One evening three months ago, years of Pratt Institute students’ work went up in flames.

Dozens of the design school’s students lost artwork in an enormous fire that roared through the school’s main building Feb. 15.

Lost in the ashes were 44 seniors’ works. Pieces from before and after the fire will be shown in a Park Avenue exhibit that debuts Thursday.

Their exhibit, Flameproof, shows 100 artworks of drawing and painting students.

The show was assisted by Larry Gagosian, an art dealer who helped secure exhibition space. He was inspired by the student’s need to move forward after experiencing loss from fire himself, he said.

Many donated supplies or gift cards so the students could buy new materials, as well as tickets to the Frieze Art Fair.

Usually, students organize individual shows, but this year, they decided on a special group exhibition.

Brooklynite Milo Wissig, 25, lost all his work from this school year and some from sophomore and junior year. All told, about 20 pieces were destroyed, he said.

On campus, the top of the building he had worked in was destroyed.

“We were told that anything on that side was gone,” he told Metro.

He began again.

Knowing he would have to move the pieces through temporary work spaces, he went from crafting large paintings on canvas to smaller pieces on panels.

He worked as fast as he could in all his waking moments, once doing four paintings in a week and a half, he said.

Ultimately, he quit an internship so he would have the time to replace his body of work.

“It was too much work,” he said.

Student Susan Luss said at first, she was not sure how to move forward.

“I was finally able to focus my energies on collecting materials for future works, even if I did not know what they would be,” she said. “That activity was fundamental to helping me make new work.”

Pratt’s president, Thomas Schutte, said having the exhibition in a Park Avenue gallery space was “a dream come true for many of our students.”

The exhibition, which is free, will be at 375 Park Avenue Thursday through May 14 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., except May 14, when it closes at 5 p.m.

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Following a sting dubbed Operation to Catch a Thief, Kings County attorneys Monday indicted a Brooklyn man accused of stealing valuable works of art.

Prosecutors say Joselito Vega, 42, stole the paintings from a house he was hired to work on as a painter in March 2011. He was assigned through his employer to the Schulhof Estate in Kings Point, a well-known repository of fine arts.

About a year later, when the Schulhof Estate performed an inventory, three paintings had gone missing: “Le Fauteuil II (the Armchair II)” by Jean DuBuffet, valued at $50,000, “Tuftonboro” by Frank Stella and “Flower” by Norman Lewis.

Vega allegedly sold the DuBuffet painting through an Oakland gallery, to a buyer in Monaco, using the name of his ex-sister-in-law. He then cashed the check in her name, after having her open a new bank account.

In May 2012, investigators set up a sting operation at the Schulhof Estate with hidden cameras. Vega was hired again to work on the house. This time, prosecutors say he was caught on tape stealing three more artworks: a Pablo Picasso etching, “Three Graces II,” a “Presence de Rythmes” by Yaacov Agam and another Jean Dubuffet work called “Chien.”

He faces multiple charges of grand larceny and identity theft, for which he can serve as many as 26 years in prison if convicted.

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Here’s your millionth reminder to quit smoking: A smoker’s lung on display at Body Worlds: Pulse.
© Gunther von Hagens, Institute for Plastination, Heidelberg, Germany, www.bodyworlds.com.

Become a culture vulture by soaking up some of the latest city offerings.

Whales: Giants of the Deep
Through Jan. 5
American Museum of Natural History
200 Central Park West
212-769-5100
If the ginormous blue whale hanging in the museum’s Hall of Ocean Life isn’t enough for you, hit this new exhibition — open since March — to learn all about the massive mammals that inhabit our oceans. Did you know, for example, that whales once had feet and existed on land? Discover more rich history by examining the two sperm whale skeletons (one nearing 60 feet long!) that hang in the center of the room, listening to real whale sounds and letting kiddies jump inside a model blue whale’s heart (about the size of a small car). Don’t leave without checking out the conservation efforts to save these beautiful behemoths.

