A beautiful spring morning in Ditmars Park in Astoria turned ugly last Tuesday when 54-year-old Zbigniew Pawlowski reportedly armed his two children with two illegally owned BB guns and set them loose in a busy playground.

He first fired a couple of shots at a nearby tree, then handed the weapons to his 5-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son, according to an account from the Queens district attorney’s office.

The city’s Administrative Code requires permits for air rifles or pistols like BB guns. There were no injuries as a result of this incident, but Pawlowski was arraigned on several charges, including resisting arrest and endangering the welfare of a child, the New York Times reported.

The story was first written about on the Queens Mamas blog, and Queens Councilman Peter Vallone linked to the story on his Facebook page, asking constituents to speak up if they recognized the man in a blurry cell phone photo.

“It’s unfortunate this incident escalated,” Vallone said of Pawlowski’s arrest and the ensuing court case. “The gun was extremely realistic which makes it illegal, but instead of turning himself in and getting a wrist slap, he resisted arrest.”

The Queens Mamas story, which has since been removed, complained of a delay in response by the police, and an absence of police near the park generally.

“Everyone wants more cops in the neighborhood, it’s my top priority,” Vallone said, and advised voters “to look at candidates’ positions on more cops in the upcoming elections.

Follow Danielle Tcholakian on Twitter @danielleiat

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When syndicated parenting columnist Tracy Beckerman gave up her high-powered Manhattan TV career to focus on motherhood, she, her husband and their two young kids left their quintessential New York lifestyle behind for a different one in the Jersey suburbs. Her new life as a full-time mom, however, left Beckerman in a funk. “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” tells the story of how the author found her groove in Jersey and learned how important a sense of humor is in raising a family.

How did you decide to swap your city life for a suburban one, and what was the transition like?
After I had my son and went back to my job as a writer and producer for the local news, I never expected that I was going to not really care about it anymore. I felt like I was missing out by not being with my son. So we made the decision that I was going to quit my job. Then we realized that we couldn’t afford to stay in the city! So we moved to New Jersey. I didn’t know anybody, I didn’t have my job to define me anymore and I just sort of lost it. It made it tough to be comfortable in my new role.

How did things begin to change?
My low point is when I got stopped by a cop driving in my dumpy bathrobe. I thought, I’ve got to turn my life around! When my kids went to school, I thought about what I could do that is just for me. One day my son came home from school and told me something funny that happened, and I wrote it down. [The story] came flooding out of me, and the local paper ran it. Soon after, two more papers expressed interest. I realized this was going to be my second act. Finding the humor in parenting made me so much happier.

What should women in this situation keep in mind?
If you defined yourself by your career, it can be very hard when all of a sudden your job title is Stay-At-Home Mom. You need something for yourself that’s not just about your kids — something just for you that you feel good about. I think you end up feeling happier, and it makes you a better parent.

The post How Tracy Beckerman found herself ‘Lost in Suburbia’ appeared first on Metro.us.

Marc and Maya Silver

When Maya Silver was grappling with her mother’s breast cancer, she noticed that there weren’t many resources available for teens dealing with a parent’s cancer. So she tag-teamed with her dad — the author of “Breast Cancer Husbands — to create a survival guide for teens undergoing such duress, “My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks.” We asked the father-daughter duo about the best ways to help this underrepresented group cope.

You interviewed many teenagers for this book. Were there any recurring topics?

Maya: The friend issue came up over and over again, like, “My friends don’t really get it” or “I feel like I can’t talk to them about it.” Another thing was communication. [There was] a lot of variation in how much they wanted to know about their parent’s cancer. I think every teen valued being told the truth and being communicated with. We had a lot of teens say that their parents didn’t tell them right away or told them in a weird way and withheld information or made things seem sunnier than they really were. That really made the teens feel betrayed or like they didn’t know what was going on. We emphasize that in the book that communication is very important. It’s gonna vary from family to family, what works best and what everyone wants, but it has to be there.

Marc: Yeah. Some families have a family meeting tradition, and that’s fine, but some families don’t like family meetings and you don’t want to call the first meeting in your family’s history to present this news. Maybe your family works better just chatting in the car. Some people said maybe leave a notebook where everybody goes, and the kids write their questions and the parents read them and write their answers. The idea is that there’s no one size fits all way to tell the kids but like Maya said, you’ve got to be honest.

We often try to lend support to friends going through a rough time by saying something like, “If you need anything, let me know.” But Maya, what are some concrete words or actions that you appreciated when your mom was ill?

Maya: Just understanding. If I didn’t want to have any friends over to the house when my mom was really sick, or if I just wanted to get away and stay busy, I had people there to help me do that. You definitely hear a lot of “I’m so sorry!” [and] constant asking how you’re doing, how you’re family’s doing. That was not very helpful for me. Knowing that I had good friends around me and a strong family was very helpful.

What else did teens find not helpful?

Marc: One girl [we interviewed], Caitlin, went to school, and the teacher asked a question so Caitlin raised her hand to answer. And the teacher goes, “Oh, Caitlin, how’s your mom?” And Caitlin was so mad because she did not want to talk about or have to think about her mom at that moment  — she wanted to answer the question. Kids don’t want to be constantly reminded. A social worker at MD Anderson [Cancer Center] told me about a middle school’s boy’s mom who was diagnosed with cancer, and the school announced it over the [PA system]. They did it out of the best of intentions, I think to rally everybody around this kid, but this is not what that kid needed.

