Justin Bieber might actually get deported

Find a shirt, Biebs, you’ll need it in Canada.

There’s a petition floating around the Internet that calls for Justin Bieber to be deported back to Canada — and a lot of people have signed it. Enough people that I feel pretty confident saying that America seems to be in Bieber Fever remission. Yes, some of us will forever bear scars — much like carrying the pockmarks of cystic teen acne long into adulthood — but the prognosis is good. We’re expected to make a full recovery.

This is all to say that these petitioners might just get their wish: New surveillance video has surfaced that apparently proves Bieber’s guilt in the egging of his neighbor’s house last month. (I remember kids egging houses when I was maybe 13 years old, by the way. Welcome to the eighth grade, Justin Bieber.)

According to immigration law, if one is convicted of a crime of “moral turpitude,” that’s reason enough to pull his green card and send him packing from whence he came.

“Moral turpitude” is a crime involving “malicious destruction of property.” I’m no lawyer, but splattering someone’s home with egg yolks in a fit of misdirected adolescent rage sounds like malicious enough destruction.

In Justin’s case, the green card in question is actually an O-1 Work Permit, a special certificate awarded to foreigners with “extraordinary abilities” so that they can bring those skills Stateside. In Justin’s case, “extraordinary douchebaggery.”

Well, if some guy having to powerwash omelet ingredients off his house is all it takes to boot the Biebs back to Canada, I’m OK with that. Gotta break a few eggs to deport a giant egghead, as the saying goes.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

News

Mets mascot Mr. Met target of Bill Clinton…

Mets mascot Mr. Met has told how he ended up in the crosshairs of a Secret Service sniper rifle. The man behind the Mr. Met…

International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

National

Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

Movies

Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.

Television

Dick Wolf to bring fictionalized world of 'Law…

A&E has ordered a pilot called "D.O.A." from "Law and Order" mastermind Dick Wolf that will focus on real detectives reexamining cold cases. A trio…

Television

Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.

NHL

Rangers draw first blood against Flyers in Game…

Brad Richards and Derek Stepan scored power-play goals 47 seconds apart to lead the Rangers to a 4-1 win.

NBA

Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.

NFL

Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.

NFL

Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.

Travel

Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.

Tech

Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.