Body Worlds: Pulse
Discovery Times Square
226 W. 44th St.
866-987-9692
Though similar to that other NYC cadaver roundup, “Bodies: The Exhibition,” this look at human life at its most basic level comes with a warning label — our bodies won’t perform at their best if we continue harming them. The long-term effects of smoking, obesity, stress and alcohol are put under a microscope at this display in creative ways, such as a side-by-side comparison of a healthy lung and a smoker’s lung, and a cross-section of an obese person, where the layers of fat are clearly visible. One especially interesting portion is a photo essay of families all of the world pictured with their groceries for the week. Guess which country’s table was overflowing with soda and pizza? Not Mexico or India, that’s for sure. Before leaving, get a reminder on what really matters in life by watching a TED Talk from Ric Elias, a passenger on the “Miracle on the Hudson Plane,” and broadcast your own “Before I die, I want to…” aspirations on a projector for other passersby to see.

Don’t miss
Snug Harbor’s Harbor in Bloom Festival
May 4-5
Snug Harbor Cultural Center and Botanical Garden
1000 Richmond Terrace, Staten Island
718-42-3504
Staten Island’s horticultural hot spot will give away trees in partnership with the New York Restoration Project and the MillionTreesNYC initiative on Saturday from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Throughout the afternoon, there will also be an orchid sale, live music, workshops on composting and hourly guided garden tours. If you can’t make it on Saturday, the sales continue on Sunday.

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This event is part of the River to River Festival

Recently, water has played a prominent role in the political and cultural dialogue of New York City. Though the city has flooded many times over the centuries, the recent tumult of Hurricane Sandy has elicited hard questions about its very nature. What will the long-term effects of environmental change mean for the city and its infrastructure? What will New York City’s relationship to water become?

The artists in Fluid: Construct – David Baskin, Jason Head, Wyatt Nash, and Emily Sartor –will explore the interconnections of New York City’s relationship with water. Their work reveals the complex nature of fundamental relationships, utilizing color and scale to make objects that keenly observe and comment on our ever-changing urban landscape.

This exhibit takes place weekdays June 15-July 14 from 8 a.m. – 6 p.m. at the One Liberty Plaza Lobby.

For further information click here

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GOING HORIZONTAL: SEVEN ARTISTS TURN PAINTING ON ITS SIDE  FIRST HORIZONTALIST EXHIBITION OPENS AT STUDIO VENDOME, 330 SPRING STREET, APRIL 25-JUNE 2 New York: Going Horizontal: Turning Painting On Its Side, the first exhibition featuring the work of a seven artists known as The Horizontalists will open at Studio Vendome at The Philip Johnson Urban Glass House, 330 Spring Street (between Washington and Greenwich Streets) in SoHo on April 25th through June 2nd. This exhibition is mounted by ArtEmergence.com, an art-consulting agency for emerging artists, in collaboration with RediscoveredMasters.com. An open house reception will be held on Saturday, May 11th at Studio Vendome, at which time the artists will be present to discuss their work.  The exhibition will then open in East Hampton, Long Island at Lawrence Fine Arts, at  37 Newtown Lane, from June 6th to June 30th.

The Horizontalists distinguish themselves as a group that pours, paints, drips, scrapes, and abrades pigments on horizontal surfaces as they bear down from above onto floors or tables rather than on easels or walls.  They recall that seminal Horizontalist, Jackson Pollock, who attacked the ground with his drip-action technique in the village of Springs out on Long Island’s East end.

EXHIBITION INFORMATION:

Going Horizontal: Turning Painting On Its Side opens April 25 to June 2 at Studio Vendome, at the Philip Johnson Urban Glass House, 330 Spring Street (between Washington and Greenwich Streets) in SoHo. Gallery hours are: Noon to 6:00 P.M., Thursday through Saturday and by appointment only. The open house reception is on Saturday, May 11.

From June 6 to June 30, the exhibition moves to Lawrence Fine Art, 37 Newtown Lane, in East Hampton, Long Island. Gallery hours are: Monday through Friday, Noon to 8:30 P.M. and 11 A.M. to 8:30 P.M. on Saturday and Sunday.