Maya: Another thing is an artificial sense of compassion. We had a couple of really out-there examples, like, “I know exactly how you feel, my gecko just died.” [Or] you tell someone that your mom has a serious form of breast cancer and they’re like, “Oh, my grandma’s sick too.” You want to be like, “You have no idea.”

What were some of most popular ways you found teens deal with their stress?

Marc: They found all kinds of ways to cope, and a lot of the ways they found were really positive, like listening to music, or going for a run, or writing in a journal, or playing video games. What’s cool about that is you’re learning how you can get through a tough time in life, and that’s something you can carry with you throughout your life.

Did you find any differences in how boys handled the issue, versus girls?

Marc: I interviewed a bunch of guys in Cleveland and two of them said that they punched a hole in their bedroom wall or in the house because they were so mad. After that, I asked every boy I interviewed, “So did you punch a hole in the wall?” and almost all of them said they did. (Laughs) There’s a little note in the book that’s how to repair that hole in the wall.

How much information should people at the teen’s school have?

Marc: It’s good if someone at school knows because that way the kid has a confidante. I think some kids might feel like, “Oh, I don’t want anyone at school to know.” And in general most of the experts that we interviewed said it’s really helpful to have someone at the school, even if it’s one person, who knows, because that way if there’s a change in the parents’ condition, if something’s going on at home, then you have a go-to person. If you want the teachers in the classroom to know, [that] can be helpful because a lot of kids were affected in the way they did their work at school — some kids overachieved, some kids just kind of stopped doing homework or didn’t focus as they usually did. It’s good if teachers understand why that’s happening.  And the parents and the kids can talk about it together.

In addition to the teens, you also interviewed a lot of experts. Did their advice match up with what the teens said?

Marc: I think they just emphasized that every kid’s gonna react differently and that that’s OK. One thing that’s surprising is they said some kids just don’t want to talk about it, and that’s OK. You can’t force the conversation when the kid doesn’t want to have it. The other thing that one expert talked about that was kind of intriguing, and I think this is something that adults can relate to too, she used this phrase “the tyranny of positive thinking.” The idea is that we live in a society where everybody wants you to be upbeat all the time and optimistic all the time, and you know what? People aren’t like that. It’s perfectly normal to be down and to be upset.

How can parents go about best communicating with their teen about their illness?

Maya: The first step to communicating is communicate about how you’re going to communicate. (Laughs) So instead of just assuming that your kid wants to know every detail, or that they don’t really want to know anything, or that they only want to hear good news, and instead of a parent assuming that the teen doesn’t want to talk about it, you should say from the outset, “We’re gonna have this experience for the next one to however many years —what do you want to know, and how would you like to communicate about this?” Like my dad said, some families, if they have preexisting family meetings, then that makes sense to have a weekly get-together and just kind of touch base and talk about what’s going on. Some teens might want to communicate through text, or email or whatever: Find out how your teen wants to communicate, and how much they want to know, and then you can adjust as needed.

Marc: It’s hard for a teen sometimes to confront a parent and say, “You’re not telling me enough.” A parent could say, like, a day later, “Hey, what I told you yesterday about dad’s surgery or mom’s chemotherapy, was that helpful? Was it too much information? Was it not enough information?” Ask follow-up questions and get a sense of what your kid needs from you.

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Allowing children to spend hours each day watching TV or playing computer games does not make them badly behaved, according to a new study.

Instead, said the authors of a report that studied 11,000 children aged 4-11, bad behavior is more likely caused by bad parenting.

The Medical Research Council findings contradicted advice issued by American health professionals that says children should be limited to two hours of watching non-violent TV programs per day – or behavioral problems could result.

The MRC study said that while long hours of watching TV could lead to very limited behavior issues in children at age seven, the effect was minimal.

Children who spent hours playing computer games showed no increase in behavioral issues at all.

Dr. Alison Parkes, of the MRC said: “Our work suggests that limiting the amount of time children spend in front of the TV is, in itself, unlikely to improve psychosocial adjustment.”

She added that intervention to improve family dynamics – such as improving parenting skills – would have a more marked effect on children’s behavior.

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Find this springtime setup at the Ritz Carlton Battery Park.

Getting your little ones into their bonnets was half the battle. At least these kid-friendly restaurants are rolling out the stops to make sure your kids have a happy holiday.

Rock Center Café
5th Avenue between 49th and 50th streets, 212-332-7654
Before heading inside, work up an appetite with a twirl around the rink at Rockefeller Center (yes, it’s still open). The Easter Bunny will be joining skaters from 9 a.m.- 3 p.m., and also meeting with children at the café to dole out handcrafted dark, milk and white chocolate truffle eggs by Pastry Chef Michael Gabriel. Parents can opt for a three-course prix fixe brunch or dinner; children receive two courses.
Skate with Easter Bunny: $25 admission; $10 rental
Brunch (9 a.m.-4 p.m.)
$45 for adults, $25 for children
Dinner (4-9 p.m.)
$59 for adults, $25 for children

Asellina
420 Park Ave. South, 212-317-2908
While parents tuck into strawberry pancake towers and truffled poached truffled eggs at the restaurant’s prix-fixe brunch ($25), kids can hang next door at the supervised Gansevoort Hotel Petting Zoo, open from 12-2 p.m., which will be home to sheep, lamb, goats, bunnies, chicks and the Easter Bunny. Dinner starts at 5:30 p.m.; menu options include duck frittata and gnocchi gratinati.

