Clay Aiken is running for Congress


Where does one go after being a runner-up on “American Idol?” Usually a fourth-rate reality show on, like, We TV and a part-time job at Applebees. Rarely a bid for an important governmental position.

Clay Aiken, whose freckled, ginger visage became famous for a minute in 2003 thanks to “Idol,” has just announced that he’s running for Congress. No, I didn’t read this in The Onion. Bet that’d be a funny bit, though. It’s true: He’s running for the North Carolina Democratic seat currently held by Rep. Renee Ellmers. (I looked that up — me knowing something like that off the top of my head is another thing The Onion could write.)

There are just so many jokes to be made here, my brain has sort of gone into overload and, instead of producing all the witticisms I KNOW can be mined from this announcement, all it’s doing is playing “Invisible” on endless loop.

Who is Aiken’s campaign manager going to be? Ruben Studdard? (Aim high, Aiken — I hear Seacrest will do just about anything for the right price.) And what’s his platform going to be? “Pizza and ice cream for breakfast!”?

On a serious note, Aiken, despite having made some seriously awful music, seems like a decent guy and has made it clear that he has no experience in politics, but would like to make a difference in what he perceives to be a flawed system. I feel you, bro.

Plus, there is a precedent for people who have no clue what they’re doing or talking about or how they even got here right now making it into super high seats of political power. His name rhymes with gorge double-true tush.


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