It’s true: Snooki confirms pregnancy and engagement

Even though it’s been rumored for a couple weeks, there is still something shocking about hearing Snooki say, “Yes, I’m pregnant.”

The pint-sized reality star used the cover of Us Weekly as her forum for announcing her baby news to the world. She also confirms that boyfriend Jionni LaValle has popped the question and the soon-to-be parents, both 24, are planning to wed in a year.

Known for her partying ways, Snooki had the same thought as the rest of America upon learning of her pregnancy: “‘S–t, I’ve been drinking!’ I was worried. It was New Year’s Eve and we were in Vegas, so I did go crazy,” she told Us Weekly.

If you’re expecting to see Snooki tote her tot to the dance floor at Karma, think again: “I have different priorities now,” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, now 15 weeks pregnant, said. “I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I’m ready and he’s ready.”

New fiance LaValle added, “We are not going to screw this up.”

We’re not sure we believe him. And a lot of it has to do with these next quotes:

“She wants a cheerleader, and I want an athlete,” LaValle said told Us. “If it’s a girl, she is not dating until she is 18.”

Snooki objected, “I’m letting her date. I started dating at 13.”

Yes, America. This will play out exactly as you expect it to.