A beautiful spring morning in Ditmars Park in Astoria turned ugly last Tuesday when 54-year-old Zbigniew Pawlowski reportedly armed his two children with two illegally owned BB guns and set them loose in a busy playground.

He first fired a couple of shots at a nearby tree, then handed the weapons to his 5-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son, according to an account from the Queens district attorney’s office.

The city’s Administrative Code requires permits for air rifles or pistols like BB guns. There were no injuries as a result of this incident, but Pawlowski was arraigned on several charges, including resisting arrest and endangering the welfare of a child, the New York Times reported.

The story was first written about on the Queens Mamas blog, and Queens Councilman Peter Vallone linked to the story on his Facebook page, asking constituents to speak up if they recognized the man in a blurry cell phone photo.

“It’s unfortunate this incident escalated,” Vallone said of Pawlowski’s arrest and the ensuing court case. “The gun was extremely realistic which makes it illegal, but instead of turning himself in and getting a wrist slap, he resisted arrest.”

The Queens Mamas story, which has since been removed, complained of a delay in response by the police, and an absence of police near the park generally.

“Everyone wants more cops in the neighborhood, it’s my top priority,” Vallone said, and advised voters “to look at candidates’ positions on more cops in the upcoming elections.

Follow Danielle Tcholakian on Twitter @danielleiat

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Two children in Long Island were found drowned in a swimming pool after they went missing Sunday afternoon.

Sharon Knowles, 7, and her brother Ralph Knowles, 5, drowned in a neighbor’s pool in Central Islip after they apparently climbed over a fence and got into the neighbor’s backyard, the New York Post reports.

The mother called police around 3:30 p.m. because she couldn’t find her children. The brother and sister were found fully clothed and lifeless in the pool about 4 p.m.

The neighbor was cited for improper fencing, the Post reports.

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Queens kids celebrated getting new iPads today to study different types of science.

OTG, a company that manages airport restaurants, donated 50 of the iPads to the students to study science, technology, engineering and math.

They will use the tablets for projects like robotics, clay animation and developing video games.

The kids, who are part of the South Queens Boys and Girls Club, will also learn how to create apps.

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Allowing children to spend hours each day watching TV or playing computer games does not make them badly behaved, according to a new study.

Instead, said the authors of a report that studied 11,000 children aged 4-11, bad behavior is more likely caused by bad parenting.

The Medical Research Council findings contradicted advice issued by American health professionals that says children should be limited to two hours of watching non-violent TV programs per day – or behavioral problems could result.

The MRC study said that while long hours of watching TV could lead to very limited behavior issues in children at age seven, the effect was minimal.

Children who spent hours playing computer games showed no increase in behavioral issues at all.

Dr. Alison Parkes, of the MRC said: “Our work suggests that limiting the amount of time children spend in front of the TV is, in itself, unlikely to improve psychosocial adjustment.”

She added that intervention to improve family dynamics – such as improving parenting skills – would have a more marked effect on children’s behavior.

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Texas children participate in exercises at the Jump Rope For Heart event at Moss Haven Elementary School.
Credit: Getty Images

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Throughout its history, the National Rifle Association has led efforts to promote safety and responsible gun ownership.  Keeping our children and society safe remains our top priority.

The NRA will continue to focus on keeping our children safe and securing our schools, fixing our broken mental health system, and prosecuting violent criminals to the fullest extent of the law.  We look forward to working with Congress on a bi-partisan basis to find real solutions to protecting America’s most valuable asset – our children.

Attacking firearms and ignoring children is not a solution to the crisis we face as a nation.  Only honest, law-abiding gun owners will be affected and our children will remain vulnerable to the inevitability of more tragedy.

Hours before President Barack Obama was due to unveil proposals on Wednesday to prevent mass shootings like the one in Newtown, Connecticut, last month, the National Rifle Association released an advertisement that referred to his two school-aged daughters.

“Are the president’s kids more important than yours?” a narrator says in the 35-second television and Internet spot. “Then why is he skeptical about putting armed security in our schools when his kids are protected by armed guards at their schools? Mr. Obama demands the wealthy pay their fair share of taxes, but he’s just another elitist hypocrite when it comes to a fair share of security.”

Obama’s two children, who attend private school in Washington, D.C., receive Secret Service protection.

The White House condemned the ad.

“Most Americans agree that a president’s children should not be used as pawns in a political fight. But to go so far as to make the safety of the president’s children the subject of an attack ad is repugnant and cowardly,” White House spokesman Jay Carney said.

Former Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs, speaking earlier on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” program, said the ad was “disgusting on so many levels.”

Gun control activists and gun rights advocates have said in recent days that they could find common ground, particularly over the issue of expanding background checks for potential gun owners.

The NRA ad’s tone, however, and the personal nature of the attacks speaks to the cultural gulf that divides both sides.

