‘Orphan Black’ recap: Season 2, Episode 9, ‘Things Which Have Never Yet Been Done’

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Delphine! We trust you now, but also you are in big trouble, which makes you untrustworthy again. Alas.
Credit: Steve Wilkie for BBC America

Well, now we know which clone to ask for help concealing a murder. What a cute little homicide coverup team Alison and Donnie make! The late, lamented Dr. Leekie gets to spend some quality time in the Hendrix freezer before the duo comes up with the hopefully brilliant plan of cementing him into their garage floor. Will that keep the body from decomposing and smelling? Alison was so quick and competent in her plans that I trust the decision. It certainly seems more permanent than Sarah’s efforts last season to hide Katja Obinger in the world’s shallowest grave next to a construction site.

Helena also goes through with her own not-so-well-thought-out plan, which is to have her embryos implanted back at the Prolethean farm. The pastor is assisted in the procedure by a nurse named Alexis, who is played by Kathryn Alexandre. Oh, you’re not familiar with Kathryn Alexandre? You should be. She has the second biggest role on the show: She’s Tatiana Maslany’s body double, so every time more than one clone is present, she’s acted the entire scene out as all the clones with Maslany.

From the way Helena keeps referring to her babies, plural, I’m a little concerned she’s hoping to have a whole litter.

Rachel and Delphine meet up for a quick chat about Cosima, last seen collapsing to the ground. Apparently, the growths have spread faster than they can be treated with the small sample Kira provided in her tooth. Rachel generously offers/forces Delphine into being interim director of the Dyad Institute with the hope that she’ll talk Sarah into being cooperative about Kira providing bone marrow for Cosima’s treatment.

Delphine obediently goes to Sarah and Mrs. S to try and talk them into bringing Kira in. Apparently, Ethan Duncan won’t be able to come up with gene therapy that would work fast enough to save Cosima. They’re not fans of the idea, and the only reassurance Delphine can offer is that she thinks Rachel is as committed as anyone to finding this cure. And Cosima may die without it.

Today in “Fault in Our Stars” moments
Speaking of her, she’s not dead! Or unconscious. But she does have to wear oxygen tubes now. She has a quick video conference with Sarah and Beth to discuss what’s happening. I’m starting to wonder if they did so many web conferences this season to save Tatiana Maslany from having to film so many triple clone scenes. In real life, those conferences would have cut out repeatedly. Alison, Cosima and Sarah agree that bringing Kira into the Dyad is a bad idea, and Cosima apologizes for putting Sarah in the position she’s in. Alison uses the opportunity to casually inquire whether anyone is investigating Leekie’s demise. For once, Dyad’s massive corporate nature is working in her favor, because no one is looking for Leekie.

Alexis the nurse takes Helena on a tour of the Prolethean nursery, where her babies will one day spend time. Gracie is there, glaring at Helena per usual. She drops off a drink for her father, who is having a talk with creepy Mark. Apparently, creepy Mark is only 19, and is AWOL from the military. Then the pastor creepily hands his daughter off to Mark, as long as he’s willing to stand by her while she bears fruit. Gracie, girllll, things are about to get rough for you. Well, it does seem like she likes creepy Mark, so maybe she’ll be OK with that part.

Mrs. S knows a doctor who can perform the procedure on Kira safely outside the Dyad, but there’s still some risk. Felix doesn’t think they should do anything that puts Kira at risk, but Sarah stops him by saying, “My sister’s dying.” That must be weird for him to hear, since they’ve been each other’s only siblings for so long. Mrs. S says it’s not up to them. It’s up to Kira. Agree to disagree on that one, S. Pretty sure it’s Sarah’s decision, since she’s Kira’s mother.

Kira is clearly scared of the big needle aspect to donating bone marrow, but her concern for Auntie Cosima wins out and she says she’ll do it. Has she ever even met Auntie Cosima? Also, does she go to school anymore?

Back at the Dyad, Scott, Duncan and Rachel’s assistant (Mr. Funt? Good name) are trying to put together a computer to use to read Duncan’s floppy disc collection. Cosima wheels up with her oxygen tank. It’s a funny coincidence that this episode aired right when “The Fault in Our Stars” came out, which also features a young female character who needs to carry an oxygen tank with her. Suffice to say I’m feeling a lot of concern for fictional people’s health these days. They all share a cute nerd moment about creating a transcription key to decode Duncan’s genetic data. Well, Mr. Funt doesn’t seem that into it.

Vic does not make the best undercover agent
Donnie and Alison are interrupted in their digging by Vic stopping by for a visit. They immediately kick him out. He gives up and climbs into an anonymous black van parked nearby. Wonder who’s in there!