Ritz Carlton New York, Battery Park
2 West. St., 917-790-2525
Leave it to the Ritz to provide the most lavish Easter egg hunt in the city: Beginning at noon on Sunday, children ages 3-12 are invited to hunt for the more than 500 treasure-filled eggs scattered throughout the hotel lobby and outdoor plaza. If your kid finds one of twelve golden eggs, he or she gets an additional prize. The Easter Bunny will also be on hand from noon to 1 for kids to meet and take pictures with. Once everyone gets hungry, brunch is being served at the hotel’s 2 West Restaurant, where pastry chef Laurent Richard, will debut a new chocolate creation.
Brunch: $82 for adults, $42.50 per child
Easter egg hunt: Free (call 917-790-2552 for more information)

InterContinental’s Barclay Bar & Grill
111 E. 48th St., 212-906-3144
Wee ones at this brunch get to enjoy mocktails, a special kids’ menu and a visit from the Easter Bunny, who’ll be handing out chocolate gifts. For grown-ups, the brunch buffet has it all, from waffles and eggs Benedict to house-made hummus and Amish free-range chicken breast.
Brunch: $80 for adults, $40 for kids

ATRIO
102 North End Ave., 646-769-4250
The lobby of this space in the Conrad New York will become home to an Easter Egg-stravaganza, complete with an egg hunt and a chance to meet the Easter Bunny. There will also be egg-dyeing workshops with Kool-Aid, so no need to worry about your kids ingesting anything they shouldn’t. At brunch, parents can choose from dishes like bruschetta scrambled eggs or rack of lamb with caramelized sun chokes, while kids can opt for breakfast bites like French toast or lunch nibbles like grilled cheese and pizza.
Brunch: $45 for adults, $25 for kids

One more option: Set sail
Hit the open waters on board World Yacht this Sunday — the boat line’s special Easter afternoon cruise will circle the Hudson River, past Governor’s Island and the Statue of Liberty. A buffet brunch, including items like fritattas and bagels with cream cheese, will be available, and the Easter bunny will be there to give out special gift baskets to kids 12 and under.
$50, call 212-630-8100 for reservations

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When Brooklyn mom Catherine Crawford began to feel as if her kids were running the household, she and her husband began an experiment in French parenting. The more hands-off French method focuses on rules and boundaries between children and adults. Her memoir, “French Twist: An American Mom’s Experiment in Parisian Parenting,” chronicles her family’s experience with “la vie francaise,” and how it transformed their lives. Crawford learned plenty about American culture, childrearing and family dynamics.

Your “a-ha” moment occurred during dinner with French family friends — as you were about to bolt out of the room to tend to your crying daughter, your friend said, “If there is no blood, don’t get up.” Why was this moment so significant for you?
Throughout the evening, I had been in awe all night of my friends’ children. They didn’t seem to need the same amount of attention, and they were extremely courteous. My daughter was freaking out about something and my instinct had always been to get up and run. My daughter calmed down.  She figured it out on her own, which we don’t let children do enough.
What changes did you make after that?
My husband and I defined rules. We said, “You’re children. Daddy and I are grown-ups and we’re not the same.”  I had to explain to them that they didn’t get a say in everything. I realized I was always trying to fit into my children’s world, whereas I never made them adapt to mine. We’re afraid to tell them to be quiet and say no.
And this brought the    family closer together?
It provided a little relief for everyone. One of the best changes was in the way they related to each other. All of a sudden, they were a team. If mommy or daddy laid down a rule they didn’t like, they had each other to commiserate with. They play together so much more now.
What are some of the things American parents are doing right?
American parents encourage individuality. I didn’t want to squash that in my kids. Our kids are boisterous, and I like that. There is a nice middle ground between the American and French examples.

The post Motherhood with a bit of ‘ooh la la’ appeared first on Metro.us.

Internet safety and digital parenting expert Hilary DeCesare answers our questions about the changes to the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act and what you need to do to make sure your little ones are safe while navigating the Internet.

Can you tell us a little bit more about COPPA?
The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act was enacted to protect children under 13 online, and the parents of children under 13 committed to keeping their kids safe online.
Last year the FTC amended it. What are the new rules?
They needed to keep up with evolving technology and changes in the way children use and access the Internet. This includes the ever-increasing use of mobile devices and social networking sites. The amendments, which go into effect July 1, will require operators of websites or online services that are either directed to children under 13 or have actual knowledge that they are collecting personal information from children under 13 to notify parents and get their verifiable consent before they can collect, use or disclose a child’s personal information. They will also be required to keep the information they collect from children secure. This information includes geo-locations, photos, videos and audio files that contain a child’s image or voice.
Last month, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano spoke to the importance of teaching “good cyber hygiene” to today’s youth. What does good cyber hygiene mean?
It’s also called cyber etiquette, or digital etiquette, and it means acting appropriately online. At young ages, children have no idea what “forever” means and therefore don’t understand the implications of what they post online. Unfortunately, if they happen to post this content on non-COPPA sites, the content is out there forever. Some examples of this are posting inappropriate pictures or other media, and posting personal information including full names, addresses, phone numbers, schools, etc. Posting the latter can even result in cyber-stalking, or predators gaining information about the child. Learning good cyber hygiene helps kids understand what is and isn’t appropriate, and trains them to be responsible digital citizens.

 What is the appropriate age for children to begin going online?
Every child is different. While some are happy to wait to go online until they are 13, many children wish to get on the Web at an earlier age. In fact, among very young children (up to 5 years old) who use the Internet, about 80 percent do so at least once a week. If children decide to go online at a young age, it is important they respect platform age minimums; for example, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter ask that you be 13 or older to use their sites, as they are not COPPA-compliant. If children are online in an appropriate space, it is good for them to learn how to be a responsible digital citizen.

