The tabloids are speculating about Kris and Bruce Jenner: Are they headed for divorce? If so, then they would each eventually join the legions of people who have had to start over. Dating after a divorce can be challenging, whether you are in the public eye or not. Two simple rules of thumb can help you push forward into new romantic territory.

First, avoid comparing the person you are dating to your ex. While it is tempting to measure them for better or worse against  your former partner, the real goal is to focus on how they make you feel about yourself when you’re with them. Evaluating them based on how you felt about your ex rather than on who they are means  you will wind up either regretting what you lost or angry about what you missed out on all those years.

That will mire you in the negativity of your former marriage — keeping the pain and loss of divorce alive — instead of letting go and moving on with a new flame. Stay focused on building a new relationship and leave your past where it belongs — behind you.

Second, avoid bad-mouthing your ex —  especially to the person you are dating. This is a difficult one, because most people come away from divorce angry about what went wrong and wanting to talk about it. Be mindful about who you vent to: Blaming and criticizing could scare off your new partner. They could wonder what you might say about them if they did something to upset you. There are two sides to every story, so as much as possible try to present a balanced picture when you are speaking about your former marriage.

Whether you are famous or not, when dealing with the aftermath of divorce this old adage can be helpful: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. When you talk negatively, you keep bad feelings alive. When you talk positively, you put them to rest. The ultimate goal is to get on with your new life in a better place for what you gained from your old one.

Keep these rules in mind and you will be equipped to leave the past in its place and move on with your exciting new dating life.

— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

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When Ben Affleck accepted the Oscar for Best Picture, he thanked his wife Jennifer Garner and said that marriage is hard work, but it is the best kind of work. He’s right — it takes great effort to find the balance between each person’s needs and desires. Say football is your thing — it always has been, ever since you were a little kid watching at home with your dad. It’s hard for you to understand why your new partner has no interest in it. You want to go to games together, talk about plays and plan weekends around the tailgate parties. If the answer is “no,” what do you do? Ask for a compromise.

One couple I worked with had a basic problem: She wanted to stick to low-key staples like pizza and hot dogs, while he wanted to wine and dine on fancy, gourmet meals.  The difference in their tastes was a source of constant bickering and resentment in their relationship.

Compromising is key in any relationship, even if — as Ben Affleck pointed out rather awkwardly  — it takes work. In your relationship, you have to find a balance between your own pleasures and the things you love while respecting the things your partner is into, as well.  Is there a way to include your significant other but not force-feed them?

This is where a little bit can really go a long way. You remember when you were a child and your mother wanted you to eat broccoli, right? It looked awful, but you had to have some to appease her, so you took a small bite. With that taste, you showed her you respected her wishes enough to open your mind a little bit.

The same thing holds true in your relationship. Acknowledge to your partner that you understand and accept that football or pizza is not his or her cup of tea. When the playoffs roll around or a special event comes up, say that his or her company is important to you. Be clear that you know it is a sacrifice, but that a small portion — one game, or one slice of pizza — would mean a lot.

Doing this means you can share your passions and interests while respecting your partner’s desires. The key is to encourage them to be open and try to appreciate what it is that you find so fascinating. Who knows, your partner just might like it. Sharing pleasures and being open to each other helps to turn the wheels for more mutual passion. Doesn’t sound like such hard work, does it?

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