What it’s like to be ‘Miss Advised’?
New York matchmaker Amy Laurent is about to star in a show that points out all the ways in which she doesn’t stick to her own dating advice. Bravo TV’s “Miss Advised” features herself and two other savvy relationship experts — Julia Allison in Los Angeles and Emily Morse in San Francisco — who can dole out great bits of wisdom for other people, but have a hard time settling down themselves. Laurent discussed with us the perils and perks of dating on TV.
I can’t imagine anyone signs up to do a reality show knowing it will end up being about how, as a dating expert, she doesn’t take her own dating advice.
Well, I knew. First of all, the decision to make a reality show is a big one. I knew that this wasn’t a matchmaker show. It was pretty clear that this would be an inside look at what real life is for an expert. When you go into a show knowing there are two other relationship experts who happen to be single, you can’t lie to yourself and say “I didn’t know this was going to delve into my personal life.”
Which of your own rules is the hardest to follow?
I’m really great at guiding people through relationships because my heart’s not involved and I’m in control. When my ex came back into town, I felt like a 12 year-old girl in a panic. You’re not supposed to see your ex. … And what do I say? I say, “I can’t wait to see you.” But it’s real and this is what being human is all about.
How did you prepare the men you were dating for spending time in front of the camera?
To be honest, for the past four and a half years, I haven’t really dated, so having a camera there didn’t make much of a difference for me because I was just getting myself back into the dating world. There was no prep time. Yes, doing a show like this, you have to get used to the cameras, but I can promise you that when you’re dealing with something so raw and real, you forget the cameras are there. It really gets personal.
Her dating rules for men
Don’t ask her out for the second date while on the first date. “Don’t put that person on the spot.”
Don’t reach out too soon after the first date. “[Reach out] maybe the next evening.”
Don’t plan dinner or drinks at your house. “Obviously, don’t have sex early on.”
Her dating rules for women
Never initiate the text to the guy. “Let him initiate. If you start taking that role, guess what? He’s going to sit back and relax and you’re going to have to chase him.”
Keep busy. “If you like a guy, don’t say no to other dates. Keep dating other people until you’re exclusive.”
Don’t accept same-day dates. “I don’t care if you’re bored off your butt and he says, ‘Are you free tonight?’ You teach him: ‘You want to see me? You have to plan ahead.’”