The Word: Simon Cowell won’t be changing any diapers

Simon Cowell may be a father, but diaper duty is not on his list of chores.
Simon Cowell may be a father, but diaper duty is not on his list of chores.

Simon Cowell is ready to embrace fatherhood, but only on his own terms. International entertainment moguls, it seems, do not touch baby poo.

“I’m not doing that, 100% absolutely not going near that,” he told BBC Breakfast, regarding his progeny’s dirty diapers. He added that he would delegate the task to someone else — and that he planned to hand off late night feedings to a nanny as well.

Meh, I feel like all rich people do that. At least he’s honest. But I’m not sure he knows what he’s giving up here — namely, the chance to roar “I changed your diapers!” at his progeny during arguments later in life. “I hired the nanny who changed your diapers!” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

Simon Cowell spoke publicly for the first time recently about the child he’s expecting with Lauren Silverman, who’s in the process of divorcing Cowell’s former best friend.

“I’m very proud to be a dad,” he told the BBC.

He added, “It’s something I hadn’t thought of before, but now I know I feel good about it. … She’s a very special girl.”

That’s quite an about-face from the guy who once said in 2009, “God, no, I couldn’t have children. If I had them here drawing on the walls I’d go nuts. You’ve got to be up at a certain time. Got to listen when all you want to do is sit in a corner thinking.”


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