Miley Cyrus masturbates in sexy teaser from upcoming ‘Adore You’ video

Ok, so everyone has seen this clip that’s going around from Miley’s new music video for her song “Adore You,” right?

If you haven’t, because, I guess, you don’t have a Google alert set up for “Miley Cyrus” like I do, here’s the relevant info:

The teaser, which Miley posted to her Instagram over the weekend, features grainy, sex tape-esque footage of Miley, er, pleasuring herself.

I guess we now have the answer to the age-old question “where does one in eternal pursuit of shock value and press go after humping a foam finger while practically naked onstage?” One goes to fingering oneself on camera.

But, OK, here’s the thing. Anyone who has read my column in this publication knows that I’m a hardcore Miley apologist. I think she’s awesome and, despite her annoying penchant for tongue-wagging, super talented! (“We Can’t Stop” was the undisputed, number one jam of the year, and maybe my life.) So, what I’m going to say next shouldn’t come as a huge surprise.

I don’t hate this. Miley Cyrus is a next-level entertainer and whoever is handling her PR right now deserves a big, fat holiday bonus. MyCy (I’m still totally going with this, and don’t understand why nobody else has picked this up) was the most-Googled person of the year, which is pretty damn impressive considering where she started.

Also, I’m sure there’s an opportunity for a think piece on female empowerment and sexual freedom, etc, etc here. I’m not going to write it, I’m just saying there’s a window.


How to donate during the blood drive at…

The Metro-North Railroad and New York Blood Center are hosting a blood drive at Grand Central Terminal Thursday.


Bloomberg launches $50 million anti-gun violence effort

Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans to spend $50 million on a grassroots anti-gun violence network to challenge the National Rifle Association.


East Village woman fights off rape attempt from…

An East Village woman fought off an attempted rapist that she woke to find standing on her bed over the weekend, police said.


Nearly 300 missing after South Korean ferry capsizes

Almost 300 people were missing after a ferry capsized off South Korea Wednesday, in what could be the country's biggest maritime disaster in over 20 years.


Interview: Johnny Depp says he looks like himself,…

Johnny Depp talks about his new sci-fi thriller "Transcendence," not wearing gaudy makeup and wigs for a change and how he's a bit of a Luddite.


Review: 'Heaven is for Real' tries to be…

The mega-bestseller "Heaven is for Real" becomes a movie that tries to portray wrestling with faith — or at least it tries to try.


Slideshow: Check out Johnny Depp looking weird through…

Johnny Depp says he looks like himself in "Transcendence." He usually doesn't. Here's a slideshow of his weirder faces.


Jim Rash talks 'The Writer's Room' and amazing…

For Jim Rash, as the fifth season of "Community" comes to a close, the second season of "The Writer's Room" begins.


Top 5 Philadelphia storylines for Flyers-Rangers

The slate is clean for the Flyers and the Rangers. Which is good news for the Flyers.


Islanders back to rebuilding mode after disappointing season

One season after qualifying for the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time since 2006-07, the Islanders finished 2013-14 with a 34-37-11 record.


Jets confident despite Chris Johnson leaving with no…

Jets fans clamored for a playmaker on offense all offseason. It looked like they were going to land that player on Tuesday when Chris Johnson…


Knicks, Nets rivalry never materialized despite national attention

When the NBA schedule was released, the league anticipated an intense rivalry between the Nets and Knicks with all four games slated for national TV.


How to get a job at a startup:…

We talked to Tarek Pertew, one of the co-founders behind Uncubed, about how to get your dream job at a startup.


The 'smartest' summer camps across the country

See a list of summer camps across the country that emphasis learning, while still being fun.


3 easy DIY updates for your home

While you're deep into spring cleaning, why not make a few tweaks to give your home a fresh decorative twist? Don't worry, we're not talking…


Martha Stewart's tips for a perfect Easter

Even if your dinner isn't as perfect as hers, you can use her advice.