The post How to keep your kids safe online appeared first on Metro.us.

Gender-reveal parties are so last season.

Fear not, moms-to-be: Being pregnant doesn’t mean you have to give up on the trends. We caught up with Elena Mauer, deputy editor of Thebump.com, to learn what first-time moms should look out for in the coming year.

Going green … with baby names
Pantone named emerald as the color of the year for 2013, so expect to see baby names like Hunter, Jade, Kelly and Forest increasing in popularity in the coming months. Even celebrities have been swept up in the trend (Drew Barrymore named her new baby girl Olive). “It’s neat that green and these other natural shades are inspiring baby names,” says Mauer.

Ultrasound parties
Parents-to-be are going beyond the usual baby shower or gender reveal party, which is when “you would cut a cake and the icing in the middle was either pink or blue, and that told you the baby’s gender,” Mauer says. Now more extravagant measures are popping up, including ultrasound parties, where a medically trained technician is invited to perform the procedure in the living room for all of your loved ones to see. Beware: This kind of celebration isn’t for everyone, as ultrasound parties can get expensive, so plan accordingly.  Simpler (yet still dramatic) measures include sending boxes stuffed with pink or blue balloons to family members.

Mommy-moons
Move over, baby-moons. Soon-to-be moms are taking what Thebump.com calls “mommy-moons,” mini getaways that pregnant women can take with their girlfriends (and not their husbands) before the arrival of the baby. Beach vacations, spa trips and pampering parties with manicures and pedicures are the most popular choices for women who want one final trip with their friends before their lives change forever. “Pregnant women are looking for ways to pamper themselves [and] spend time with their friends before the baby arrives and they become very busy,” says Mauer.

Royal baby gear
The whole world has been anticipating the arrival of Kate Middleton and Prince William’s baby. Designers have already begun incorporating Middleton’s style into some of their maternity wear collections, so pregnant women can emulate royal fashion. “We think the royal baby is going to be a trendsetter and he or she isn’t even alive yet,” says Mauer. It’s only a matter of time before we see the royal baby’s style replicated in department stores.

Neon nurseries
Gone are the days of the traditional pink and blue color scheme for baby rooms. “In 2012, there was a lot of neon in fashion,” Mauer says. “You saw it on the runway, and now people are bringing it into their nurseries.” Big and bold is the new motto. But don’t expect to paint the walls electric blue or buy a bright yellow crib, notes Mauer. You are more likely to see neon pink bedding, or a neon green table cover that adds mild pops of color and a bit of trendiness to the nursery — without going overboard.

The post Pregnancy trends for 2013 appeared first on Metro.us.

Lamott says she thought of writing “Some Assembly Required,” although “not in any kind of meaningful way,” and that it was her editor and Sam who pushed her to follow through with it. “I thought, ‘I don’t want to do it, I’d already done it,’” she remembers. “But when I mentioned it to Sam, he had so much enthusiasm for it. ‘Operating Instructions’ made such a difference to Sam’s sense of self — he says in the preface that he can feel my heart when he reads it — [and that] made me want to do it.”

“Operating Instructions” is a love letter to Sam, and the same can be said for “Some Assembly Required” and Jax — the little baby is very much at the heart of the memoir. Like any first-time grandparent, “I fell so desperately, pathetically in love with him,” recalls Lamott. Accordingly a big component of  “Some Assembly Required” is her struggle with letting go of control of Sam and his girlfriend Amy’s parenting process. “They get to do what I did,” she says, “which is raise my kid as I see fit. But if I got to, I’d either run alongside Sam and Jax or I’d be behind them in my car trying to throw them off my scent, with a newspaper between me and the wheel. But you don’t get to; you really have to let them go.”

A new (surprise) arrival
The arrival of Jax was a surprise to everyone involved, and Lamott says she had to comes to terms with being a grandmother a lot sooner than she expected. “Sam and I are quite close, and I’d always looked forward with enthusiasm to becoming a grandmother someday, in, say, 10 years from now,” she writes in the preface. “Amy was 20 when she delivered, and Sam was 19. They’re both a little young, but who asked me?”

How Sam helped
   
Sam’s contribution comes by way of his mother interviewing him, or through e-mails he would send her. “A lot of the interviews were natural,” she says. “He’s very sweet. He’d call to check in and I’d say, ‘Wait, wait! Let me get my laptop!’ and I’d start scribbling notes and get it verbatim because it would be, to me, very profound.” 

The post Anne Lamott helps her son figure out parenthood appeared first on Metro.us.

Understand what a fever is.  “A fever not a disease; it’s your body’s best mechanism to respond and defend itself to infection,” says Dr. Shubin. “You can’t ‘cure’ a fever, but you can try to cure what is happening to them.”
 
Look at the child. “We had three kids in the office today with fevers who were running around like nothing was wrong,” recounts Dr. Shubin. “So why would we interfere with the body’s natural response system?” Dr. Shubin says that the underlying principle for most doctors it to treat the child. If the child is miserable, treat him with an over-the-counter fever reducer. “Just know that if you do, it might make the child sick for longer.”
 
Keep your child hydrated. “Although most fevers are harmless, your child can become dehydrated. Keeping them hydrated will make them feel better.”
 
If your child is less than 2 months of age, take him or her to a hospital. A fever in a child this age is very concerning. “These children need to be seen right away as they might not be old enough to fight off infection,” he says. Another concern that warrants a trip to the hospital is if the child is becoming unresponsive.
 
Still worried? Call your pediatrician. “Doctors and their staffs have protocols to dispense advice over the phone. We can usually tell what is going on for peace of mind.”