Event Date (1)  :  April 25th – June 2

Event Venue :  Studio Vendome

Event Time : 12 PM – 6 PM

Event Date (2) : June 6 to June 30

Event Venue : Lawrence Fine Art

Event Time :Monday – Friday from 12 PM – 8:30 P.M and

Saturday and Sunday from 11 A.M. to 8:30 P.M

For tickets click here

For further information click here

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Visitors at the Museum of Modern Art were in for a surprise Saturday when they stumbled upon actress Tilda Swinton sleeping in a glass box as part of an art installation.

The unannounced appearance was part of a performance piece called “The Maybe,” which debuted in 1995 in London. Gothamist reports that the Oscar-winner had been in talks with MoMA for the past seven years to bring it back.

Swinton will appear several more times throughout the year, but even museum staff members don’t know when.

“Those who find it chance upon it for themselves, live and in real — shared — time,” the museum said in a statement. “Now we see it, now we don’t.”

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The line between décor and art often blurs. And within that margin sits Dream House. This home décor startup launched this month via an exhibition at Boston University’s College of Fine Arts, which included Dream House co-founder Molly Rosner’s paintings, photographs and small sculptures. Cleverly, the BU senior and Dream House partner Julie Jackson turned the senior showcase into Dream House’s launch. So in addition to artifacts, the exhibit included inventory.

“We wanted to see if people would be interested,” says Jackson. “Rather than do a focus group, we saw what the reaction was at an exhibition. It was great; lots of people put in orders.”

Jackson says Rosner’s  work can cater to both big spenders and students on a budget.

“Dream House is about making art accessible to people our age with prints of Molly’s work,” she says. “But we also want to sell the more expensive original art as well. That might appeal to a different demographic outside of college. But whoever is buying, it’s wall art, but personal.”

Jackson, a business student, says Dream House’s prints, photographs and original art will expand into other originally designed household goods and accessories. Their design and business inspiration is mass-produced art master Andy Warhol.

“It’s pop art and vintage glamour. Molly’s work is very straightforward. It’s meant to put a smile on your face.”

The pair got serious about Dream House last October and word soon spread via what was also once just a Massachusetts campus start-up, Facebook. This move brought in fellow B.U. students as their first customers.
Buzz at B.U. isn’t their business plan, though.

“It would be great to some day have a physical space, or sell in other stores,” says Jackson, “or show at other galleries. We invited some gallery owners to the exhibit and got a great response. That proved to us that we have a market beyond students and people our age.”

As for the response, Jackson says it has been almost prohibitively good.

“The response has been so overwhelming that we haven’t had time to get our website up, but we will. We need to go beyond social media and school to be a real business,” says Jackson. “This is what we hope will be an empire.”

Check out Dream House on Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

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Parents looking to create a unique nest for their babies are turning in droves to the countless shops on Etsy that focus on custom nursery decor and artwork.

“I had looked previously on other traditional sites, but I liked the idea of getting something that was a bit less mainstream,” says Traci Tasso, a New York mom who purchased art on Etsy for her daughter’s nursery.

The crafting website has been around for about seven years, but lately more specialists on the site are churning out crafts for little ones. From quilts to baby bumpers, Etsy is chock full of items that can be customized by gender, theme and color scheme frequently at a much lower price than from a local boutique.

Moms and dads can best their neighbors’ nurseries by having crib skirts monogrammed, artwork created to reflect their boy’s favorite baseball teams and canvases painted to perfectly match bedding.

“It’s the height of customization because you can get pretty much anything you want,” says Jen Snyder, a Michigan mom who sells digital prints at Area Fare Kids on Etsy.

The conversation element of Etsy allows artists and buyers to message back and forth and customize orders.

Many of the artists are moms-turned-artists who garner inspiration from their own little ones.

