Whether you’re tailgating before the show or rocking out inside the venue, summer concerts are a ready-made soundtrack that is just awaiting your participation to build memories. Here are the biggest and best bets for your concert dollar.

Hot 97 Summer Jam
While we usually use this space to lightly make fun of a concert bill, there’s just so many great acts on here that we need to use all of the space to tell you who’s playing: Wu-Tang Clan, Chris Brown, Kendrick Lamar, 2 Chainz, Miguel, Wale, Fabolous, A$AP Rocky, French Monatana and Joe Budden!
June 2, MetLife Stadium

Paul McCartney
Ellen DeGeneres once introduced Sir Paul at the Grammys by saying, “The next performer needs no introduction.” True to her word, she left the stage and let it be for one of the last living Beatles. We’d like to do the newspaper equivalent.
June 8 and 10, Barclays Center

One Direction
If seeing the New Kids/98 Degrees/Boyz II Men show bummed you out, go see a boy band that includes actual boys.
June 28 and 29, Nikon at Jones Beach

Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars has turned his “Unorthodox Jukebox” into a 1980s time machine, which works out just fine for his opening act, Fitz and the Tantrums, who have also set the dial for the 1980s with their brand new “More Than Just a Dream.” Wear your neon jams and join them.
June 29, Barclays Center

Justin Timberlake and Jay-Z: 20/20 World Tour
Arguably the biggest tour of the summer, it remains to be seen how Jay-Z and JT will split the stage on The 20/20 World Tour. We can only hope that there are 20 songs from each artist, rather than a staged recreation of the best moments of ABC’s most popular investigative journalism TV show. That said, it would be awesome if they did that for the first few shows and then switched it up by the time they got here.
July 19 and 20, Yankee Stadium

Americanarama Festival of Music
For a genre that takes itself a little too seriously when at its worst, these three giants of Americana prove that a sense of humor is necessary to separate the wheat from the chaff. By calling their tour Americanarama, Bob Dylan, Wilco and My Morning Jacket are having a good ole time.
July 27, Nikon at Jones Beach

Justin Bieber
Who would have thought at this time last year that the Justin Bieber tour would become the equivalent of the Rolling Stones’ 1972 tour in terms of rumored debauchery? We can only hope he’s still around for his own 50 and Counting tour in 2060.
Aug. 2, Barclays Center

Beyonce
Beyonce was going to release a new album this year. Remember that? Seems like she might not have remembered either, as Mrs. Carter sets out on the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour before her new songs have even hit the market. It’s kind of like when it’s the end of the school year, and absolutely all of your friends are psyched to be done with exams, but you’ve still got one left that you totally forgot to study for. But in this case, Beyonce can just say, “I’m Beyonce, I don’t have to take the final.”
Aug. 3, 4, 5, Barclays Center

Under the Influence of Music Tour
Wiz Khalifa, A$AP Rocky, B.o.B. and Trinidad James are a stellar lineup, but we have to wonder: Now that marijuana is pretty much totally legal, when are musicians going to stop giving their tours titles with little winking references to weed?
Aug. 6, Nikon at Jones Beach

Kenny Chesney
One thing that has not changed in America for the past 100 years: Cowboys are still really good at herding large groups of mammals into confined open-air structures. Eric Church, Eli Young Band and Kacey Musgraves round out this rootin’-tootin’ bill.
Aug. 10, MetLife Stadium

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Nothing makes me feel older than writing about Taylor Swift’s love life, but here goes: The singer has reportedly set her sights on pro surfer John John Florence, according to Life & Style. The magazine reports that their budding relationship is still mostly on a telecommunications level.

“He and Taylor have been text-messaging,” a source says. “Apparently she contacted him. I don’t think they have hung out yet. They’ve just been chatting. John John doesn’t want to ruin things, so he’s being careful not to say too much.” He’s apparently taking that job very seriously. When asked by an Australian TV reporter earlier this month about “a little bit of something” she had heard about him and Swift, Florence responded, “It’s kind of a secret thing going on right now. Can’t bust it out in the public just yet.”
So what do we know about John John? He’s 20, from Hawaii and, according to Internet lore, started surfing with his father at 6 months and was riding on his own by 3. Judging from his photos, I wouldn’t mind if Swift kept this up — we need more hunky surfers in The Word.

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Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are reunited after his latest stint filming in Australia, and the couple reportedly celebrated by hitting up their favorite local dive bar, L.A.’s Ye Rustic Inn, according to E! News. “They seemed really happy to be with each other. Rob and Kristen were having so much fun together,” a source says. “They sat in the back of the bar in a booth and were laughing. At one point, they were standing at the bar and were just being normal, as any boyfriend and girlfriend would be with each other. They were touchy-feely. She was holding on to his jacket and had her hand on his back. They were just being cute.”