The post Dos and don’ts for treating your child’s fever appeared first on Metro.us.

“What you need to do is observe your children,” Evans says. She advises that you watch your children for behavior that seems out of the ordinary: If they’re more depressed lately, if they don’t want to go to school or if they’re closing their Facebook page when you walk by, for example.

When you decide to broach the subject, do so gently. Evans suggested that parents talk “after dinner, [and] just bring it up. ‘Do you notice any kids at school being bullied? Has anybody ever tried to put you down or call you names at school? Is there anything like that going on?’ Bring it out in the open,” she says.

If you notice the taunting taking a turn for the worse, don’t just sit back and assume that kids will be kids. Evans recommends getting involved.

“Talk to teachers,” advises Evans. “Talk to the principal. [See if they can] have a ‘no bullying, zero tolerance for bullying at this school’ [policy]. You really have to have the administration involved and the kids have to be in student counseling. You can’t just shame them in front of the school.”

Your child might be embarrassed to learn you’re taking the issue up with the school, but there are ways to make sure he or she is protected. Evans recommends asking for confidentiality when doing so, and giving the following script to your child: “There are some children with problems at your school, so I am going to talk to people who can establish a plan to help stop the bullying.”

Evans also suggests that children know how to defend themselves — nonviolently —when facing a bully.

She says to tell your kids: “If someone says something mean to you, look them in the eye — you might even point your finger at them — [and say] ‘That’s what YOU say.’”

Kids, she adds, should also know where to turn for help. “[Have them] think of five people that they could go to if they were being bullied.”

A bully’s mind

For bullies to become bullies, they have most likely experienced bullying at home from an older sibling or even a parent.
   
“People who bully are very disconnected inside,” Evans says. “They don’t feel centered, they don’t feel OK and they don’t feel like they can make friends.”

The Internet and bullying

The advent of technology has led to a new kind of bullying: abuse over the Web, on sites like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Evans advises kids to “keep your social media private” and “report abuse.”?And let your statuses do the talking: “Keep a statement on your Facebook page: When people talk about people behind their back, they are usually lying.”

The post How to help when your child is bullied appeared first on Metro.us.

Pick hypoallergenic studs.
Some kids develop an allergic reaction to metals that are used to pierce the skin. Consider choosing plastic piercing studs, which won’t cause a reaction.

Clean the piercing daily.
Wipe the area with rubbing alcohol twice a day during the first two weeks and once a day for the following six weeks, says Tanya Altmann, M.D., author of “Mommy Calls.”

Parents brings moms and dads smart, fresh advice to help you raise healthy, happy kids. Check us out at Parents.com.

The post Thinking about getting your child’s ears pierced? Here are some pointers appeared first on Metro.us.

1. Playmobil Take Along Soccer Match: It’s like foosball, on the go! This fold-up game comes with six athlete figures who can kick and score just like real soccer stars. Kids can maneuver the goalies to defend incoming shots, too. Ages 5-10, $60, www.playmobilusa.com, available in April

2. Mod stickers by Brickstix: Kids love to use their imagination when building with blocks — and now, they can make their creations even more true-to-life with these stickers, which easily attach and detach (with no residue) to Legos and other brick sets. Brickstix was conceived by 9-year-old Greyson MacLean when he became frustrated with the conventional stickers that came with his toy sets. He’s since won a slew of toy inventor awards and even appeared on “Conan.” Ages 6 and up, $6, www.brickstix.com, now available

3. Lazer Tag: Turn that once-every-so-often trip to the laser tag arena into an at-home activity with this hi-tech digital system. Your kids can download the game’s free software onto their iPhones, slap their phones into the Lazer Tag blaster and begin shooting baddies through the lens of their new virtual reality. Ages 8 and up, $70 for two blasters, www.hasbrotoyshop.com, available in August

4. Twister Dance: Twister’s undergone some changes since we last shouted “left foot blue.” Here, the pods are off the mat, so you can take the game wherever you go. Players can also groove to songs by Britney Spears and use the speaker as an iPod dock. Ages 8 and up, $35, www.hasbro.com, available in the fall.

The post Toy Fair 2012: What your kids will be clamoring for this year appeared first on Metro.us.

“As kids get older, they might develop really specific interests, but for the really young children, I think it’s helpful to experience a wide range of things,” says Dr. Jennifer Goldberg, director of elementary education at Fairfield University. “More and more there are camps that specialize in one area, but still offer other activities. But I would follow up with that. Sometimes camps advertise the variety, but they don’t really invest in those other activities.”

Nancy Heraghty is director of Destination Science camps, with locations in four different states. While children in the DS camp spend the bulk of their time in science-related activities, Heraghty is also adamant about investing in traditional summer fun activities. Along with robot building, the camp features relay races, capture the flag and other unabashed glee. “We want them to experience the friendship and the lighthearted joy of summer,” she explains. “For us, it’s as much about building relationships as it is about learning science.”

When choosing an arts camp

Arts camps can be a great way for kids to learn a new skill or further explore an existing talent. Just make sure that your child is genuinely interested in the area and that the program is dynamic enough to hold his or her attention.

“It’s important to look at the structure of the activities. You should ask: Will the child spend a lot of time waiting for their turn, or will the time be structured, so that they’re really involved?” says Goldberg. “I encourage people to really examine their child’s comfort level in that area. If it’s something new, it will be important to have a smaller teacher to student ratio.”

Note to parents:

You need to relax.
   