“I couldn’t find anything that I loved in the stores, and since I have always enjoyed drawing and painting I decided to create something for above [my son’s] crib,” says Stephanie Brandt of Philadelphia, whose store on Etsy is called Just Bunch. “I had enjoyed making the artwork so much, and had received so many compliments on it, that I decided to create designs and put them for sale.”

Beyond 128

Two Sudbury moms have started a baby company called Twelve Little Laces, customizing arrival gift baskets, birthday party treats and other personalized items. Megan Bowhers and Laura Hoff claim Etsy is a great way to market their company beyond Rte. 128. Twelve Little Laces can be found on Etsy or at www.twelvelittlelaces.com

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Wiley is a pickup artist. For the latest chapter of his “World Stage” series on display at the Jewish Museum, he found muses on the streets of Jerusalem, Tel Aviv and Lod, Israel. His signature — posing men of color in the tradition of  classic European masterworks — empowers the marginalized within Diaspora communities. This formula works well in Israel, a land of both promise and conflict where minorities — Ethiopian Jews who emigrated en masse in the 1980s and ’90s and Israeli-born Arabs comprising 20 percent of the population — continue to face prejudice. Wiley also uses his medium to examine the globalization of black American culture, particularly hip-hop, which resonates in these groups abroad because of what it represents: defiance, sovereignty, a voice.

For the painter and his 14 models, it’s not only power that has become accessible, but the region’s rich history, too. A latticework of floral motifs and Judaic iconography — including mystical creatures, zodiac symbols, columns and upside-down hands — sweep in and around the men’s bodies, integrating the old and new, the foreground and background. Wiley calls this “the friction between beginning, middle and end.” Beautifully and meticulously curated, the museum juxtaposes Wiley’s contemporary works with artifacts from its own collection. They are preserved under glass cases opposite the hanging paintings, wherein they see a new life, context and audience.

While the exhibit’s centerpiece is a portrait of Beta-Israeli Alios Itzhak, the highlight of the show is a row of four smaller, intimate likenesses.

Among the first three who face you straight on  is rapper Kalkidan Mashasha, also the most striking. With a self-assured posture but gentle gaze he proudly flaunts the Ethiopian flag patched to his sleeve. In the fourth painting, Mukat Brhan — pierced, dreadlocked, a YouTube logo printed on his T-shirt — casts his gaze not ahead, but aloft. Entrenched in his roots — the bright green vines and Hebrew texts weaving behind him — this Gen Nexter looks to the future. Maybe he’s hopeful, like Wiley himself, that someday, regardless of skin color, ethnicity or religion, we can all find common ground.

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Performance art takes center stage
“This biennial has a rededication to performance,” says Sanders, who points out the whole fourth floor of the Whitney is currently transformed to be a “big performance venue.” He continues: “We’re trying to do a more expanded view of the arts and see how it all fits into the context of contemporary art.” Some highlights? This year’s selections for dance, theater and music, as well as a “really ambitious cinema series,” are inclusions that art lovers might find strikingly different from other biennials.

Not just for young people anymore
Yes, the biennial skews younger in both artists and audiences (especially those art lovers who flock there Friday nights when admittance is free) but Sussman claims two of their most buzzworthy artists are Werner Herzog, who contributes “Hearsay of the Soul,” a five-screen digital projection, and the sculptor Robert Gober. “Both of those artists are over 50,” says Sussman. Sanders calls the show multigenerational. “We’re definitely not skewed as young as past biennials,”?he says. “Our show has a more eclectic range of known and unknown artists — many later in their careers.”

If you’re going to see one exhibit this year, make it this one
“The biennial is a really wonderful institution because it’s a chance to see a big statement of what art is at the moment,”?says Sanders. “You can put yourself in a place where you can think about what contemporary art is.” But it’s not only a snapshot of the art world, says Sussman: “It’s a very important thing for New York City every two years.”

Think about a membership
“Crowds have really been huge and people are buying memberships, which is great  because that means they can come unlimited times,” says Sussman. “The biennial is not a fixed exhibit. It really changes and fluctuates over time, so in order to get in everything the biennial has to offer, come more than once.”

