee Dee Ramone.

Before we go into how I imagine the exchange to have gone, let’s get a little bit of context going. Run DMC’s game-changing collaboration with Aerosmith — which was at the time one of the biggest UMFs to have ever taken place, let alone have been recorded — was two years in the rearview. LL’s “Walking With a Panther” was about to drop two months after this photo was taken. It featured the hits “I’m That Type of Guy,” “Big Ole Butt,” “Jingling Baby” and “Going Back to Cali,” which was originally released on the “Less Than Zero” soundtrack two years earlier.

Samantha Fox was still cranking out hit singles, having released a successful cover of  the Dusty Springfield gem “I Only Wanna Be With You” and “I Wanna Have Some Fun.”

As for where the Ramones were in 1989, they were about to release their eleventh studio album, “Brain Drain,” a month after the photo was taken, and bassist Dee Dee, who is pictured on the right, was just about to leave the band to pursue a rap career that was pretty much universally panned. Click here for proof!

Anyway, here is how I imagine the whole exchange to have gone.

LL Cool J: Hey, Samantha Fox! What are you doing at the New York Music Awards? Aren’t you from England?

Samantha Fox: You’re bloody well right I am!

LL Cool J [licking his lips]: Listen, why don’t you and me…

DMC: Hey! LL! Samantha! What’s going on, you guys?!

LL Cool J [quietly]: Damn, man. DMC’s always gotta come in and ruin my game.

Samantha Fox: Hi DMC, how are you?

DMC: Not bad, not bad.

Samantha Fox: Ooh, excuse me, guys, I see two of the Ramones over there! [shouting] Hey ho! Ramones!

[Joey Ramone waves from across the room. Samantha Fox beckons them.  Dee Dee Ramone gives Joey Ramone a slap on the back that says, “Dude, let’s totally go over there.”]

DMC: Hey! The Ramones! I love you guys! It’s so cool that we’re all here at the New York Music Awards! You guys are such an NYC institution. Do you guys know LL?

Joey and Dee Dee Ramone: Hey.

LL Cool J [mumbling]: Hey, nice to meet you guys.

Samantha Fox [trying to get LL to be more social]: LL, did you know that my new single, “I Wanna Have Some Fun” is inspired by the Ramones?

LL Cool J [quietly]: No, I didn’t know that.

Joey Ramone: What? How’s that? I don’t hear any Ramones in that.

Samantha Fox: Well, you guys are always titling your songs with the word “wanna” and I just thought that was so cool. “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend”…

LL Cool J [under his breath]: I wanna be your boyfriend, Samantha Fox.

Samantha Fox: There’s also “I Wanna Be Sedated,” and “I Wanna Live.”

Dee Dee Ramone: Don’t forget “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue”! I wrote that one.

LL Cool J [under his breath]: Of course you did, you dork.

Dee Dee Ramone: I also wrote one called “I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You” and “I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement.”

LL Cool J [under his breath]: I don’t wanna walk around with you or go down to the basement with you, Dee Dee Ramone.

DMC: Dee Dee, didn’t you also write “Psycho Therapy”?

Dee Dee Ramone [proudly]: I did indeed!

DMC: That song is my jam! We should do an Aero-DMC on that!

Dee Dee Ramone: An Aero-DMC?

DMC: Yeah, you know how we collaborated with Aerosmith to do “Walk This Way”? Well, we should do a rap over that one of yours.

Joey Ramone: Umm, we’d have to talk to our lawyers about that, Dee Dee.

Dee Dee Ramone: Lawyers? Nah, we don’t need to bring them into this. Listen, DMC, and actually LL, you might be interested in this…

LL Cool J [being brought back to paying attention]:
Huh?

Dee Ramone:
I was just about to tell DMC that I have a rap album that I’m releasing this year. Yeah, it’s gonna be way more successful than the Ramones.

Joey Ramone: Wait, what?

Dee Dee Ramone: Yeah, it’s gonna be so fresh.

LL Cool J: People don’t really say “fresh” anymore.

Dee Dee Ramone: Get this, LL. One of the jams is called “2 Much 2 Drink.”

LL Cool J: Please tell me you’re actually going to spell out the variations of the word too/to when you title it.

Dee Dee Ramone: No way! I’m going to use the number 2 the way Prince does.

Joey Ramone: I bet it will sound like Number Two. Get it? Like poop!

Samantha Fox: I love poop jokes, Joey!

Joey Ramone: Oh yeah?

Samantha Fox: I do indeed!

LL Cool J: What? You love poop jokes? If I had told poop jokes I could have seduced you?

Samantha Fox: Absolutely.

LL Cool J: But what about all your sexy song titles?

Samantha Fox: That’s all marketing, LL.

DMC: Hey guys, look it’s photographer Ron Gaiella from WireImage! We should totally pose for a group photo.

LL Cool J:  I’d rather not.

Samantha Fox: Come on, LL, it will be fun! And I wanna have some fun!

Joey Ramone [quietly]:
LL, I’m really sorry if I ruined your game.

LL Cool J [mumbles]: That’s OK, I guess. I may have rapped that I’m the type of guy to leave my drawers in your hamper, but I really don’t like poop jokes.

Dee Dee Ramone [sarcastically]: Woah, what a comeback!

LL Cool J: Don’t call it a comeback!

DMC: Hey, you should use that as the opening line to your next album!



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Bloomberg: Going green will grant you longer life…

Former NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg tells Metro that cities are where fighting global warming can make a difference, and increase people’s lifespan.

International

Ban Ki Moon: "Climate change is an issue…

My message to you is: make your voice heard and your actions count. Change is in the air. Solutions exist. The race is on. It’s time to lead.

Local

Earth Day New York food toolkits to help…

Hundreds of classrooms across New York City already have indoor container gardens that allow students to grow food right where they learn. But Earth Day…

Local

NYPD announces street closures for United Nations General…

The United Nations representatives are in town, and multiple city streets will be closed to traffic through Saturday, Sept. 26. The NYPD is urging those…

Television

10 Facts you won’t learn about Frankie Grande…

Frankie Grande is the worst and/or the best. Whether or not you're a fan, you'll want to know these facts about the polarizing player from "Big Brother 16."

Movies

Antoine Fuqua can kill someone with just a…

It's amazing what you can get done with the right tools. In designing the climactic battle in "the Equalizer," in which Denzel Washington's retired special…

Movies

Guess Ben Kingsley's worst filmmaking experience

Here's a fun game: Sir Ben Kingsley has made a lot of films since "Gandhi" in 1982, but at least one of them was a…

Books

Does Lena Dunham have any secrets left?

Get a sneak peek at her new book to determine if it’s worth the read.

NFL

3 things that went wrong in Jets loss…

The Jets have very little room for error with a far-from-explosive offense.

NFL

Eli Manning finally feeling good in West Coast…

The Giants have very little time before their next game, but they still took a moment to relish the team’s biggest offensive outburst since Week 1 of 2013.

College

College football top 25 poll: Oregon, Alabama close…

College football top 25 poll: Oregon, Alabama close in on FSU

NFL

Jay Cutler takes Marc Trestman's coaching to heart

While Jay Cutler turned to an autobiography on the man who would be his head coach, Trestman had personal experience with the player.

Wellbeing

Exercising leads to more drinking — and we…

  We’re rewarding ourselves with more than dessert on days we exercise, according to a new study. On days when people exercise more, typically Thursday…

Wellbeing

5 gadgets to protect you from sharks, concussions,…

The medical industry is inundated with devices looking after all aspects of your wellbeing, from monitoring your sleep patterns to warding off shark attacks. We…

Wellbeing

Narcissism and the ugly side of vanity

I have a friend who constantly talks about herself and rarely asks any questions about my life. She is constantly preening, obsessed with her body,…

Wellbeing

Lacking new ideas, Apple Watch disappoints health experts

Technology pundits were quick to predict the demise of most fitness wristbands and smartwatches when the Apple Watch was announced. But health care professionals and…