“If I had a 4- or a 5-year-old, my advice would be to relax a little. Let the kid find what he likes about camp. You have to make sure they’re in a safe, fun environment, and then just let them breathe,” says Howard Betterman, owner and director of Sesame/Rockwood Camps in Pennsylvania. “The older they get, the parent might notice a strong interest. But there’s always the possibility of doing a one-week specialty camp, and a couple weeks of a more traditional model.”

Staff, variety make for happy campers

Connie Coutellier can tell you all you need to know about the summer day camp business. She wrote the book on that subject — literally. “Day Camp from Day One: A Hands-On Guide for Day Camp Administrators” is an industry standard. She is the former president of the American Camp Association and the former programs director for Camp Fire USA.  

What are the basics to look for when choosing a summer day camp?

I would certainly want to know that they’re accredited by the American Camp Association. Not all are. They need to go through a rigorous process of 300 standards to do so. 

Does the ACA certify specialized camps, like music or soccer camps?

Yes. And in that case, you want to know that they’re doing other things besides soccer or music. They may be spending the majority of their time on soccer or horseback riding or swimming, but what other kinds of things do they do? Variety is really important, especially the younger the child is.

What’s the core ingredient that makes for a great day camp?

Staffing. When a child is in a group with staff that is caring and concerned and looking out for that child’s safety, that child is going to have a great experience.

If you were personally looking to place your child in a day camp, what are the things you would look for?

First, I would look at their staffing process: screening and training, how old they are, the ratio of staff to camper. I’d want them to be able to articulate their activities to me, and I’d want to make sure my child is interested in them. If I was a working parent, I’d want to know if there is extended-day possibilities. That is key for so many people. 

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Parents brings moms and dads smart, fresh advice to help you raise healthy, happy kids. Check us out at Parents.com.

The post Tips to cure your kids’ cabin fever appeared first on Metro.us.

Start now.  The AAPD recommends that every child visit a dentist by his or her first birthday and establish a regular office. The earlier the visit, the better the chances of preventing dental problems, which can source fear for visits to come.

Test the waters. Parents with toddlers who have not yet seen a dentist should consider a “get acquainted” visit to introduce your child to the dental office before the first appointment.
Choose words wisely. Be careful about using scary words. Check-ups and 90 percent of first visits do not have anything to do with “hurt,” so don’t even use the word!

Time it out. Select an appointment time when your child is alert and rested.

Be confident. Children often perceive a parent’s anxiety. They also tolerate procedures best when their parents understand what to expect and prepare them for the experience. As parents become more confident, so will the child.

Make “pediatric” a priority. Pediatric dentists are the pediatricians of dentistry, with two to three years of specialized training in treating children beyond dental school. Plus, because they see only children, their office environment is set up for children.

Manage expectations. Before the visit, explain that the dentist is a friend and will help your child keep his or her teeth healthy. Reinforce that the visit will be fun.

Share a story. Read your child a story about a character that had a good dental visit.

Offer control. Give your child some control over the dental visit. Such choices as “Will you hold your bear or should I?” or “Which color toothbrush do you like?” will make the visit more enjoyable. 

The post Take the scare out of the dentist’s chair appeared first on Metro.us.

Tell your doctor what you are nervous about
“You may have heard a story or rumor from a friend that left you scared of childbirth,” notes Dr. Hill. “By discussing it with your doctor, you may find that the story is just a myth.”

Have a birth plan
But be flexible. “You should think about what your ideal birth looks like and communicate that to your doctor,” says Dr. Hill about this all-important game plan. “But always know that your birth may take a different route — and the new plan may be equally amazing.”
 
Consider hiring a doula
“She may be a certified birth assistant or simply a close friend,” says Dr. Hill. “Your doula will help you stay relaxed and feel supported during your magical event.”
 
Get advice from other new moms and trusted friends
“Someone who has recently gone through the experience will have lots of helpful hints for what to bring to the hospital, how to know you are in labor or how to prepare the baby’s new home,” says Dr. Hill.

Keep the communication open with your partner
Although all eyes will be on you, “remember he may be even more nervous than you are,” she says. “The two of you are a team, but he may not know what you need unless you tell him.”

The post So you’re nervous about delivery: Now what? appeared first on Metro.us.

Portions

Bread   
You: 1 slice
A preschooler: ½ slice
   
Cereal
You: 1 cup
A preschooler: ? cup
   
Pasta
You: ½ cup cooked
A preschooler: ¼ cup cooked
   
Cooked veggies
You: ½ cup
A preschooler: ¼ cup
   
Applesauce
You: ½ cup
A preschooler: ¼ cup
   
Low-fat milk
You: 1 cup
A preschooler: ½ cup
   
Cheese   
You: 1½ ounces
A preschooler: ¾ ounce
   
Burger
You: 3-ounce patty
A preschooler: 1-ounce patty

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Schools sign up to conserve energy
K-12 schools in America spend an excess of $7.5 billion on energy costs each year, with as much as $2.25 billion (30 percent) being used unnecessarily, according to Energystar.gov. The Green Cup Challenge looks to change that. More than 100 schools across the country have vowed to slash their energy costs this year. Come mid-February the challenge ends, but every school that participates is deemed a winner for reducing energy use. Learn more at www.greencupchallenge.net.
 
Say ‘oui’ to camp
Summer is coming; and if you want to give your children a leg up in foreign language, enroll them in the French Institute Alliance Francaise’s French summer day camp programs. Native French-speakers will teach your young ones (ages 1 to 15) about French language and culture through theater, culinary events, local field trips and other creative ventures. Kids and teens at any level of fluency can sign up for the camps, which begin in June. For more information, visit www.fiaf.org/daycamp.