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That’s exactly what a lawyer/photographer named Kristin wondered, according to Business Insider. She was a big fan of Pinterest, a popular website that provides an interactive experience for its users by allowing them to “pin” things they like, sharing their interests with friends.

Kristen decided to do a little research and found a rude wake-up call in Pinterest’s Terms of Use. Turns out, the website’s members must have explicit permission from an image’s owner before sharing it. However, the site encourages its users to re-pin community photos.

Federal copyright laws state that copyrighted work can be shared without consent by the owner if someone is criticizing it, commenting on it, reporting on it, teaching about it, or conducting research — re-pinning doesn’t count as any of those.

Also, Pinterest users should be aware that if their pinning ways to come under fire by angry photographers or artists, they hold sole responsibility — not the site, according to this bit from its Terms of Use. The user would even be responsible for any charges against Pinterest.

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold Cold Brew Labs, its officers, directors, employees and agents, harmless from and against any claims, liabilities, damages, losses, and expenses, including, without limitation, reasonable legal and accounting fees, arising out of or in any way connected with (i) your access to or use of the Site, Application, Services or Site Content, (ii) your Member Content, or (iii) your violation of these Terms

While you think you might be doing an artist or photographer a favor by sharing his or her work, and even giving them credit for it, Kristen concluded that the decision is not for a Pinterst user to make, but for the work’s owner.

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Here’s a round up of some of the most unique Google street views from the collection via The Guardian. What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen on Google street view?

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Choe was asked by Facebook mogul and notorious bad boy Sean Parker in 2005 to decorate the company’s Palo Alto office with erotic murals. Choe was given a choice in his payment: Cash or Facebook stock. At the time, he found the social network “ridiculous and pointless,” but he picked the stock anyway, likely worth only about 0.1 to 0.25 percent of the company. After yesterday’s IPO, it’s now valued at about $200 million, according to The New York Times.

So what do these multimillion dollar murals look like? Gawker published the account of a student journalist who accompanied Choe to the Facebook office the day he made his masterpiece. Behold:

Within this short 20-minute visit, Parker encouraged him to go crazy and draw as many giant “cocks” as Choe wanted. I saw the artist slap on a smile and slip into David Choe persona, immediately head downstairs, and tag up a woman on all fours in about two minutes to the delight and amusement of Parker and his friend.

According to the NYT, that 20 minute visit with a few cans of spray paint could prove more valuable than the work by famed artist Damien Hirst that sold for a record-breaking $200.7 million in 2008 at a Sotheby’s auction.

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The Lincoln Art Exchange, launched this month at the Lincoln Medical and Mental Health Center, offers struggling New York artists without health insurance a barter system — $40 in health care credits for every hour spent creating art.

For example, if a dancer’s twisted knee lands her an overnight hospital stay, 125 dancing hours could pay off a $5,000 bill — once she’s back on her feet, of course. 

Most artists, however, simply need a doctor’s visit. Under low-income health programs, the cost for that can be as low as $15 for some.

Although many artists qualify for reduced-cost health care, through the new program they can also barter to pay with skills, not cash.

Just this week, as many as 50 interested artists called to inquire about the program, including a doodle artist and a playwright, said Colette Barrow, at the New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation.

To help pay for their care, artists can facepaint for hospitalized children, read poetry or even lead yoga sessions for hospital staff, she said.

Many of these artists are juggling part-time jobs, Barrow said, or out of work following the end of a production. Some take their chances instead of monthly payments.

A similar program at Woodhull Medical Center in Brooklyn has attracted 400 artists since opening in 2005.

A City Council hearing today will discuss artists’ access to health insurance.

How does it work? 

Anyone uninsured who is making a living through creative means is eligible, from dancers to poets to musicians, hospital officials said. The money can be used toward a wide range of services like doctor visits, lab tests or emergency care.

“I’ve gotten phone calls from the whole gamut, from a clown to a photographer to more singers, actors,” HHC’s Colette Barrow said.

