‘Girls’ recap, Season 3, Episode 7, ‘Beach House’

A little choreography will smooth everything over.
Credit: HBO

The girls get off the bus at the North Shore (the Hamptons are tacky) and Jessa has informed Marnie that she has invited an old couple from the bus to Marnie’s family friend’s home. The girls start to fight over rooms, but of course, Marnie assigned rooms.

Marnie reveals that she wants to “prove to everyone via Instagram that we can have fun as a group” and hopes this will be a bonding weekend for them. Hannah bikes to the grocery store in her bikini and gets kicked out of the store. She waits outside and hears a group of gay guys make fun of the girl in the bikini. It turns out it’s her ex Elijah and his friends. They chat about how Marnie’s acting crazy, like a “skinny Miss Hannigan,” and we learn that Hannah knows Marnie and Elijah slept together and their friendship hasn’t been the same since. Hannah tells Elijah to come to the house. Marnie is upset that Hannah invited him but Elijah tries to smooth things over. They have a heart-to-heart and he tells Marnie he’s in love. The conversation tapers off when they see Hannah outside shaking her booty and pouring a bottle of water on herself, video vixen style.

We learn more about Marnie’s breakup with Charlie while she talks to Elijah. Even the biggest Marnie hater will feel for her after this story. She says they were supposed to have dinner when he walked into the apartment, packed his things without saying a word and then finally said, “I don’t love you and I’ve never loved you,” right before he walked out the door. She tells Elijah that Charlie’s company went under and now he works at a sneaker store. The girls drink and Elijah’s choreographer friend teaches them a dance in the living room.

Marnie tells Hannah about her abandonment issues and they apologize to each other and agree they’re going to make this the best weekend ever. Jessa is hitting on one of Elijah’s friends in the pool, and Hannah tells Elijah that she doesn’t look the way Paul talks to him. Marnie tries to pull the girls aside for a secret dinner while the guys are in the pool, but as even Hannah realizes, that’s weird and rude, so everyone piles in for the tiniest dinner ever. “Hard time, Marns?” Elijah cracks. Only Marnie doesn’t laugh. Everyone goes into the living room for a surreal dance scene. What is this, a Ryan Murphy show? It’s adorable and fun but Marnie wants them to do it again to make it perfect. Then they get into an argument about how that dinner was for four and a “time for honesty.”

Shoshanna is drunk and calls Hannah a narcissist and says that some of the things Hannah says are so boring it makes her want to lie in her own vomit. Then she tells Marnie that dinner was like a used condom she just wants to throw away. Then Shosh tells the rest of the girls they talk to her like she’s a cab driver and that she can’t stand them. Shosh is on fire and Jessa calls her a cruel drunk. Hannah calls her “unstimulating” and all four of them attack each other. “I’m so f—ing sick of all of you,” Shoshanna says, voicing what everyone else is thinking.

Elijah asks Paul to be more respectful of him. Paul cuts him down and Elijah tells him he just wants to be comfortable around him because he loves him. Paul says Elijah wants something he can’t give him. Elijah takes it back and as Paul tries to tell him maybe they should break up, Elijah shuts him by kissing him and going down on him. It’s the single most depressing scene of “Girls” this season.

The girls wake up the next morning and quietly clean the house. They sit on the dock and practice their choreographed moves.

Follow Andrea Park on Twitter: @andreapark


OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…


Mets mascot Mr. Met target of Bill Clinton…

Mets mascot Mr. Met has told how he ended up in the crosshairs of a Secret Service sniper rifle. The man behind the Mr. Met…


Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."


Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.


'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…


Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.


Dick Wolf to bring fictionalized world of 'Law…

A&E has ordered a pilot called "D.O.A." from "Law and Order" mastermind Dick Wolf that will focus on real detectives reexamining cold cases. A trio…


Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.


Rangers draw first blood against Flyers in Game…

Brad Richards and Derek Stepan scored power-play goals 47 seconds apart to lead the Rangers to a 4-1 win.


Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.


Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.


Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…


Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.


Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.


Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.


Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.