Tupac at Coachella: Hologram rules to abide by if a tour happens (UPDATED)

Snoop and "Tupac" rapping at Coachella on Day Three of the music festival in Indio, Calif.

It’s downright weird to hear Tupac Shakur say, “What the f— is up, Coachella?” in videos of his “live” performance from Sunday night.

His question is certainly an appropriate one, considering that Tupac has been dead since 1996. He stopped walking the earth three years before Coachella even became a viable music festival, so the possibility that the actual man spoke those words before his death is slim.

But there was Tupac Shakur — or at least some sort of hologram of him — shirtless in jeans and work boots, stalking the stage like a ’90s-era 3-D animation. (Think: that creepy “dancing baby” Yeah — that alien and disturbing.) And what’s weirder, is that the Wall Street Journal is reporting that there may even be a tour for this projected late rapper. Although the Journal is stating that the graphic — made by the same company that made Brad Pitt look like a big-headed goofy teen in his role as Benjamin Button — is not actually a hologram, for the purpose of our story we will now refer to the entity that performed on Sunday as hologrammed Tupac

@font-face {
font-family: “Times”;
}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 10pt; font-family: “Times New Roman”; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

™.

Anyway, as he appeared to interact with live human versions of Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, the performance of hologrammed Tupac

@font-face {
font-family: “Times”;
}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 10pt; font-family: “Times New Roman”; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

tugged on various heartstrings, provoking assorted profound reactions, both sweet nostalgia and anger at the robotic hubris being displayed.

Apparently fans all over YouTube felt the same way.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be remembered like this. And I don’t think 2pac would either,” mused a user named SlowY00.

While somebody called MsCharlotte01 wrote, “this actually made me get goose bumps actually. amazing”

In the neither-here-nor-there category, but worth mentioning for comic effect, there was also this comment…

“That sh-t was on a whole different level,” wrote a user named iTzShowTiiimee. “Guarantee majority of the people trippin balls definitely thought he was alive. Then when they saw him disappear probably had the worst trip of their life.”

All of these users are right. This advancement in concert technology is both terrifying and exciting. It’s exciting because for music fans born too late it means the chance to experience a concert performance by the likes of Elvis, The Doors, Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix, but the purist in all of us knows that these performances aren’t live, nor are they real. They are incredible displays of technology, but they don’t pack the spiritual punch of a real performance given by a live human being. I’m of the mind that any performance using a hologrammed artist should come with a few caveats.

1) Holograms of dead artists are only to be used with artists who actually performed with them during their lifetime.

2) Only one hologrammed member per act allowed. Sorry, Beatles fans.

3) Hologrammed artists are only allowed to perform a maximum of three songs in a row. Any more than that and fans could believe that the person is really there, which could lead to fans storming the stage to hug the deceased singer, thus shattering the illusion for everybody.

4) Hologrammed artists are not allowed to discuss current events or address a crowd they never would have addressed during their lifetime. It’s too creepy to consider a dead person talking about that when everybody at the concert knows that the real person is buried in the ground.

5) All voicings need to be actual things the hologrammed artist said.

6) Live artists who interact with a hologrammed artist need to put their hands through the hologram at least once per performance.

7) Michael Jackson holograms are only allowed to be from the “Off the Wall” era and before. He can perform songs from “Thriller,” but he can’t showcase any post-plastic surgery features.

8) If any of these rules are broken, the hologrammed artist has to dance with the oogachaka baby.

Also, if you haven’t seen it yet, here is hologrammed Tupac

@font-face {
font-family: “Times”;
}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 10pt; font-family: “Times New Roman”; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

in all of his synthetic glory.

:



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

National

Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

Movies

Shia LaBeouf disorderly conduct case pushed to September

A judge on Thursday adjourned until September the disorderly conduct and harassment case against actor Shia LaBeouf, who was charged with disturbing a Broadway theater…

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

NBA

NBA great LeBron James sends 800 cupcake apologies…

By Kim PalmerCLEVELAND (Reuters) - NBA star LeBron James, whose recent return to the Cleveland Cavaliers in his home state of Ohio sparked a frenzy…

NFL

Jerry Reese confident with Giants, skipping countdown clocks…

Last year, Giants GM Jerry Reese installed a countdown clock in the locker room to inspire Big Blue to play in their own stadium for Super Bowl XLVIII.

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.