Follow Alison Bowen on Twitter @alisonatmetro

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Visit in person
“Go and see as many exhibitions as possible,” he adds. “Or go and visit all the auction previews just to have an overall view and see what there is. And when there are the art fairs, like the Armory Art Fair in New York, go.”

Think long-term
“Buy a work that does not only have initial strong appeal but will be great in the long run. I think the good thing is first to go out and not make any acquisitions — just make mental acquisitions. Work out what it is you personally love, and once you’ve done that, then it’s better to leap in the water and do your first purchases.”

Research prices
“Once you have identified what appeals to you personally, then you can do a bit of homework on pricing,” he says. “For instance, you can go on certain websites that give you the price obtained by any artwork at public auctions, so you can see what ballpark figures you may have to spend to buy what you love. There is a website called Artnet.com, and there you can type in any artist and see, for instance, the top hundred most expensive works ever sold by that artist, with images and details of when and where they were sold.”

Try haggling
“You can negotiate,” de Pury says, “and you can make an offer on a work, saying that that is what you’re prepared to pay.”

Search on the cheap
“You can go to the flea market [and] make great finds,” de Pury says. “It requires time but it’s a fun thing to do. I myself enjoy going to the flea market or to eBay. If you want to focus on the great masters and don’t want to pay the kind of prices you may have pay for them, you can collect editions, which are [for example] prints, lithographs or etchings. There is a very active market for those.”

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Marni Kotak, a performance artist who lives in Brooklyn, is in her last trimester and due to give birth in the next five weeks… and when she does, it will be in front of an audience at Microscope Gallery in Bushwick.

Kotak will be in the “birthing room,” furnished with her grandmother’s bed and rocking chair, until she goes into labor and “The Birth of Baby X” begins. At that point, her midwife, doula and husband will be present to share this intimate moment.. as well as anyone else who feels like watching.

“I hope that people will see that human life itself is the most profound work of art, and that therefore giving birth, the greatest expression of life, is the highest form of art,” she told the NY Post.

There is more to this installation than just the birth– according to Microscope Gallery’s website, “remnants from the final days of pregnancy and the birth will be added to the exhibition as it progresses.”

To be honest, we don’t even want to know what that means.

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The title gives the game away: form is the essence of time-based art, and Byrne, an alum of the Paul Taylor Dance Company, has little sense of how to manage the formal demands of an hour-long show, let alone transcend them.

If you really want to experience LaChapelle’s artwork, go to the lobby of the Lever House, where Byrne’s dancers performed with and around an installation of his pieces until the building management cancelled the shows last month. Enormous paper chains printed with his trademark nudes, a huge collage and window circles made of photographic stickers of the same nudes surrounded six performers; the performance was much more interesting than the one in the theater.

The post Act of love struggles on an East Village stage appeared first on Metro.us.

Ed Norton:
I got turned on to theater very early. When I was very young, I had a theater  teacher who was hugely inspirational to me — actually I still talk and get notes from them. I was 5 or 6 years old when I was first on stage. I didn’t know [that I wanted to be an actor] for a long, long time, but I was always a fan.

Taraji P. Henson:
I would entertain my family and they would egg me on. They would sit on the sofa and say, “Go TJ!” And I could do anything: Cheer, a poem, recite lines from a movie that we had just seen. They were my audience.

Melissa George:
I was an artistic roller-skating champion. Wide skates. Four wheels. Costumes. I competed around the world. That was my passion. When I was four, I got a pair of skates for Christmas. I loved the fact that I had all these wheels under my feet and I could do all these tricks. I had routines. I was doing axels, salchows and double jumps. I was very proud of all the routines.

Russell Simmons:
I think music. Dance. I produced records when I was a kid. Before that, I liked to paint a lot.

Soledad O’Brien:
It is a little-known fact, but I was quite a accomplished flautist. I played flute and piccolo in the marching band from fourth grade until I graduated from high school. I was inspired to play the flute because I have a lot of brothers and sisters, and they all played the piano. I didn’t want to play the piano. I can still play “Bolero.”