The post Parenting notes: Have your kids learn French this summer appeared first on Metro.us.

Cribs: Drop-side cribs can no longer be sold, and a newer, safer generation of cribs is now on the market. Even if an older crib looks safe, it may not have been tested with the most recent safety standards or could have loose or missing hardware, creating gaps that could trap a child.

Baby walkers: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against using baby walkers altogether, as they can actually delay walking. If you do choose to use one, stick to new models. Older walkers may not have features that can prevent the product from rolling down stairs, which is the biggest risk.

Car seats: A used car seat that isn’t up to safety standards or is missing parts may not protect your child in a crash, and there’s no way to be sure that the seat wasn’t involved in a previous accident — something that may have led to invisible damage.

Parents brings moms and dads smart, fresh advice to help you raise healthy, happy kids. Check us out at Parents.com.

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Ask for numbing cream
Certain sprays and creams can help take the pain out of a jab. When you book the
appointment, find out what your doctor recommends.

Let your child be in charge
The more control he has, the less scary the visit will be. Ask which arm he’d like the shot in or if he wants to sit on the table or in your lap.

Provide distractions
Give your kid a bottle of
bubbles during the injection. The act of blowing will relax him and give him something else to focus on.

Stay calm
Don’t use high-anxiety words such as “hurt” or “needle.” Instead, talk about something fun: “Do you want to go to the library after this?”

Parents brings moms and dads smart, fresh advice to help you raise healthy, happy kids. Check us out at Parents.com

The post Your child due for a vaccine? Tips to ease the ouch appeared first on Metro.us.

Don’t jump to conclusions
When our children cry at a birthday party or the first day of school, we race ahead to the future and catastrophize that they will always be this way and they’ll never be able to handle these moments. Snap back to the present. Things may be hard now, but trust your children: With your help and acceptance, they will move through these struggles.

Choose your support wisely
If your social network consists of people who compare and contrast their kids and worry about their 5-year-old not getting into Harvard, keep looking! Parenting is hard enough without other parents raising the stakes and your blood pressure. Seek out other parents who share your values and desire for sanity.

Allow your child to struggle (a little)  
We race ahead trying to remove every obstacle for our children, every forgotten lunch box and umbrella. Like us, kids learn best from their mistakes, so let them have them. Resilience is like a muscle: It benefits from practice.

Allow yourself some worry time
Worry is a natural part of life and of love. If your worry is becoming the default mode every day, make it wait for your attention. Schedule five minutes each day when you go into that dark tunnel, and if worry comes at you at other times of the day, tell it that it’s not time yet. When it’s worry time, make two columns in your head (or on paper): Fears on one side, facts on the other. Fear always gets the story wrong — recite the facts of the matter.

The post How to not be an anxious parent appeared first on Metro.us.

Windchill: 32°F and up
Verdict: It’s safe to play outside.
Safety tip: Dress your child in layers, with a hat and mittens or gloves (and watch big kids, who may ditch their coats). Babies and young toddlers develop hypothermia faster than older children, so bundle them in one layer more than you would wear.

Windchill: 13° to 31°F
Verdict: Be cautious.
Safety tip: It’s okay for your kid to be out. But watch for signs that he or she’s too cold, such as shivering or fatigue, and take indoor breaks every 20 to 30 minutes to warm up. Your kid’s body temperature will drop much faster if he or she gets wet, so swap soggy gloves and hats for dry ones.

Windchill: Below 13°F
Verdict: It’s unsafe for outdoor play.
Safety tip: Keep him or her inside today. As the windchill factor approaches 0°F, there’s a serious risk of frostbite.

The post Guide for when it’s too cold for kids to play outdoors appeared first on Metro.us.

“Girls are bombarded consistently by messages — starting at very early ages — of what’s supposed to be girly,”?Hartstein says. “They get pigeonholed into thinking that girly means pink and dolls and playing house. There isn’t a lot of information given at young ages that promotes any encouragement to play with trucks, or go to science and math. They get very mixed messages all the way around. And those messages start at 2, 3 and 4 and then develop into concrete identities as these kids get older.
 They may think that the only way to succeed in life is to be pretty, or to have the right clothes, or [that] being a little geeky is bad and no one will like you. They get this message early on that doesn’t promote real exploration of things that might make them feel good or be excited — they get something superficial.”

But there are ways to ensure your daughter grows up with a healthy mind-set. Hartstein recommends the following:

Know what’s out there
“Parents need to know what messages are being given to their kids and they are also giving to their kids. They might watch all these movies about the princess being saved by the prince … little kids think that that’s reality. You want to talk to them about how they might be able to help themselves in situations and really promote a sense of awareness and ways that they can be self-sufficient. And kind of piggybacking on that, what are your own feelings about what those messages are? [Kids] learn from you.”

Let her choose her interests
“You want to encourage exploration in all ways. Don’t discourage your daughter from wanting to play with what are typically boy toys. Toys are toys. I think encouraging exploration of all that is really something that parents need to be able to do and feel comfortable with.”

Have conversations
“Talk a lot. Talk about what your kids are seeing, what their interpretation is of it, what it means to them. Start those conversations often and early.”

Get the whole family involved
“Dads have as much of a role here. They’re just as important.”

The post Raising a daughter in the age of the princess appeared first on Metro.us.

Jacqueline says: If your child’s nightmares become frequent enough to disturb sleep patterns to a degree that interferes with his daily life, call a pediatrician. Don’t let your child get in the habit of sleeping in your bed! This sends the message that his room is unsafe.
 
