Martha Graham Cracker shares her 5 worst karaoke songs

Martha Graham Cracker Joe's Pub
The Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret returns to
Joe’s Pub this Friday, March 14th for two shows, one at 9:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Tickets are $20. Photo credit: Amy Hartranft

Martha Graham Cracker is more than just your average drag queen — she is a force. The 6’8″ towering (and decidedly hairy) persona of Philadelphia actor Dito Van Reigersberg, Martha and her very willing back-up band tackle cabaret standards and ‘80s pop hits with dedication and a ferocious glee.  

She returns this Friday to perform two shows at Joe’s Pub with the Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret. “I can always say that something weird and uncanny and physically dangerous will occur,” she recently told Metro about her performances.

And since Martha is a master of cover songs, we asked her which hits are the most deadly when the average mortal tries to sing them, whether it be in a karaoke booth or in the shower. Amateurs, take note.

1. “American Pie” by Don McLean

It’s way, way, way, way, way too long. Plus, it is completely irresponsible to take people into an allegory about rock ‘n roll and Jesus Christ if you can’t get them out of it.

2. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

For one thing, this song is simply overdone. Second, Gaynor did it best, so just leave it to her. And finally, there’s probably no room to dance at said karaoke bar, and this song always makes me want to dance.

3. Any Song from a Disney Movie

We’re adults, people.

4. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

Anyone who isn’t the divine Freddie Mercury WILL crack on those high notes. The first half is fine, but once you get to the operatic choral part, it all falls apart.

5. “Castle on a Cloud” by Les Miserables

Just give it a shot the next time you’re at karaoke, and you’ll see EXACTLY what I mean.

The Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret
Joe’s Pub
Friday, March 14th at 9:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.
Tickets $20


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