Martha Graham Cracker shares her 5 worst karaoke songs

Martha Graham Cracker Joe's Pub
The Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret returns to
Joe’s Pub this Friday, March 14th for two shows, one at 9:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Tickets are $20. Photo credit: Amy Hartranft

Martha Graham Cracker is more than just your average drag queen — she is a force. The 6’8″ towering (and decidedly hairy) persona of Philadelphia actor Dito Van Reigersberg, Martha and her very willing back-up band tackle cabaret standards and ‘80s pop hits with dedication and a ferocious glee.  

She returns this Friday to perform two shows at Joe’s Pub with the Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret. “I can always say that something weird and uncanny and physically dangerous will occur,” she recently told Metro about her performances.

And since Martha is a master of cover songs, we asked her which hits are the most deadly when the average mortal tries to sing them, whether it be in a karaoke booth or in the shower. Amateurs, take note.

1. “American Pie” by Don McLean

It’s way, way, way, way, way too long. Plus, it is completely irresponsible to take people into an allegory about rock ‘n roll and Jesus Christ if you can’t get them out of it.

2. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

For one thing, this song is simply overdone. Second, Gaynor did it best, so just leave it to her. And finally, there’s probably no room to dance at said karaoke bar, and this song always makes me want to dance.

3. Any Song from a Disney Movie

We’re adults, people.

4. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

Anyone who isn’t the divine Freddie Mercury WILL crack on those high notes. The first half is fine, but once you get to the operatic choral part, it all falls apart.

5. “Castle on a Cloud” by Les Miserables

Just give it a shot the next time you’re at karaoke, and you’ll see EXACTLY what I mean.

The Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret
Joe’s Pub
Friday, March 14th at 9:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.
Tickets $20


US military tried, but failed to rescue journalist…

The U.S. military earlier this year tried to rescue journalist James Foley and other American hostages held in Syria ,but failed to find the captives.


Fate of captured beluga whales in hands of…

A Georgia aquarium went to court on Wednesday seeking federal permission to bring 18 captured beluga whales to the United States from Russia.


After Eric Garner death, religious leaders meet to…

Interfaith leaders convened with city officials to discuss what the community can do to help dial down heightened tensions after Eric Garner's death.


'Suspicious' Hamilton Heights fire caused by power strip:…

An extension cord overload caused the deadly fire in Hamilton Heights late Monday that killed a 15-year-old girl and injured at least 12 others.


'So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Season…

And then there were six. It was a big night on stage as the Top 6 got to dance with each other, All-star partners and perform a solo routine.


'Doctor Who' personality profile: the 4 Doctors

When the time comes for a new Doctor, there's always some anxiety over the big question: Who will he be? The series owes its longevity…


Billy Crystal to commemorate late actor Robin Williams…

  Comedian Billy Crystal will pay tribute to late actor Robin Williams at television's Primetime Emmy Awards on Aug. 25, the show's organizers said on…

Going Out

Things to do this week in NYC, Aug.…

GAMES Hudson Common Open Aug. 21, 7 p.m. Hudson Common 356 W. 58 St. Free, The U.S. Open begins on Monday, but most of…


Giants expected to work Corey Washington into first-team…

The day of reckoning for the Giants' fringe players will fall upon them Friday night against the Jets.


Jalen Saunders still unsure what caused car accident…

Jets rookie wide receiver Jalen Saunders spoke to the media Wednesday for the first time since his car accident, but he didn't say a whole lot.


2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL…

2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL defense (DEF)


2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL…

2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL quarterbacks (QB)


Online dating for every generation

Frank Jackson and his mother Maggie are like lots of modern families: They have dinner together regularly, keep each other updated on their lives —…


Going green could be the key to getting…

If we could just pursue the things that would actually make us happy, we could help the environment too, according to a New York researcher.…


Metabolic syndrome could have a sugar link

Scientists in St. Louis may have found another culprit in metabolic syndrome, which can lead to heart disease and type 2 diabetes.  Uric acid is…


Another way stress hurts your unborn baby

Mothers know to try staying calm during pregnancy, as stress has been linked to behavioral and developmental problems for their babies. But now, a new…