Dear Twins,
My husband and I are expecting another baby in a few months. I’m worried about how my 4-year-old will handle it. She’s been the center of attention until now, and pretty soon she will have to share the spotlight. Any suggestions?
– Signed, No sibling rivalry

Kerry says: Explain in advance that another baby will be joining the family. Reassure her that you’ll always love her just the same but that you will need to give the newborn lot of time and attention. Let her know that she can help out as much as she wants.
Jackie says: I agree. I also suggest that you and your child begin reading books together about having a new baby. Try practicing what baby care will be like with a doll.

Dear Twins,
My best friend’s 5-year-old daughter lies all the time! She tells these ridiculous lies to her mother, and I’m worried about the effect this is all having on my own daughter. I tell my friend that she is doing a disservice  her daughter by not challenging the lies, but my friend insists it’s harmless and she’ll grow out of it.
– Signed, Sick of all the lying

Jacqueline says: Teach your child why it is important to tell the truth. Talk with her about other ways that you will deal with mistakes so that she knows not to be afraid to be honest. And let her know that you are pleased when you hear her telling the truth.
Kerry says: Tell the truth yourself. This includes not breaking promises to your child, because to her that seems like telling a lie.

Dear Twins,
My 2-year-old has temper tantrums constantly! I can’t seem to stop him from behaving this way no matter what I try. I find I just lose my cool and yell. – Signed, Want to scream myself
 
Jacqueline says: You don’t want to lose your cool. When your child is in this state, he’s unable to listen to reason. Just sit down with him while he’s having his tantrum, hold him. He will calm down more quickly and find your embrace comforting. After he calms down, talk about what happened.
Kerry says: I say don’t give in to unreasonable demands of your screaming child. By conceding, you’ll only be teaching your child that pitching a fit is the way to get what he wants. If you’re in a public place, I suggest you leave with your child until he gets a grip.

– Kerry and Jacqueline Donelli are twin sisters and filmmakers of the comedy “Titillating Steven.” They are  pursuing a master’s degree and then a doctorate in Mental Health Counseling in NYC.

The post Nightmares, tantrums, lies: The joys of parenting appeared first on Metro.us.

Need a laugh to get you through the day? Of course you do. Check out Nickmom.com, a new blog from the folks behind Nickelodeon with funny stories, videos and pictures. At the end of next year, NICKMOM will launch a four-hour block of programming on Nick Jr. with talk shows, stand-up comedy and other content geared toward today’s hip, tech-savvy mom (who likely grew up watching Nickelodeon).

Preorder your Cody Simpson doll

If your little girl or guy is obsessed with Australia’s answer to Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, you’ll be pleased to know that you can now preorder the hotly anticipated Cody Simpson doll at a Toys R Us near you. There are two Cody dolls to choose from: One’s dressed in a T-shirt and khakis, and the other wears a jean jacket and black pants. Both come with sunglasses, a microphone and a guitar pick so that even in doll form, the YouTube sensation can still rock the house — your house. 

The post Parenting notes for the week of November 28 appeared first on Metro.us.

According to the New York Post, Imprescia’s issues with York Avenue Preschool began when her daughter was forced to spend too much time slumming with intellectually inferior two- and three-year-olds, her personal growth hampered by their mundane inanities:

The suit, filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, notes that "getting a child into the Ivy League starts in nursery school" and says the Upper East Side school promised Imprescia it would "prepare her daughter for the ERB, an exam required for admission into nearly all the elite private elementary schools."

But "it became obvious [those] promises were a complete fraud," the suit says. "Indeed, the school proved not to be a school at all but just one big playroom."

Imprescia withdrew her daughter from the school after three weeks, only to find that the $19,000-a-year tuition was nonrefundable; she is suing to get the money back.

The lawsuit also points out that data exists that shows "entry into a good nursery school guarantees more income than entry into an average school." This woman’s got it figured out: Life is a rat race, and the only way to beat the other rats is to start running as soon as you are physically able to! (Or even before! Quick, parents: What prenatal classes will get your kid into Princeton?) (via the New York Post)

The post Mom sues York Ave. preschool for ruining kid’s Ivy League chances appeared first on Metro.us.

One of his signature issues has been expanding the “father quota” in Norway’s parental leave program, encouraging dads to stay home with their babies for at least 10 weeks at full pay.

Now that his justice minister and family affairs minister have joined Oslo’s parade of male pram pushers, Stoltenberg is no less enthusiastic about the program.

“I miss them,” he said,  outside a cafe where the three leaders and the two babies were about to meet for the first time in 2011.

“But it can’t be that men are more indispensable to the workplace —  or to the government — than women.”

The head of Norway’s Labour-led coalition recalled his own strolls in the park with a newborn in 1989 and added: “I have never met so many women as I did then.”

Once in the cafe, Justice Minister Knut Storberget said he’d paid little attention to prosecution issues dominating the media since his leave began on Jan. 1.

“I have been living in a bubble with my baby,” the 46-year-old said, “so it will be very strange to go back to work, even though I’ve been a minister for almost six years.”

He has until March 31. The family affairs minister, 33-year-old Audun Lysbakken, left work on Nov. 29 and is due back March 21.

Since both have been temporarily replaced by women, two thirds of Norway’s active cabinet is now female.

Equal opportunities

Both parents in this country get an automatic two weeks off after a birth. Then they are offered a combined 46 weeks of fully paid leave or 56 weeks at 80 percent of their normal pay.

Ten weeks are reserved for the father and are lost if he remains on the job. Many fathers take more for themselves as their wives head back to work.

Later this year, the maximum leave will expand to 57 weeks, with 12 weeks to the father.

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