The Word: Jason London’s dazed, confused, and pooping

All of those Tiger Beat questionnaires that “Dazed and Confused” star Jason London had to fill out in the ’90s never foresaw him crapping in the back seat of a cop car.

The former teen heartthrob got into a bit of a mess in Scottsdale, Ariz., on Saturday night after getting into a bar fight with some bouncers. According to the police report, cops were called and London was so nuts and shoving officers that he had to be subdued.

But it was in the backseat of the cop car on the way to being booked where it gets sad/bad: En route to the station, London started throwing insults to the cops.

“I f–ing love this.  I f–ing own you guys so hard,” he reportedly yelled. “I’m rich and I’m a motherf–ing famous actor!  F–ing look me up, bitch. It smells like s–t in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea.”  The “rich and motherf–ing famous” actor then leaned to the left and pooped. London, not one to forget his theater training, then offered this zinger:  “I told you I’m happy as s–t.”

London was eventually arrested for disorderly conduct/fighting and assault, and for realizing that you don’t need to take similes literally.