If you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer, you know that the journey isn’t over once the cancer is out. With proper planning, however, reconstructive surgery can be a positive step toward recovery. The important thing is to fully explore all options and find the best one for you. “Before deciding on [a] mastectomy, discuss your options with your board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon who specializes in breast reconstruction,” says Dr. Andrew P. Ordon, F.A.C.S., an aesthetic plastic and reconstructive surgeon with a private practice in New York City. “There are a number of options based on the type of tumor and how aggressive the cancer is, and the stage of the disease. There’s also the option of immediate or delayed reconstruction,” he adds.

There are minimally invasive choices for women who have a less aggressive form of the disease. “Less aggressive tumor types would be candidate for nipple-sparing mastectomy and implant. Also, placement of a tissue expander [that allows] serial skin expansion with eventual placement of a final prosthesis is the most simple and least invasive, but it involves multiple stages.”

If a whole breast is reconstructed, doctors spare no expense to make it look and feel as normal as possible for the patient.”With whole breast removal, nipple areola can be reconstructed at a later date using a number of great options taking skin from another part of the body.”

Don’t Fear It
Diagnosed or not, Dr. Ordon urges women to not fear breast cancer. “Today’s results with breast reconstruction are better then ever,” he emphasizes. “Breast cancer is a treatable disease when detected early, so don’t ignore any symptoms you’re experiencing out of fear of losing a sensitive part of you.”

Finding Support
Look Good Feel Better, a free support program for cancer patients, recently launched an app that gives users tips and ideas for skin care, make-up, wearing wigs and dressing after a mastectomy. Such support helps patients regain self-esteem and confidence, which is invaluable for a person battling the disease. For more info, go to www.lookgoodfeelbetter.org

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The former secretary of state has shown support for civil unions in the past, but this is the first time she has publicly thrown her support behind same-sex marriage.

“I believe America is at its best when we champion the freedom and dignity of every human being,” Clinton said in the video.

She goes on to recall a conversation she had with a young Tunisian boy who asked how America could teach his country to respect the rights of LGBT citizens.

“That’s what was in my mind as I engaged in some pretty tough conversations with foreign leaders who did not accept that human rights applied to everyone — gay and straight,” Clinton said. “LGBT Americans are our colleagues, our teachers, our soldiers, our friends, our loved ones. And they are full and equal citizens and deserve the rights of citizenship — that includes marriage.”

“We are honored to have Secretary Clinton’s moving statement as part of our Americans for Marriage Equality series,” HRC President Chad Griffin wrote in a blog post. “Now that she has left office and can speak publicly about the issue that is so important to all of us, Hillary shares her experience as secretary [of state] and what she learned while representing our country around the world, and what she has come to believe.”

Clinton’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, also came out in support of gay marriage in an opinion piece published in The Washington Post on March 13. While in office in 1996, he signed into law an act defining marriage as between a man and woman; however, he wrote that the measure should be overturned by the Supreme Court.

Last week, Ohio Republican Sen. Rob Portman made headlines when he reversed his position and announced his support of same-sex marriage, attributing his “change of heart” to his gay son.

The Supreme Court is set to hear arguments against the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act on March 27.

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The question
I’m 45 and I’m going through a difficult period in my life now. I’m having trouble controlling my adult daughter and dealing with aging parents, and I feel like I’m making my husband unhappy. I’m so stressed out.Whatever I do seems wrong. Any suggestions?

There’s a name for people who are excessively preoccupied with the needs of others at the expense of their own. It’s called “codependent.” Codependency is often characterized by low self-esteem, people-pleasing tendencies, emotional reactivity, excessive guilt, feelings of over-responsibility and a desire to fix and control others.

If you are codependent, you’re in good company — many people demonstrate some degree of codependency, especially if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, which many people do. The good news is that codependency need not be a chronic condition. With a little awareness, you can start to develop new habits and breathe a bit easier.

Let’s start with your daughter. Unless she has substantial disabilities that prevent her from taking care of herself, she is an adult and, by definition, responsible for her own life. Whether or not you approve of her life choices, they are hers to make and learn from, even if she falls. Letting go and setting boundaries can be one of the most difficult but important acts of love a parent can do. It communicates a subtle, often unspoken trust in the adult child’s abilities to make decisions.

Regarding your parents: While it may not be easy, you’re not alone. According to recent statistics, more than 48 million Americans are currently caring for aging parents (and spending a fortune in the process). And yes, it is stressful. If you are feeling overly responsible, try to share responsibilities with other family members and utilize community resources whenever possible. I suggest visiting the Administration on Aging’s website (www.aoa.gov) for information about services in your area.

Relationships with significant others (like your husband) is where codependency can be most insidious. There isn’t enough space in my column to do this justice so I’ll try to summarize. We are responsible for our own feelings. No one can strong-arm you into feeling joy. Yes, our actions have consequences on our relationships. But how others respond to and interpret our behavior is their choice, just as how we respond to their behavior is ours.

Finally, and most importantly, is the relationship with yourself. Take time to nurture yourself and reflect on how excessive people-pleasing and care-taking deplete you. Ask yourself questions like, “What do I want?” and “How do you I feel (about such and such)?” Since self-neglecting behaviors are often rooted in our families, consulting a therapist or attending a free Codependents Anonymous (www.coda.org) meeting may be helpful.

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Pope Benedict, in his first public comments since he announced that he would become the first pontiff in centuries to resign, on Wednesday said he was fully aware of the gravity of his decision but confident that it would not hurt the Church.

“Continue to pray for me, for the Church and for the future pope,” he said in unscripted remarks at the start of his weekly general audience, one of his last public appearances before he resigns on February 28.

The pope, who looked and sounded strong, was interrupted several times by thunderous applause from the some 8,000 faithful and tourists who packed the vast audience hall.

In brief, prepared remarks that mirrored those he read to stunned cardinals when he announced his decision on Monday, the pope said God would continue to guide the Church because it was much more than its earthly leader.

“I took this decision in full freedom for the good of the Church after praying for a long time and examining by conscience before God,” he said.

He said he was, “well aware of the gravity of such an act but at the same time aware of not being able to carry out my (papal) ministry with the physical and spiritual force that it requires”.

Benedict said he was sustained by the “certainty that the Church belongs to Christ, who will never stop guiding it and caring for it”.

He said that “he felt almost physically” the affection and kindness he had received since he announced the decision.

Later on Wednesday, an Ash Wednesday Mass that was originally scheduled to have taken place in a small church in Rome, has been moved to St Peter’s Basilica so more people can attend.

Unless the Vatican changes the pope’s schedule, it will be his last public Mass.

Meanwhile, the conclave to decide the successor to Pope Benedict will start as early as March 15, the Vatican said on Wednesday.

The conclave, when cardinals gather to elect a new pope, will start between 15 and 20 days from when the papal seat is vacated on February 28, Vatican Spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told a news conference.

Pope Benedict stunned the Church on Monday when he announced the first papal abdication in centuries. Lombardi said Catholics should not be disoriented by Benedict’s decision.

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