The Word: Brace yourself for a Britstorm

Relax, Britney — Vegas is the booze and glitter capital of the world.

Britney Spears is really on a makeover mission for the new year. After quitting “The X Factor” last week, she decided to further shake up her 2013 by ending things with fiance Jason Trawick over the weekend.

“Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement. I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends,” Spears said in a statement that we assume was heavily edited.

Unfortunately, there’s no head-shaving and car-smashing to speak of this time around. Sources tell TMZ that the reasons for the split are pretty normal by celebrity standards: Trawick was a little uneasy being an usher at the Britney Circus; the couple couldn’t decide on having children; Britney Spears is Britney-effing-Spears.

So where do you go when you quit your job and your fiance in the same week? Vegas, baby. Brit’s reportedly close to a deal with Caesar properties for a long-term gig. According to TMZ, the paycheck will be “astronomical,” topping Celine Dion’s $100 million-per-year deal at Caesars.

How much do we want to jump in a red convertible with Britney and drive across the desert right now?

So much.

Gaga vs. the Osbournes

Lady Gaga has picked herself quite the fight. In an open letter to Kelly Osbourne — who is a commenter on E! network’s catty “Fashion Police” — Gaga whipped out the B-word, calling Osbourne a bully on her blog.

“To see you blossoming into a beautiful slender woman who makes fun of others for a living is astounding. Why not help others?” wondered Gaga in one of the more annoying pieces of prose on the Web.

Now Sharon Osbourne has come to her daughter’s defense. “You say [Kelly's] work on E! with the Fashion Police is ‘rooted in criticism, judgment, and rating people’s beauty against one another.’ Welcome to the real world,” the 60-year-old firecracker snapped on her Facebook page. “Example, when I saw you wear a dress made out of raw meat, I was sickened.”

Listen, Gaga: Don’t engage in an Internet fight with someone who has made a living being the craziest, scariest Osbourne. This woman’s a survivor, and she totally wants your little dog, too.