Helena listens as the pastor charms a room full of children, but is then alarmed when she sees nurse Alexis roughly chastise a little girl who talked to her. She responds by grabbing nurse Alexis by the neck and threatening her. Careful, Tatiana. Don’t hurt your body double. Gracie seems pretty impressed by the whole maneuver.

In what appears to be a random office room they’ve repurposed, Kira begins her medical procedure surrounded by her nearest and dearest: her mother, her uncle and Delphine. The procedure looks a bit more violent than expected, and Sarah finds herself wondering what kind of mother this makes her.

Vic comes back to peer in the garage windows to see what the Hendrixes are up to, only to get caught by a gun-waving Donnie. Alison should really consider getting a combination lock for her gun locker if Donnie is going to keep raiding it for potential murder weapons. He drags Vic inside and threatens him over the new grave they’ve dug until Vic confesses that Angela is waiting outside. Alison is very impressed by Donnie’s bluffing abilities, which turn out to include calling Vic “ese.” Donnie is still working on being a tough guy. Vic expresses his hatred of that garage. Understandably. He got shot in the hand with a nail gun the last time he was there.

Donnie follows him back out to the van and finds poor Angie inside, whom he tells not to come anywhere near his house again, pointing out what’s happened to the other cops who got involved. Then he takes a picture of them for evidence that they’ve been harassing him, and strides proudly back inside. Strong work rehabilitating the Donnie character, “Orphan Black.” And kudos to Kristian Bruun, who always does such great, funny work with him, even though that usually means looking like an idiot in tighty whities.

Men in authority continue to not have anyone’s best interests at heart on this show
The pastor goes through the same medical procedure he did with Helena, except this time it’s for his own daughter, who then joins Helena on a pair of twin beds. Helena assumes that Mark is the father, and is horrified to learn that Gracie has in fact been forced to carry Helena’s embryos. Just another male authority figure betraying Helena.

Duncan explains to Cosima that the infertility in the clones is caused by a genetic instruction that keeps the endometrium constantly degrading so that no embryos can implant. He and Susan didn’t anticipate that it would cause other health issues, but with his decoded data, he’s ready to fix his mistakes.

Marion stops by to check in on what Rachel is doing and drop some casual shade about Sarah’s ability to outsmart everyone. Somehow, Rachel looks younger in this scene. Not that Marion looks old, by any means, but with the height difference and Rachel’s hatred of the Sarah topic, she suddenly seems very young. Next we learn that Rachel apparently has a special fancy viewing room set up where she can enjoy a martini, watch old family videos, and … experience emotions? It’s sad and disturbing.

Delphine swings by her new office, where Rachel has accidentally left open a file indicating that Benjamin, Mrs. S’s old friend, has been turned. If you hadn’t called shenanigans after watching Rachel put on a Sarah-esque hoodie in the last scene, that particular moment might have been a warning.

Helena, meanwhile, has decided her little stay at Camp Prolethean is over. Gracie decides to go with her, but they’re interrupted by Pastor Henrik and a large gun. Helena, never one to get nervous around a firearm, tells him she’s not afraid, and he hits her in the head with a gun and locks Gracie up. Mark comes in at the end of this, and after a moment of indecision, tells Henrik off and starts to unlock the door. Henrik is distracted from stopping him by Helena leaping on his back. Because Helena is never down and out when you think she is.

Donnie and Alison finish repaving their garage over the dead guy Donnie murdered and have triumphant freezer sex together. I tell you, at the beginning of this season, I would not have predicted that moment between the two of them.

Helena has, of course, completed her defeat of the much larger armed man who was threatening her, and tied him to his own exam table. She gives Pastor Henrik a little taste of his own medicine, then burns the house down around him and runs off with her embryos in tow. Finally! That guy had some Helena treatment coming.

Delphine finally makes her biggest move to be in Clone Club by warning Sarah of Benjamin’s apparent defection, but it’s all a trap: Rachel uses Sarah’s distraction to go into the hospital, pretending to be Sarah, knock Felix out and kidnap Kira. Someone was eventually going to commit some clone shenanigans against Sarah. The comeuppance is even mimicked in Felix getting drugged, just as he drugged Vic during some clone shenanigans a few episodes ago.

Kira wakes up after her surgery in a perfectly pristine pink-themed room. Rachel is there waiting, and ready to explain that she may even come to like living at the Dyad. Yeah, she’ll like it just as much as Rachel does, probably.

Grade: B+ Satisfactory Helena revenge on the Proletheans, but a little too long coming.

Follow Lisa Weidenfeld on Twitter at @LisaWeidenfeld.



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