The Word: Help! What does Jennifer Aniston’s dress mean?!

SELF Magazine And Jennifer Aniston Celebrate Mandy Ingber's New Book "Yogalosophy: 28 Days To The Ultimate Mind-Body Makeover" At The Soho House West Hollywood

Oh man. Jennifer Aniston. What are you doing to us? How in the world can you show up to an event in a dress that has been alternately described as a “billowy,” “loose,”  and “definitely maternity”? What does this mean?! Of course, it could just be that she’s wearing a loose-fitting dress at the book launch party for Mandy Ingber’s “Yogalosophy: 28 Days to the Ultimate Mind-Body Makeover” and we are all jumping to conclusions. And honestly, if I were Jennifer Aniston, I’d wear dresses like this until the day I die just to continuously mess with the minds of the baby-hungry public at large. Your body, your life, girlfriend.

But here’s what is also suspicious: Aniston has moved her wedding date and she’s passing the blame to Brad Pitt (ex-husbands are always good scapegoats). Why? She doesn’t want to overlap with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s rumored wedding this summer, according to Us Weekly. “She does not want her day associated with them,” a source says, adding that when Aniston first heard of Pitt’s planned wedding date she considered moving her wedding to Justin Theroux up to take place before it, but her fiancé talked her out of that idea. “Justin got weirded out by all the rushing.” Aniston has now reportedly put her wedding plans completely on hold. “Nothing has happened on that front in a month,” the source says.

Maybe that’s because she’s pregnant?! Or not. Only time, and more billowy dresses, will tell.

Wolverine and the razor: The aftermath

So what is the charge of throwing a razor full of pubes at a celebrity? Is there, like, a book the DA looks at that says: Razor full of pubes = misdemeanor stalking and harassment charges? Because that’s what Hugh Jackman’s unwelcome New York gym buddy got slapped with, along with a burglary charge, two weeks after she barged into a Gotham gym and threw an electric razor filled with her own pubic hair at the “Wolverine” star. It’s unclear exactly what the woman is being accused of stealing, but she’s currently in jail in lieu of a $7,500 bond, with another court date lined up for next week.

Have fun with that one, American justice system.

 


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