What does Lady Gaga’s handwriting say about her?

The estimable Lady Gaga served as Metro’s guest editor today and we got her to answer some of our questions in her own writing. Which, of course, raises the question: What does Lady Gaga’s penmanship say about her?

Metro consulted Dennis Duez, a Pittsburgh-based handwriting analyst who has scrutinized the writings of Britney Spears (she’s very obstinate) and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer (he needs romance, but does not trust it).

After taking a look at the Gaga handwriting sample above, Duez deduced:

»Lady Gaga is a strongly independent, and a my-way-or-the-highway person, as evidenced by her straight up and sometimes slanted slightly to the left lettering. She believes that her way is the right way, said Duez. Critics beware!

»Gaga does not like to be misunderstood, as evidenced by copious amounts of printed text and is a strong communicator. See open tops on lower case "O" "A", and "D" characters.

»Her handwriting evidences a strong performance talent, indicated by the broad "T" bar crossings.

»Honesty is critical for Gaga; when someone lies to her they are gone, gone, gone, said Duez. See the constant use of uppercase, cobra strike "S" through out her writing.

»Apparently, there is an old relationship that has not quite faded from Gaga’s memory, theorizes Duez. It may still return, unbidden, in dreams, he said. See the beginning arc in the ending "y" in "humanity."

»And, our personal favorite: There is evidence of a strong impact to Gaga’s left leg/knee/shin area. This shows up on the dent on the "g" at the end of "unassuming" and in several other "y" characters in her handwriting sample.

And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Read tomorrow’s Metro newspaper for a full analysis of Lady Gaga!