— With additional reporting by Jeryl Brunner

For more gossip news visit Dorothy Robinson’s Word blog. Follow her on Twitter @DorothyatMetro.

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Her collection of work, “Naked City Spleen,” includes familiar sites like the Williamsburg Bridge, the Old Croton Aqueduct in the Bronx, Arthur Kill Ship Graveyard in Staten Island and the Revere Sugar Factory in Red Hook.

For five years, she has meticulously researched New York’s history and explored its unseen infrastructure. She disrobes and caresses the walls with her body at each location.

“The city has an anatomy and a psyche as complex as that of any human being,” said Kim.

The massive framework of New York’s abandoned subway stations, tunnels, sewers, catacombs, factories, hospitals and shipyards are the city’s “intestines and veins,” she explains.

She inserts her naked body into the “organism” of the metropolis, producing ethereal landscapes that explore the interaction of classic femininity and twenty-first century urbane.

“I have always been fascinated by living beings reclaiming the urban ruins,” said Kim.

“Envisioning imaginary beings that could dwell in these spaces, I began to occupy them myself.”

Her artwork has been heralded internationally, though she has gotten into more than a few scrapes with local law enforcement, she says.

She’s been chased by police officers, encountered a violent homeless man in an abandoned Hell’s Kitchen tunnel, and eluded NYPD helicopters for the sake of her art.

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Suspect Susan Burns told police that the reason for yesterday’s assault, in which she grabbed Gauguin’s "Two Tahitian Women" and started punching it, was because the painting was "very homosexual."  She explained further: "I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned … I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you."

(The painting was unharmed in the attack.)

OK, so obviously this woman is somewhat mentally-ill, and it’s really not nice to go around pointing and laughing at her. Instead, we’re going to try to help the next probably-crazy person. Instead of saying you’re from the CIA, here are some better excuses from when you’re caught defacing artwork:

»"Don’t worry, I’m a freelance art-restorer. I’m just retouching this painting by hand. It’s a very complicated process."

»"The painting had a weird bulge on it. I was just punching it to make it flat again."

»"I saw the painting’s eyes move. A criminal must be hiding out behind it!"

»"I work for the gallery. I’ve been instructed to cut down our supply of paintings to increase the value of the ones that remain."

»"I’m an art expert. This painting is a forgery! (I was just punching it because forgery makes me so angry!)"

»"As a descendant of [ARTIST], this painting is my birthright, and I can do with it what I wish!"

»"I was just taking the painting down because this is actually my frame, and I kind of need it back? Yeah, I’m friends with the museum, so I lent it to them because I had a spare frame, but now I’ve got something to put in it? It’s a long story."

Follow Nate Jones on Twitter at @kn8.

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Curator Tara Mathison says of the artists selected, “They all share a common trait of having had other areas of the city affect them in powerful ways, but Queens was still a mysterious place to them.” Carl Gambrell, a Brooklyn artist participating in the March session along with his partner Rob Kimmel, agreed. “Most parts of Queens are still very foreign to us so it’s been a real challenge. What makes this project interesting is trying to find the everyday elements of a neighborhood and turn them into something that is visually compelling.”

Gambrell and Kimmel are regularly exploring different neighborhoods in the borough, from Flushing to Bayside to Jamaica, and documenting them with Polaroid cameras. (Their project is sponsored by Dutch company the Impossible Project, the only remaining manufacturer of instant film for Polaroid cameras.)  Ultimately their project will reside both online and in the gallery space, existing as a unique and unconventional map of the journey through Queens they’ve taken. “Maps can sometimes feel overwhelming. It’s been great to walk the streets and demystify some areas of the city you don’t normally see,” said Gambrell.

The artists participating in the program are given a studio space within the gallery, and will make their process open to the public at various points of their residencies.  (The entire exhibition culminates with an opening reception on May 5.) “We want both the viewer and artists to understand that they are there to experience something different than just walking to their usual studio space,” said Mathison.

