How to not be an anxious parent

Chansky

Every mom or dad can (and will!)  beat themselves up over a parenting misstep here and there. But if you’re constantly berating yourself — and your negative thoughts are taking over — you should accept that in life, and especially in parenting, nobody’s perfect. Let Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D., author of “Freeing Yourself from Anxiety,” teach you how.

Let go of expectations

Whether it’s your expectations for your child that he never pick his nose in public and always get straight A’s, or your expectations for yourself — that your kitchen counters always sparkle and your clothes never have PB and J on them — let them go. Real life has smudges, crumbs and B-minuses. If all of our energy is spent warding these moments off, we’ll be stressed to the max and we’ll miss out on what’s really happening in our lives.

Don’t jump to conclusions
When our children cry at a birthday party or the first day of school, we race ahead to the future and catastrophize that they will always be this way and they’ll never be able to handle these moments. Snap back to the present. Things may be hard now, but trust your children: With your help and acceptance, they will move through these struggles.

Choose your support wisely
If your social network consists of people who compare and contrast their kids and worry about their 5-year-old not getting into Harvard, keep looking! Parenting is hard enough without other parents raising the stakes and your blood pressure. Seek out other parents who share your values and desire for sanity.

Allow your child to struggle (a little)  
We race ahead trying to remove every obstacle for our children, every forgotten lunch box and umbrella. Like us, kids learn best from their mistakes, so let them have them. Resilience is like a muscle: It benefits from practice.

Allow yourself some worry time
Worry is a natural part of life and of love. If your worry is becoming the default mode every day, make it wait for your attention. Schedule five minutes each day when you go into that dark tunnel, and if worry comes at you at other times of the day, tell it that it’s not time yet. When it’s worry time, make two columns in your head (or on paper): Fears on one side, facts on the other. Fear always gets the story wrong — recite the facts of the matter.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

California passes 'yes-means-yes' campus sexual assault bill

Californian lawmakers passed a law on Thursday requiring universities to adopt "affirmative consent" language in their definitions of consensual sex, part of a nationwide drive to curb sexual assault on…

National

Syrian refugees top 3 million, half of all…

By Stephanie NebehayGENEVA (Reuters) - Three million Syrian refugees will have registered in neighboring countries as of Friday, but many remain trapped by the advance…

International

North Korean leader's money manager defects in Russia:…

A senior North Korean banking official who managed money for leader Kim Jong Un has defected in Russia and was seeking asylum in a third country, a South Korean newspaper…

Local

MAP: New York City Street Closures August 29,…

The Department of Transportation and NYPD said there may be residual delays near all of the street closures on August 29, 31 and 31. Several streets and avenues will be…

Going Out

'Friends' coffeehouse Central Perk coming to NYC —…

"Friends" is coming back for a one-off special: "The One with the Free Coffee." Warner Bros. is bringing a pop-up replica of Central Perk, the…

Movies

Interview: 'As Above, So Below' directors: 5 ways…

The fraternal directors of the found footage horror "As Above, So Below" dish on the best ways to frighten the bejesus out of audiences.

Movies

Criterion's new Jacques Demy box mixes the light…

Jacques Demy, the most effervescent of French New Wave filmmakers, gets a Criterion box all to himself, with classics like "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg."

Entertainment

Comedian Joan Rivers, 81, rushed to New York…

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Acerbic comedian and fashion critic Joan Rivers was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital in New York on Thursday after she reportedly…

NFL

3 things we learned in the Giants preseason…

The final score didn’t matter — a 16-13 win by the Giants — but it would’ve been nice to finally see Big Blue’s new-look offense get on track.

NFL

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots, 49ers start…

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots start at top

U.S. Soccer

5 facts about new England captain Wayne Rooney

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney was named as the new England captain by coach Roy Hodgson on Thursday.

NFL

Jets vs. Eagles: 3 things to watch

A win on Thursday night at the Eagles would give the Jets a 3-1 record and just their second winning preseason under head coach Rex Ryan.

Style

Trend: White hot on the 2014 Emmy's red…

White was one of the big trends on the Emmy's red carpet.

Food

Recipe: Samuel Adams beer-marinated grilled shrimp

Summer calls for two things: a cold beer and light food. Sam Adams' Latitude 48 IPA fairly bursts with citrus notes, making it an ideal marinade…

Wellbeing

4 healthy ingredient swaps to make your meals…

When it comes to eating well, everyone knows they could be doing better. But cooking in an apartment on a busy schedule is a recipe…

Wellbeing

Heart trumps brain when it comes to movies…

When you need a good cry, do you reach for the movie that’s “based on a true story”? Science says you’re giving your brain far…