How to not be an anxious parent

Chansky

Every mom or dad can (and will!)  beat themselves up over a parenting misstep here and there. But if you’re constantly berating yourself — and your negative thoughts are taking over — you should accept that in life, and especially in parenting, nobody’s perfect. Let Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D., author of “Freeing Yourself from Anxiety,” teach you how.

Let go of expectations

Whether it’s your expectations for your child that he never pick his nose in public and always get straight A’s, or your expectations for yourself — that your kitchen counters always sparkle and your clothes never have PB and J on them — let them go. Real life has smudges, crumbs and B-minuses. If all of our energy is spent warding these moments off, we’ll be stressed to the max and we’ll miss out on what’s really happening in our lives.

Don’t jump to conclusions
When our children cry at a birthday party or the first day of school, we race ahead to the future and catastrophize that they will always be this way and they’ll never be able to handle these moments. Snap back to the present. Things may be hard now, but trust your children: With your help and acceptance, they will move through these struggles.

Choose your support wisely
If your social network consists of people who compare and contrast their kids and worry about their 5-year-old not getting into Harvard, keep looking! Parenting is hard enough without other parents raising the stakes and your blood pressure. Seek out other parents who share your values and desire for sanity.

Allow your child to struggle (a little)  
We race ahead trying to remove every obstacle for our children, every forgotten lunch box and umbrella. Like us, kids learn best from their mistakes, so let them have them. Resilience is like a muscle: It benefits from practice.

Allow yourself some worry time
Worry is a natural part of life and of love. If your worry is becoming the default mode every day, make it wait for your attention. Schedule five minutes each day when you go into that dark tunnel, and if worry comes at you at other times of the day, tell it that it’s not time yet. When it’s worry time, make two columns in your head (or on paper): Fears on one side, facts on the other. Fear always gets the story wrong — recite the facts of the matter.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

NBA

Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.

NFL

Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.

NFL

Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…

NHL

Rangers' speed versus Flyers' size makes interesting playoff…

Among the myriad aspects that will make this Metropolitan Division semifinal series fascinating will be the battle between the Rangers' speed and the Flyers' size,…

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.