To be quite honest, when I first heard the name “Kobe” and “porn” in the same phrase I was thinking about things much more sinister than dunk contests.

Ya know, cause after you’re charged with rape all bets are off when it comes to public sex stipulations.

But Kobe and the NBA have done such a masterful job of rehabbing his image (the 10-year plan most certainly worked) after the Lakers superstar bawled his eyes out for the world to see in a July 2003 press conference, that most people in today’s society don’t even remember the incident.

It seems suits at Sex.com (do porn sites actually have high ranking execs, and do they actually have offices and wear actual ties and stuff to work?), have forgotten about what did or did not happen in Eagle, Colo. a decade ago as they offered Kobe $5 million to participate in a dunk contest with LeBron James. Yup, Magic Johnson and Sex.com are here to save the NBA slam dunk contest by throwing gobs of money at the game’s most famous stars.

Kobe, of course, should do it – if for no other reason than to send David Stern into a “Jordan gambling at 4 a.m. in Atlantic City” – like tantrum. The same way Rob Gronkowski should hook up with everyone’s favorite girl next floor, Bibi Jones, in exchange for $3 million (also a Sex.com project) just to wrinkle the feathers of Lord Goodell.

One of these days, one of these famous athletes is going to break the porn barrier. You can bet ESPN is already scrambling on how to handle it.

Bad idea genes
So Paris Jackson, the 14-year-old daughter of the late Michael Jackson, is a cheerleader today for some high school out in LA.

In turn, Philadelphia Eagles cheerleading guru/publicity hound Barbara Zaun jumped at the chance to get her name on TMZ by saying that Paris would “make a great Eagles cheerleader!”

Uh, actually I can think of about, oh, say, 31 other NFL cities that would be a better landing spot for Ms. Jackson. Do we really think Eagles fans would treat the emotionally fragile daughter of the most famous dead, multi-colored, formerly emotionally fragile pop singer in the history of the world with class and dignity? I’m sure there would be zero child molestation jokes reigning down on young Paris from guys 10 whiskey-sodas deep at Lincoln Financial Field.

Plus, warm-weathered LA is going to have an NFL team by the time Paris is 18 and her aunt Janet already has the NFL halftime show deal flat-out conquered. Calm down Barbara Zaun.

Follow Metro Boston sports editor and columnist Matt Burke on Twitter @BurkeMetroBOS

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It may be a case of too little too late, but Lindsay Lohan is reportedly looking to change her ways — and her lawyer is asking for her current probation violation case to be delayed so that she can do just that, according to TMZ. Her new attorney, Mark Heller, has asked for a continuance, arguing that Lohan “is pursuing and participating in certain activities which will benefit her and afford her more of an opportunity to be a productive and responsible person and contributor to society,” court documents reveal. The documents further state that Lohan “has made a commitment to herself to elevate her life and participate in activities which will advance her desire to lead a model life.”

Apparently Seth MacFarlane didn’t get his need to perform out of his system at the Oscars Sunday night, as the host also took the stage for a few numbers at his private after-party in front of family and friends, according to E! News. He also celebrated the night by getting cozy with Charlize Theron. “Charlize was very chatty with Seth and they shared a laugh in between his performances,” a source says. “The party wasn’t packed, but everyone seemed to be enjoying the singing and dancing.” Theron reportedly stayed at the shindig for quite a while.

“Argo” director Ben Affleck marked his his Best Picture win by getting rid of the beard that has graced his face for the bulk of awards season, according to E! News. “He did it to mark the end of a chapter,” a source says. “It had a ceremonial quality to it.” Affleck has previously said in interviews that his young children were not fans of the facial hair, which he also sported while filming “Argo.”

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