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“We are expecting more than 350 exhibitors this year — our exhibitor base comprises artists from 30 countries, including 25-30 leading artists from China,” he says. Many artists from China’s two most thriving art communities — the avant-garde Beijing 798 Art District and the Songzhuang Art District — will be featured along with artists from Shanghai and Shandong with famous Chinese artist, XU JIE, making her U.S. debut.

“Chinese artists want to sell to American galleries and collectors and raise awareness of the Chinese culture,” says Smith. “Many Chinese artists exhibited in our last show were outstanding.”

Smith is definitely connecting the two cultures, even going as far as visiting the Far East. “I visited Beijing last October and met with the former Cultural Minister of China. We agreed to cooperate in bringing quality Chinese works here and they agreed to assist us in producing shows in multiple Chinese cities,” he says. “The Chinese population is very interested in collecting Western culture — our first show in Bejing is scheduled for fall 2012.”

Seminars: Learn more for free

This year, Artexpo will feature 25 free art seminars. Smith says it’s a great way for attendees to learn about the changes in the market and prepare gallery owners, artists and collectors for what’s ahead. “What does the landscape of today’s social media mean to artists, galleries and collectors? How has the Internet changed the way art is sold?  What does the future look like?” asks Smith. Find the answers to these big questions and browse the com­plete list of classes at www.artexponewyork.com.

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“One year ago, we were all working at home in our pajamas,” says Julia Wertz, who last year published the funny and endearing memoir, “Drinking at the Movies.” They’ll be celebrating their one-year anniversary with a group reading and slideshow on Saturday as part of the Fireside Follies series at Brooklyn Fireproof in Bushwick.

Sharing a studio space became a way to combat the loneliness that goes hand-in-hand with being a solo artist. “There were days when I didn’t even leave the house. There was no boundary between work life and home life,” says Sarah Glidden, author of the critically acclaimed, “How to Understand Israel in 60 Days or Less,” which depicts her struggle to come to terms with the history and politics of Israel.

But in this white-walled room — complete with a crush wall of pictures ranging from Axl Rose to Jason Schwartzman — they’ve created a community, one that benefits them creatively. “I have great respect for everyone here and the work that they do.  Being around them gives me inspiration,” says Lisa Hanawalt, creator of the sexy, absurdist “I Want You” comic books.  

As for the all-female roster — which also includes Karen Sneider, Domitille Collardey and Kate Beaton — the studio-mates are hesitant to claim it was deliberate, but appreciate the uniqueness of the environment. Meredith Gran, who maintains OctopusPie.com, says, “We encounter so many men in every comics-related event. The high concentration of women is a rare thing.”  

“I feel like it skews my view of the comics world, because people are always talking about it being a boys’ club, and I’m like, ‘What?’” laughs Glidden. “‘Everybody who does comics is female. What are you talking about?’”

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Imagine 15 unique PB creations, including the Pregnant Lady (peanut butter with pickles) as well as Seinfeld’s favorite and namesake, Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedy Special (a toasted bagel schmeared with PB, a honey drizzle and cinnamon). So when the restaurant’s founder, Lee Zalben, was challenged to devise a new peanut-butter sandwich for every day of the year, he jumped at the opportunity. What resulted were work-of-art sandwiches like “PB&I Do” — a seven-tiered wedding cake with butter-cream frosting — and “Nut n’ Honey in the City,” an homage to New York with vertical honeycombs fashioned to resemble the skyline.

Much deserving of preservation, they were photographed by acclaimed food photographer Theresa Raffetto and styled by Patty White. This week, some of those whimsical images are on display at their very own exhibit the Nutropolitan Museum of Art. Each family attending the show receives a free jar of the nutty stuff.

And better yet, a second jar will be donated to the Food Bank For New York City in their honor. “Peanut butter is a beloved sandwich,” says PB pooh-bah Zalben, who should now be anointed the Warhol of peanut butter.  

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