The clip, called “Stand and Fight,” promotes the leading gun lobby’s proposal to put armed guards in schools. The idea has been at the center of the NRA’s response to the December 14 shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, in which 20 children and 6 adults were killed.

The ad is airing on the Sportsman Channel, a cable network, but will likely receive a much larger viewership on news stations and through the Internet.

The NRA, which says it has about 4 million members, also announced earlier this week that it would produce a nightly one-hour cable talk show hosted by gun advocate Cam Edwards on the Sportsman Channel.

“I am skeptical that the only answer is putting more guns in schools,” Obama said in a recent interview with NBC’s “Meet the Press. “And I think the vast majority of the American people are skeptical that that somehow is going to solve our problem.”

In a survey released on Monday, the Pew Research Center found that people favor putting armed guards or police officers in more schools by a two-to-one margin, 64 percent to 32 percent.

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Police responded to a call at the Boulevard Houses on Linden Boulevard in East New York Tuesday night around 11:30 p.m.

4-year-old Halii McCord was taken to  Brookdale Hospital, where she was pronounced dead, police said.

Hours later at 1:30 a.m., officers arrived at 86 West 179 Street in the Bronx after a 911 call about an emotionally disturbed person.

5-year-old Stewart Espinal was found unconscious. He was later pronounced dead at Saint Barnabus Hospital.

Police said a 47-year-old man was taken from the scene to Bronx Lebanon Hospital and later taken into custody.

The NYPD has not yet released a cause of death for either child.

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Officials were searching for the boys, identified by the Daily News as Connor Moore, 4, and Brandon Moore, 2, in a marshy area near Father Capodanno Blvd. Wednesday afternoon.

Their mother, Glenda Moore, told police her SUV became submerged in water before she got out of the vehicle with her two small children and tried to make it to higher ground.

A wave crashed into the family, ripping the boys from their mother’s grasp. Moore reportedly clung to a tree for her life and was forced spend the rest of the night trapped by the storm on a doorstep.

Hurricane Sandy has claimed at least 37 lives in the New York City area, Mayor Bloomberg said. At least 15 deaths have been reported on Staten Island.

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Outrage is building among parents who want to oust aggressive treat-wielding derelicts who dare solicit their children with something as inappropriate as a frozen dairy snack. Everyone knows a child should not be exposed to such a thing — it’s simply un-American.

According to the New York Post, parents complain Prospect Park has turned into a hot hangout for those looking to deal in dairy. The Park Slope Parents online forum was riddled with rants by angry moms who claim their trips to the playground were ruined by temper tantrums sparked by ice cream.

“Two different people came into the actual playground with ice cream/Italian ice push carts,” one angry mom said. “I was able to avoid it for a little while but eventually I left with a crying 4-year-old.”

“I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living!” another mom added. No word on whether these parents had ever told their children “no” before this incident.  

The sentiment was echoed by other parents on the site who would prefer to avoid a confrontation with their child (i.e. parenting) by removing the middle man — or in this case — ice cream man.

“Nobody wants to be a crank, but one in three kids are going to be obese or diabetic by high school,” said mom Sarah Schenck. “When my kids see other kids get ice cream, they just start begging me. I just don’t think these are the fights we should be having.”

Park Slope parents already have enough on their plates to deal with… like hummus imported from Israel.

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About 300 police, some in bullet-proof body armor, cordoned off an area surrounding a four-storey house in a leafy suburb of the city of Toulouse where the 24-year-old Muslim man, identified as Mohamed Merah, was holed up on the ground floor.

Interior Minister Claude Gueant said the gunman was a French citizen of Algerian origin who had been to Pakistan and Afghanistan and had carried out his killings in revenge for French military involvement abroad.

President Nicolas Sarkozy, running for re-election in five weeks time, said France should not give way to discrimination or vengeance after the shootings of a rabbi and the three children, and three soldiers of North African origin.

His warning came after far-right leader Marine Le Pen, a rival presidential candidate, said France should wage war on Islamic fundamentalism.

“I have brought the Jewish and Muslim communities together to show that terrorism will not manage to break our nation’s feeling of community,” Sarkozy said after meeting community leaders. “We must stand together. We must not cede to discrimination or vengeance.”

Interior Minister Gueant said Merah, who had been under surveillance since the attack on the first of the soldiers last week, wanted revenge “for the Palestinian children and he also wanted to attack the French army because of its foreign intervention”.

He told journalists Merah was a member of an ideological Islamic group in France but this organization was not involved in plotting any violence.

“We are certain that the man surrounded by police, and whose surrender is expected, is the one who committed this series of killings,” Gueant told BFM television.

He said Merah had thrown a Colt 45 pistol out of a window of the block of flats in exchange for a “communication device” or mobile phone, but was still armed. Police evacuated the other residents at 11:00 a.m (6 a.m. EDT).

“He said … he will turn himself in this afternoon.”

Police sources said they had conducted a controlled explosion of the suspect’s car at around 9:00 a.m. after discovering it was loaded with weapons.

Merah’s girlfriend and brother, who was also known to authorities as a radical Islamist, have also been arrested, officials said.

RAID

Gueant said Merah had contacted the first soldier he attacked under the pretext of wanting to buy his motorcycle.

Investigators identified the IP address he used – that of his mother – because he was already under surveillance for radical Islamist beliefs.

“We knew, and that is why he was under surveillance, that he had travelled to Afghanistan and Pakistan,” the minister said.

The telephone of the man and his family was tapped from Monday and with the help of other information the police decided to raid his house. Merah has a criminal record in France, Gueant said, but nothing indicating such an attack was possible.

Sarkozy had been informed of the standoff early in the morning, officials said.

The president’s handling of the crisis could be a decisive factor in determining how the French people vote in the two-round presidential elections in April and May.

In Jerusalem, the Jewish victims from the Ozar Hatorah school were buried. Parliament speaker Reuben Rivlin said in his eulogy at the hill-top cemetery that the attack was inspired by “wild animals with hatred in their hearts”.

Immigrants and Islam have been major themes of the campaign after Sarkozy tried to win over the voters of Le Pen, who quickly called for a war on fundamentalism.

“The risk of fundamentalism has been underestimated in our country. Certain political and religious groups are developing in the face of a certain laxness,” she told the i-Tele news channel, questioning the decision to deploy in Afghanistan.

“We must now wage this war against these fundamentalist political and religious group that are killing our children, that are killing our Christian children, our Christian young men, young Muslim men and Jewish children.”

But leaders of the Jewish and Muslim communities pointed out that the gunman was a lone extremist.

Dalil Boubakeur at the main mosque in Paris told Europe 1 radio that no one should link the Toulouse events and the Muslim religion, which is “99 percent peaceful, responsible, non-violent and well-integrated into the country”.

France’s military presence in Afghanistan has divided the two main candidates in the election. Socialist frontrunner Francois Hollande has said he will pull them out by the end of this year while Sarkozy aims for the end of 2013.

Jean Marc, a 56-year-old restaurant owner in the city who declined to give his last name, said he believed the crisis would benefit the far right or Sarkozy in the election.

“The Socialists don’t talk about this stuff and it shows they don’t know what they are doing,” he said. “They (the police) need to get this guy.”

Paris Prosecutor Francois Molins said on Tuesday that the gunman had filmed the killings in the school. He first wounded Rabbi Jonathan Sandler as he entered the school and then cornered eight-year-old Myriam Monsonego and shot her in the head, he said. He then returned outside and shot Sandler and his two children, who had rushed to his side, at point blank range.

Authorities believe that the gunman in the school shooting was the same person responsible for killing the seven people because the same Colt 45 handgun was used in all the attacks and in each case the gunman arrived on a Yamaha scooter with his face hidden by a motorcycle helmet.

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Apparently, a growing number of children in NYC are finding themselves distraught over all the responsibilities they’re faced with including demanding homework assignments from posh private schools and vying for the lead role in community theater productions.

As DNAinfo reports, parents worried about their children’s inability to work towards goals, can recruit a life coach, including one from the 91st Street Academy. There, children can find support and guidance for problems like school troubles, balancing extracurriculars and concentration issues — you know, stuff parents don’t want to deal with.

The DNAinfo piece tells the story of a troubled third-grader who simply could not stop misplacing his books and jacket. Life coaching, according to his parents, was the answer.

So what’s the difference, anyway, between a life coach and your run-of-the-mill shrink? According to 91st Street Academy, “Counseling looks backwards at past issues and events while coaching looks forward towards setting steps and goals for the future.”

Well since kids don’t have a past that spans more than a decade and a half or so, life coaching is perfect for them. For about $300 a month, a life coach will work with a kid once a week for three hours.

Now maybe it’s because we didn’t grow up in the city, but if our biggest problems were skipping class or misplacing things, we didn’t get sent to a life coach to sort it all out.

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1. Playmobil Take Along Soccer Match: It’s like foosball, on the go! This fold-up game comes with six athlete figures who can kick and score just like real soccer stars. Kids can maneuver the goalies to defend incoming shots, too. Ages 5-10, $60, www.playmobilusa.com, available in April

2. Mod stickers by Brickstix: Kids love to use their imagination when building with blocks — and now, they can make their creations even more true-to-life with these stickers, which easily attach and detach (with no residue) to Legos and other brick sets. Brickstix was conceived by 9-year-old Greyson MacLean when he became frustrated with the conventional stickers that came with his toy sets. He’s since won a slew of toy inventor awards and even appeared on “Conan.” Ages 6 and up, $6, www.brickstix.com, now available

3. Lazer Tag: Turn that once-every-so-often trip to the laser tag arena into an at-home activity with this hi-tech digital system. Your kids can download the game’s free software onto their iPhones, slap their phones into the Lazer Tag blaster and begin shooting baddies through the lens of their new virtual reality. Ages 8 and up, $70 for two blasters, www.hasbrotoyshop.com, available in August

4. Twister Dance: Twister’s undergone some changes since we last shouted “left foot blue.” Here, the pods are off the mat, so you can take the game wherever you go. Players can also groove to songs by Britney Spears and use the speaker as an iPod dock. Ages 8 and up, $35, www.hasbro.com, available in the fall.

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“As kids get older, they might develop really specific interests, but for the really young children, I think it’s helpful to experience a wide range of things,” says Dr. Jennifer Goldberg, director of elementary education at Fairfield University. “More and more there are camps that specialize in one area, but still offer other activities. But I would follow up with that. Sometimes camps advertise the variety, but they don’t really invest in those other activities.”

Nancy Heraghty is director of Destination Science camps, with locations in four different states. While children in the DS camp spend the bulk of their time in science-related activities, Heraghty is also adamant about investing in traditional summer fun activities. Along with robot building, the camp features relay races, capture the flag and other unabashed glee. “We want them to experience the friendship and the lighthearted joy of summer,” she explains. “For us, it’s as much about building relationships as it is about learning science.”

When choosing an arts camp

Arts camps can be a great way for kids to learn a new skill or further explore an existing talent. Just make sure that your child is genuinely interested in the area and that the program is dynamic enough to hold his or her attention.

“It’s important to look at the structure of the activities. You should ask: Will the child spend a lot of time waiting for their turn, or will the time be structured, so that they’re really involved?” says Goldberg. “I encourage people to really examine their child’s comfort level in that area. If it’s something new, it will be important to have a smaller teacher to student ratio.”

Note to parents:

You need to relax.
   
“If I had a 4- or a 5-year-old, my advice would be to relax a little. Let the kid find what he likes about camp. You have to make sure they’re in a safe, fun environment, and then just let them breathe,” says Howard Betterman, owner and director of Sesame/Rockwood Camps in Pennsylvania. “The older they get, the parent might notice a strong interest. But there’s always the possibility of doing a one-week specialty camp, and a couple weeks of a more traditional model.”

Staff, variety make for happy campers

Connie Coutellier can tell you all you need to know about the summer day camp business. She wrote the book on that subject — literally. “Day Camp from Day One: A Hands-On Guide for Day Camp Administrators” is an industry standard. She is the former president of the American Camp Association and the former programs director for Camp Fire USA.  

What are the basics to look for when choosing a summer day camp?

I would certainly want to know that they’re accredited by the American Camp Association. Not all are. They need to go through a rigorous process of 300 standards to do so. 

Does the ACA certify specialized camps, like music or soccer camps?

Yes. And in that case, you want to know that they’re doing other things besides soccer or music. They may be spending the majority of their time on soccer or horseback riding or swimming, but what other kinds of things do they do? Variety is really important, especially the younger the child is.

What’s the core ingredient that makes for a great day camp?

Staffing. When a child is in a group with staff that is caring and concerned and looking out for that child’s safety, that child is going to have a great experience.

If you were personally looking to place your child in a day camp, what are the things you would look for?

First, I would look at their staffing process: screening and training, how old they are, the ratio of staff to camper. I’d want them to be able to articulate their activities to me, and I’d want to make sure my child is interested in them. If I was a working parent, I’d want to know if there is extended-day possibilities. That is key for so many people. 

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Start now.  The AAPD recommends that every child visit a dentist by his or her first birthday and establish a regular office. The earlier the visit, the better the chances of preventing dental problems, which can source fear for visits to come.

Test the waters. Parents with toddlers who have not yet seen a dentist should consider a “get acquainted” visit to introduce your child to the dental office before the first appointment.
Choose words wisely. Be careful about using scary words. Check-ups and 90 percent of first visits do not have anything to do with “hurt,” so don’t even use the word!

Time it out. Select an appointment time when your child is alert and rested.

Be confident. Children often perceive a parent’s anxiety. They also tolerate procedures best when their parents understand what to expect and prepare them for the experience. As parents become more confident, so will the child.

Make “pediatric” a priority. Pediatric dentists are the pediatricians of dentistry, with two to three years of specialized training in treating children beyond dental school. Plus, because they see only children, their office environment is set up for children.

Manage expectations. Before the visit, explain that the dentist is a friend and will help your child keep his or her teeth healthy. Reinforce that the visit will be fun.

Share a story. Read your child a story about a character that had a good dental visit.

Offer control. Give your child some control over the dental visit. Such choices as “Will you hold your bear or should I?” or “Which color toothbrush do you like?” will make the visit more enjoyable. 

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Schools sign up to conserve energy
K-12 schools in America spend an excess of $7.5 billion on energy costs each year, with as much as $2.25 billion (30 percent) being used unnecessarily, according to Energystar.gov. The Green Cup Challenge looks to change that. More than 100 schools across the country have vowed to slash their energy costs this year. Come mid-February the challenge ends, but every school that participates is deemed a winner for reducing energy use. Learn more at www.greencupchallenge.net.
 
Say ‘oui’ to camp
Summer is coming; and if you want to give your children a leg up in foreign language, enroll them in the French Institute Alliance Francaise’s French summer day camp programs. Native French-speakers will teach your young ones (ages 1 to 15) about French language and culture through theater, culinary events, local field trips and other creative ventures. Kids and teens at any level of fluency can sign up for the camps, which begin in June. For more information, visit www.fiaf.org/daycamp.

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Adventures in Adaptations
Through Feb. 26, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.
The New York Botanical Garden
2900 Southern Blvd., Bronx
$8-$20, 718 817-8700
www.nybg.org
Let your kids run wild while learning about plants from different places with Adventures in Adaptations, which takes kids throughout the gardens.

Exhibits

Assignment: Subway
Saturday and Sunday, 1:30 p.m.
Transit Museum
95-99 Schermerhorn St., Brooklyn
$5-$7, 718-694-1792
www.mta.info/museum
This interactive tour explains each job at the MTA — from what each worker does and how their role is important in keeping the subway safe.

Junior Engineer: Dig it
Feb. 18-19, 1:30 p.m.
Transit Museum
95-99 Schermerhorn St., Brooklyn
$5-7,718-694-1792
www.mta.info/museum
Did you know that various archeological treasures were discovered during the construction of the subway tunnel system? At this exhibit, your family can dig up various replicas of these artifacts from the museum’s pretend excavation site.

Start with Art
Thursdays to Sundays, various times
The Met, 1000 Fifth Ave.
212-923-3700
www.metmuseum.org
Families can explore and learn about art at the Met through the family-friendly Start with Art program, where children can try their hand at sketching their own art work, listen to stories about the Met’s collection and discover the true meaning of art. This program is geared to children age three to seven and their parents or caregivers.

Creative

Chinese Lantern Installation
Feb. 4, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Children’s Museum of the Arts
103 Charlton St., New York
$10, 212-274-0986
www.cmany.org
Families can create a collage or create their own Chinese lanterns. Once completed,their finished work will be put on display, creating an installation of lanterns.

Comics for Kids: Workshop with George O’Connor
Feb. 2, 1:30 p.m.
WORD
126 Franklin St., Brooklyn
Free, 718- 383-0096
www.wordbrooklyn.com
Author/illustrator George O’Connor (his most recent work is “Hera: The Goddess and her Glory”) will give a presentation and lead a hands-on workshop for kids on creating comics at this special event.

Parade
Chinatown’s Lunar New Year Parade
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Mott and Hester Streets, free
www.explorechinatown.com
The spectacular annual parade in Chinatown starts at Little Italy and goes through the main streets of Chinatown with a colorful display of marching bands, floats and lion and dragon dancers. Before the parade starts, enjoy cultural demonstrations at the Sara Roosevelt Park.
theater

“Puss In Boots”
Now through April 7, Saturday and Sunday
Puppetworks INC.
338 Sixth Ave., Brooklyn
$7-$8, 718-965-3391
www.puppetworks.org
The 1697 French version of “Puss In Boots” has been adapted by Puppetworks for audiences of all ages to enjoy — with puppets! This version uses the original score and even features a “live” ogre.

“Cinderella: A New Version of the Oldest Story Ever Told”
Monday through Feb. 10,
10:30 a.m.
Circle in the Square Theatre School, 1633 Broadway
$5, 212- 307-0388
www.circlesquare.org
Audiences will be treated to versions of the fairytale “Cinderella” from China, India, and Africa. How different can they be? Well, one features a flying cow and, in another, Cinderella is a boy.

Events

The African American Musical Mosaic
Feb. 18, noon to 6 p.m.
American Museum of Natural History,
Central Park West,
Free with admission
212-769-5315
www.amnh.org
Celebrate African-American History Month with a day of family-friendly activities and live musical performances with such notable acts such as the Harlem Quartet, Sandra Reaves-Phillips, and IMPACT Repertory Theatre (the choir who performed “Raise it Up” from the film “August Rush” at the Oscars). The day ends with a special concert by Darryl “DMC” McDaniels, co-founder of the hip-hop group Run-DMC.

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On Manhattan’s East Side, for example, 9 out of 10 top intersections for crashes that killed or injured children were near public housing developments, according to a Transportation Alternatives   report released on Thursday.

Dashane Santana, 12, was killed Friday on Delancey Street when a van hit her on her way home from school. Santana, who lived in the Jacob Riis II Houses, was bending down to pick up her book bag when she was fatally struck.

“Dangerous driving has a startlingly disproportionate impact on children in Manhattan’s low-income communities,” said Transportation Alternatives Director Paul Steely White.

The report theorized some of the reasons why: Sprawling layouts of public housing might mean more people crossing between blocks and public housing is often located  near roads that may attract speeding drivers.

Transportation Alternatives suggested that the NYPD issue more speeding tickets in areas near public or low-income housing.

In East Harlem, children are about 30 percent of the population, but 43 percent of crash victims, the report found. In contrast, on the Upper East Side, children are fewer than 15 percent of crash victims.

Trouble spots

The deadliest intersection for children is in East Harlem at East 125th Street and Lexington Avenue.
According to Transportation Alternatives, 20 crashes injured 34 children and killed one at that corner between 1995 and 2009.

Other crashes where children were hit include 125th Street and Park Avenue, and along Second Avenue in Harlem, at 122nd and 124th streets. Delancey and Houston streets were highlighted as having several intersections where kids were killed. 

Follow Alison Bowen on Twitter @alisonatmetro

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They should be ready to understand the background story of Father Christmas at about age three, says Dr. Jerome Singer, professor emeritus of psychology and child study at Yale University and a specialist in children’s imagination. “Before that it’s confusing to the child. At 3, 4 and 5 years, children are doing a great deal of pretending and make believe anyway.”

Either way, you can’t escape the myth. “If your children go to school and are part of mainstream society, then it’s hard to see how you can avoid it,” says clinical psychologist and author Oliver James. “At age 2, 3 and 4, children are living a wild fantasy life already. The idea that there is a big man flying around the world giving gifts shouldn’t be a hard sell,” he says.

Parents shouldn’t worry about participating in the great red-and-white lie. “Lying is an integral part of life from an early age; children witness parents saying ‘tell him I’m not in’,” says James. “So there’s nothing too complicated about that.”

In fact, fantasizing about Santa’s adventures could benefit a child’s cognitive development. “There are many advantages for the child developing relatively early a capacity for pretending and imagination,” says Singer. Children with active imaginations at an early age learn new vocabularies, master the idea of possibilities by experimenting with different social situations, trying them out and seeing what works and what doesn’t, so they learn to self-regulate, he explains.

Communicate with your kids in a playful way about the Santa myth, says Singer, and be alert to factors that will confuse them, including different Santas appearing in shops and on TV. Most kids find out the truth from siblings or at school. Don’t push kids who want to believe but prepare them for the truth as they hit early school age.

Analysis

Give Christmas Meaning  Oliver James, author of “Affluenza”

Oliver James, author of “Affluenza,” a book about how our competitive consumerist culture makes us anxious, suggests ways to give Christmas a noncommercial meaning:

Create games, rituals and traditions
Find a film that the family can watch together, “The Sound of Music” or “Casablanca,” and watch it every year, creating rituals away from the consumption of gifts.

Reinforce anti-materialism
Remind your kids that money and possessions aren’t going to make them happy, throughout the year, and that richer people aren’t necessarily happier. 

Make them ad-savvy
Kids love impressing you with their cleverness. Teach them how to decrypt the ads that try to sell them products they don’t need throughout the year — or let them watch advert-spoofing “The Simpsons” — and they’ll be wary come December.

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The average child’s “digital birth” is at about 6 months old, according to a global report by Internet Security specialist AVG, although photos of 33 percent of children are posted online just weeks after birth, and almost a quarter of children have a digital footprint before birth, when their parents put sonogram photos online. Eighty-one percent of children have a digital profile by age 2.

“Parents should bear in mind that as soon as they post something online it is very difficult and often impossible to remove,” warns Pamela Whitby, author of “Is your child safe online?: A parent’s guide to the internet, Facebook, mobile phones & other new media.” “By creating a digital presence for your child at a young age, you may be compromising their privacy.”

The dangers of a digital footprint for babies include misappropriation of photos and identity theft if too many details are revealed, says Whitby. There’s also the potential impact on your own relationship with your child. “Parents should ask themselves how they would feel if every aspect of their own childhood was made public,” says Whitby. “Some children may not like the history their parents have created for them.”

Safety first

Keep your child safe online:
   
Read the terms of use of the website that you intend to use; many have rules about the minimum age of users.
   
Keep in mind that the Internet is a public place; references to your child will be available forever and a child’s reputation can be impacted by anything that a parent chooses to share.
   
Set your privacy settings carefully and consider sharing only with immediate family and friends.
   
Consider exactly what information you are sharing and with whom you are sharing it. Don’t use full names and avoid explicitly identifiable information.
   
Remember that children view their parents as a source for what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior online; parents should only post information that they would feel comfortable with their child posting of themselves as they get older. Source: www.fosi.org

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1. Keep their first Christmas nice and cozy with MyNatural Disney Blankies, made from natural cotton and colored with eco-friendly dyes. $15, www.toysrus.com

2. The “Sesame Street” gang are never going out of style. Let’s Rock Elmo sings and plays instruments (don’t worry — he’s happy to share his drums with kiddos), while Count ’N Crunch Cookie Monster teaches numbers as he gobbles away. Cookie: $30; Elmo: $70, www.hasbrotoyshop.com

3. Meet Magical Fairy Dora: From what we understand about little girls, you cannot possibly go wrong with this one. $30, www.shop.nick.com

4. LEGO characters have come a long way since we last played with the little blockheads. This year, SpongeBob SquarePants and friends get in on the action. $15-$20, www.shop.nick.com

5. We have no idea when the EasyBake oven got this cool. Or  started including red velvet cupcakes. But we do know we still want one — bad. $50, www.hasbrotoyshop.com

6. Hello, Kitty! This MP3 player can store more than 100 songs and keep sticky fingers off your iPhone. $30, www.toysrus.com

7. Equipped with three wheels, the Mini Kick looks like a big kid’s ride, but little ones won’t topple
as they practice their balance. $85, www.gilt.com

8. WallCandy’s ice cream cone decal has a chalkboard surface for the budding Banksy eyeing up her bedroom walls. $30, www.gilt.com

9. Mattel’s Monster High dolls put Barbie on notice. $18, www.shop.mattel.com

10. The Rover Spy Tank can travel up to 200 feet as it streams live video or pictures back to your iPhone, which acts as its steering wheel. Did we mention the night vision? Test this one out before putting it under the tree. $150, www.brookstone.com

11. Each Furreal Friends Newborn is so tiny it needs to be bottle-fed! Our vote is for the baby penguin, for obvious reasons. $15, www.hasbrotoyshop.com

12. Want to defend your title as the  coolest aunt? The new Fretlight teaching guitar plugs into a
USB port, then is ready to light up and guide you through finger placement with video lessons.
$400-$800, www.fretlight.com

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But in a new statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics confirms that children under age 2 should spend less time in front of a screen and more time learning through play.

Since the AAP first examined this issue in 1999, there’s been a proliferation of new screens offering entertainment — TV, DVD, computer, smart phones and tablets — and further studies to show its detrimental effect. These days, TV shows, specialized DVDs and even entire channels are dedicated to entertaining tots.

In a recent American survey, a staggering 90 percent of parents said their under-2s watched some form of electronic media; and on average, these children watched TV for one to two hours a day. At age three, a third of these kids have a TV in their bedroom, and many have the set on all or most of the time.

Parents may kid themselves that watching “quality” programs is educational. But while toddlers age 2 and up can have improved social and language skills, the new findings show that there’s no evidence that television can be educational for the under-2s.

“Somewhere between age 1.5 and 2.5, children are able to grasp the content and context of televised programs,” explains the report’s lead author, Dr Ari Brown.

Children learn more from play than TV shows, so any time taken away from playing and learning how to problem-solve, think creatively and develop motor skills is damaging. Watching TV can even affect your child’s ability to go to sleep.

“The best thing you can do for your young child is to give [him or her] a chance to have unstructured play, both with you and independently,” says Dr. Brown. “Children need this in order to figure out how the world works.”

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Spooktacular
Friday, 5 to 8:30 p.m., Al Oerter Recreation Center, 131-40 Fowler Ave., Queens, free, 718-353-7853
www.nycgovparks.org
Fowler Recreation Center has Halloween fun covered with a haunted house, Halloween crafts, music, games, ghost stories and a pumpkin patch all on offer for kids to enjoy on Friday night. There will also be many more events over the weekend.

Haunted Fort Halloween
Friday, 6:30 to 8 p.m., Fort Totten Park, Cross Island Parkway between Totten
Avenue and 15 Road, Queens, free, 718-352-1769
www.nycgovparks.org
Haunted shipwrecks are said to attract ghosts and ghouls to the Fort Totten Park, and this Halloween is no different. Bring a flashlight and enjoy the spooky atmosphere and sights this former army base has to offer. It is designed as a free event for children of all ages.

Masked Parade of Hairy Insects
Saturday, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.,  Wave Hill Garden and Cultural Center Ecology Building, West 249th Street and Independ­ence Avenue, Bronx, free until noon, 718-549-3200
www.wavehill.org
Create your own fuzzy, funny insect masks by using materials of all shapes and sizes at Wave Hill. Once kids have created their bug, they’re invited to walk them around the park before the fall parade begins. Admission to the grounds is free until noon and is designed for families and children of all ages.

Botanical Garden Nighttime Adventure
Saturday, 6 to 7:30 p.m.,
New York Botanical Garden, 2900 Southern Blvd., Bronx,  $20 adults, $8 kids, under 2 free, www.nybg.org
Have you always wanted to explore the garden after dark? Well, now you can. Get the family together, grab your flashlights and explore the spooky sculptures at night. Decorate your own pumpkin to take home and treat-or-treat along the paths. This event is for children of all ages and designed for the whole family.
 
Dread of Night
Saturday, 7 p.m., Historic Richmond Town, Staten Island, adults $10, children $8,
718-351-1611
www.historicrichmondtown.org
Staten Island Historical Society archival material is on display, told as stories for Halloween. A self-guided tour goes in and around some of the “hauntingly lonely” buildings, where guests will meet many interesting characters on their journey.

Highland Park Harvest Festival
Saturday, Elton Street and Jamaica Avenue, Highland Park, Queens, 718-235-4151
Enjoy a fun day with the family this Saturday afternoon at the Highland Park Fall Harvest Festival. Dress up and enjoy free horse and carriage rides, crafts, games, a pumpkin patch, pirate music, a treasure hunt and a pirate show. There will also be a surprise visit from Captain Jack, but shh! You didn’t hear it from us.   

Boo at the Zoo
Saturday and Sunday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Queen’s Zoo, 53-51 111th St., Flushing Meadow’s Corona Park, free for kids in costume, 718-271-1500
www.queenszoo.com
This Saturday and Sunday, enjoy Queens Zoo’s annual Boo at The Zoo. Kids dressed in costume will receive free admission and a day of trick-or-treating, face painting, pumpkin picking and much more. Can’t make the weekend? On Monday, the zoo also offers a family fun day from 3 to 4:30 p.m., which is $10 for adults and $3 for children. Reservations are required for Monday.

Decker Farm Pumpkin Picking
Saturday and Sunday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m, Decker Farm, 435 Richmond Hill Road, Staten
Island, $5 per person or $16 per family of four
www.historicrichmondtown.org
Decker Farm is throwing a pumpkin-picking day for the whole family. Enjoy transportation to the farmhouse for a guided tour and hayride, then bring a pumpkin home with you at the end of the day.  

Halloween Celebration at the Museum
Monday, 4 to 7 p.m., American Museum of Natural History, Central Park West at 79th Street, $10, 212-769-5200
www.amnh.org/halloween
Children are invited to dress up and head to AMNH for an afternoon of trick-or-treating, arts and crafts, and the chance to meet with cartoon characters such as Curious George and The Cat in the Hat. There will also be live performances by acts such as David Grover and Big Red Band.

The Amazing Maize Maze
Saturday and Sunday, Queens Country Farm Museum, 73-50 Little Neck Pkwy., Floral Park, Queens, $9 adults, $5 ages 4-11, 3 and under free
www.queensfarm.org
Get lost in a three-acre corn maze, take a walk through a haunted house (open from 4 to 7 p.m. on both days), and enjoy other Halloween fun like sack racing, trick-or-treating, pony rides and much more. Please note:?There are different costs associated with each activity.

Village Halloween Parade
Monday, 7 to 10 p.m.,
New York’s Village Halloween Parade, Begins at Sixth Avenue at Spring Street, free
www.halloween-nyc.com
On Monday night, anyone and everyone is welcome to join New York’s annual Halloween parade for a scary good time. Arrive in costume at 6:30 p.m. and join marching bands, puppets and other revelers for the 39th annual event through the Village.

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An email sent by Occupy Wall Street spokesman Patrick Bruner said that there will be an hourly headcount of children who are there and parents will need to present I.D. and wear identifying t-shirts while working shifts around the hour.

“With the Family Sleepover, Parents for Occupy Wall Street are Occupying to speak up for the ones without a voice and make real change, change for their children’s futures,” said the release.

When the Occupy Wall Street movement began, it was largely comprised of college-aged people. But over the past month the protest has grown, as people of all ages join the marches and demonstrations — and now, children are getting into the act.  

The group “Parents for Occupy Wall Street” is calling on families to spend the night camped out with protesters at Zuccotti Park on October 14.

Kirby Desmarais says she launched ParentsforOccupyWallSt.com over the weekend after visiting the protest with her own baby, and noticing that there was no designated spot for children at the camp. The website describes Parents for Occupy Wall Street as a collective community for families who support the movement.

“It’s more about letting parents know it’s safe and they can come,” said Desmarais. “Parents should be the loudest voice. It’s our children’s futures we need to stand up for here. The change will affect them more than us.”

Desmarais said volunteers with Occupy Wall Street have set up a safe barricaded place for children inside Zuccotti Park. She said about 300 to 500 children passed through today, many spending time in the designated area where they played with toys and did arts and crafts.   

The movement is encouraging families to stay in Zuccotti Park from 4 p.m. on October 14 to 11 a.m. on October 15. The site reminds parents to bring safe, warm sleeping supplies for their children, like strollers, blankets and carriers.

When asked whether the protest might be too chaotic of an environment for a child, Desmarais responded, “Have you ever lived with a toddler?”

She said children are high-energy beings themselves, but, amazingly, they had a soothing effect on the protesters who passed by and watched them nap.

“It was an awe moment and the children kind of calm everybody down around them,” said Desmarais. “It’s really magical to see.” 

Desmarais with her daughter

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