Smells like dream spirit

Originally published October 2010

Pop stars both past and present have factored into my dreams since I was a little kid.

My older brother reported that when I was 10, he would often hear one-sided conversations that were obviously between me and David Lee Roth. When I asked him how he knew that’s who it was, he said, “Because you keep addressing him as David Lee Roth.”

Apparently, I never got close enough to Diamond Dave to use anything less than all three of his names, even in my sleeping state.

I have had dreams of Bob Marley, Biggie Smalls, Bruce Springsteen and Cyndi Lauper over the years. And those are just the ones I can remember without consulting the index of the dream diary that I kept and invested too much emotional weight in when I was unemployed right after college.

Anyway, the other night I had a very vivid dream about Kurt Cobain hosting “Saturday Night Live.” It was 2010 and it was in an alternate reality where he obviously hadn’t killed himself 16 years previously.

During the monologue, which I caught while he was in the middle of it, he was wearing the same outfit he had on in this photo shoot, and he addressed “suicide rumors from the ‘90s” as a joke that received some hearty laughs from the crowd.

He looked healthy and heavier in the face than he ever was, and I wondered what had happened with his career in the intervening years. Had Nirvana broken up, as was rumored around the time right before he died? Had he softened with age? Had he done any musical experiments that the passing of time would have treated more harshly than the small catalogue he actually left behind?

As he closed his monologue he said, “We’ve got a great show! I’m here!” As he stated the second sentiment — a light-hearted egotistical indication that not only would Kurt be the host and appear in sketches, but he would also be the musical guest — he extended his hands so the viewers could clearly see his thumb poking through the holes in his oversized sleeves.

“Man, this is cool,” I thought to myself, “I’m participating in an alternate reality, and getting to watch it on TV, so I can’t affect any ‘Back to the Future’-like changes.”

As I put my feet up on the table, and settled in to see what good old Kurt was up to, I was abruptly yanked out of the dream. I had been too cognitive of what was going on, and was forbidden to see any further, the way certain powers don’t let me continue flying and/or get it on if I’m aware that this is something cool that’s going on, and have any suspicion that I’m inside of a dream.

So dear readers, I cannot share with you any more information than that Kurt Cobain is alive and well and apparently still popular enough to host “SNL” in an alternate universe. I wish I could share some of the jokes with you though.

When I awoke though, I remembered this weird minor burst on the Internet from last year that I thought I’d re-share.

While I love the story, the music just isn’t quite good enough to be anywhere near real. But at least it is more real than Kurt Cobain doing a soft-rock version of “Frances Farmer Will Get Her Revenge on Seattle.”


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
International

'Barack Obama cheats on Michelle' claims Japanese politician…

A senior Japanese politician has marred Barack Obama's official visit to Tokyo with bizarre claims that the President cheats on his wife Michelle. Kazuyuki Hamada,…

International

British Royal family devastated by freak NY death…

The British royals have been left devastated by the death of Mark Shand, younger brother of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, after a freak fall in…

Local

VIDEO: Police seek suspect in molotov cocktail attack…

Police released surveillance video on Wednesday in hopes of tracking down a man who threw a molotov cocktail inside a Brooklyn corner store.

Local

City Council budget asks for 1,000 additional NYPD…

Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito unveiled the City Council's budget priorities on Wednesday, including the extra cops for the NYPD at a cost of $94.3 million.

Television

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ recap: Episode 9

It was only an hour-long episode, but there's a lot to cover this week. The drama of Survivor strikes again as the identity of the…

Television

TV watch list, Wednesday, April 23: 'Suburgatory,' 'Modern…

'Suburgatory' The men of "Suburgatory" go camping and Tessa mentors a social outcast in a Miss Chatswin contest, which brings her, once again, into conflict…

The Word

The best lines from Oprah's ex-stepmother's Daily Mail…

Oprah’s ex-stepmother, Barbara Winfrey, is out for revenge.

Books

A debut novel about fate, love and moving…

Pia Padukone talks about her debut novel, "Where Earth Meets Water."

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24…

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24 version

NFL

Giants 2014 regular season schedule

The Giants will play five prime-time games — against the Lions, Redskins, Eagles, Colts and Cowboys.

MLB

Jets 2014 regular season schedule

The Jets will play three prime-time games — against the Bears, Patriots and Dolphins — as well as a CBS national game in Week 2 at Green Bay.

NBA

Phil Jackson talked to Steve Kerr, pushes for…

Knicks president Phil Jackson spoke to the media for the first time since firing head coach Mike Woodson on Monday.

Style

Pippa Middleton's Etsy pick: Golden Thread Jewelry

Get a look at the jewelry Pippa Middleton loves and find out how you can buy it too.

Parenting

What every parent needs to know to get…

Mom and author of "Small Talk," Tracey Blake, shares her five practical tips to help you develop your children's language skills.

Sex

Subway crush: Meet your soulmate on your commute

Read about a couple who has been 40 years after meeting on the train.

Tech

Happy birthday, Game Boy! The handheld console turns…

Nintendo's Game Boy turns 25 this week. To commemorate, we look at some of its better games, like "Tetris" and "The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening."