Take note: Paris Hilton’s ‘Drunk Text’ is actually pretty good

Paris Hilton knows that love is an astronaut: It comes back but it's never the same!

Paris Hilton doesn’t make it easy to like her. Sure, she’s always been hot, and in being so, she even made “that’s hot” into a popular catchphrase, but her public persona was always somewhat antagonistic.

She was arguably the very first superstar of the reality TV era. If you remember when people still asked, “Wait, why is this person famous?” you may remember that Paris Hilton was pretty much the first one they asked that about.

And her demeanor has always been one of seeming like she just finished telling people why she thinks she deserves to be famous. The answer would probably be because she’s hot, but it is the heiress’s air of entitlement that the world has always seemed to have a problem with.

Using this logic, you’d think all of her artistic output would be horrible, and not have to reach a very high standard. If you were to look at her film career, you would be 100 percent correct.

However, her musical output has been surprisingly not offensive.

Her 2006 song, “Stars are Blind” demonstrates that not only can she carry a tune, but she also understands the nuances of an easy skankin’ groove.

Her recently released single, “Drunk Text” is similarly unobjectionable, even funny. It shows an awareness of her vapid personality, like she’s in on the joke, unlike a lot of other reality stars’ songs (see below).

The anecdotal narrative of this song is downright funny.

“That guy was there again. He’s like, ‘I’m sorry for what I said last weekend.’ I told him I didn’t mind, which was a lie, but I was equally sorry and I didn’t want to apologize.”

And that’s what’s great about this tune. She doesn’t want to apologize. Sure, there is that horrible part towards the end where she overexplains what sexting is.

“You take the word ‘sex’ and mix it with ‘texting.’ It’s called ‘sexting.’ But when you add ‘drunk sexting,’ the words just don’t make any sense.”

This already makes it sound dated, but here’s what’s interesting. This song may not last very long in the clubs, but it’s absolutely bound to be the soundtrack to “Decade in Review” segments on pop culture programs when we come to the end of 2019. And the fact that a Paris Hilton song will be played in seven years is almost as amazing as the fact that I like her music.


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