Just because Lindsay Lohan is facing 90 days in rehab doesn’t mean she can’t keep cultivating her love life. The troubled starlet is rumored to be dating NYC-based club promoter and musician Avi Snow, according to E! News, though sources say the pair’s relationship is still in “the early stages.” But he certainly seems to be getting a lot of time with Lohan before she gets locked up: Snow was reportedly one of the passengers on the private jet that whisked Lohan to court Monday morning, and after she had her latest mug shot taken the next day she hurried over to a show Snow’s band put on at a private Santa Monica club.

Taylor Swift has reportedly set her sights on 20-year-old pro surfer John John Florence, according to Life & Style, though their budding relationship is still mostly on a telecommunications level. “He and Taylor have been text messaging,” a source says. “Apparently she contacted him. I don’t think they have hung out yet. They’ve just been chatting. John John doesn’t want to ruin things, so he’s being careful not to say too much.” He’s apparently taking that job very seriously. When asked by an Australian TV reporter earlier this month about “a little bit of something” she had heard about him and Swift, Florence responded, “It’s kind of a secret thing going on right now. Can’t bust it out in the public just yet.”

Bad news for Ryan Gosling fans: “The Place Beyond the Pines” star plans to take a break from acting, according to the Huffington Post. “I’ve been doing it too much. I’ve lost perspective on what I’m doing. I think it’s good for me to take a break and reassess why I’m doing it and how I’m doing it,” he says. “I need a break from myself as much as I imagine the audience does.”

 Jon Hamm‘s physical attributes are causing quite a stir on the “Mad Men” set, according to the New York Daily News. “This season takes place in the 1960s, where the pants are very tight and leave little to the imagination,” a source tells the newspaper. “Jon’s impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear.” And while the wardrobe mandate is garnering plenty of giggles, Hamm’s rep is not amused. “It is ridiculous and not really funny at all,” the rep tells the newspaper. “I’d appreciate you taking the high road and not resorting to something childish like this that’s been blogged about 1,000 times.”

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Prosecutors in Lindsay Lohan’s latest legal battle have reportedly offered the troubled starlet a plea deal that would let her avoid jail time — but she doesn’t want it, according to TMZ. Sources tell the Web site that if Lohan agrees to plead guilty to as-yet-unspecified charges, she’d only have to serve 90 days under house arrest and attend a mandatory rehab program. But Lohan is reportedly adamant that she will avoid any punishment whatsoever and has rejected the plea deal, the sources say. Her trial is set to begin March 18.

With Justin Bieber’s bummer of a week in London behind him, at least one mystery has been solved: the Canadian pop star’s penchant for wearing a gas mask in public. “The gas mask Justin has been wearing around London is a joke between his friends, but people are starting to take it seriously,” a source tells Us Weekly. “All his friends take turns wearing it as a joke to throw off the paparazzi. It’s not a serious thing, they’re just having fun around London with it.”

Taylor Swift is doing everything she can to avoid her fear of ending up alone. “I don’t want to end up being awful and intolerable. Alone. Laying in a marble bathtub by myself, like sad, with a glass of wine complaining that my life ended up alone because I pushed everyone away,” she tells InStyle UK. “The typical Hollywood sad cliché of the poor lonely starlet with no one because she put up all these walls and didn’t trust anyone, that’s my fear. And that’s why I live my life the way I live my life because I’d so much rather feel everything than end up like that.” She does have friends, though, she insists — but being friends with guys has proved problematic for her. “I’m a girls’ girl. I have guy friends but the problem with having guy friends is, like, I always get [romantically] linked to them,” Swift says. “And they’ll end up in a slide show of people I’ve apparently dated on the Internet.”

While her fiancée, Liam Hemsworth, is in his native Australia spending time with family, Miley Cyrus finds herself doing damage control, taking to Twitter to quash rumors that their relationship is in trouble. “I am so sick of L.A. And sick of the lies that come with it,” she posted last week. “I didn’t call of my wedding.” Of course, being spotted out and about in Hollywood without her engagement ring on probably don’t help. But a source assures E! News that all is well in the Hemsworth-Cyrus household. “She is not listening to what everyone is saying about her and Liam,” the source says. “Everything is find between them, as far as I know.”

Hilaria Thomas Baldwin is already making plans her for daughter that might not include husband Alec Baldwin. “We’re having a girl and we definitely want her to speak Spanish,” Baldwin Thomas tells Us Weekly. “It’s a little tricky because my husband doesn’t speak Spanish, so that’ll be a little tricky in the house. But maybe we will have our own conversation and he’ll have to learn. We can talk behind his back. I cannot wait.”

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Demi Moore is finally filing divorce papers to end her marriage with Ashton Kutcher, according to Page Six. The news comes 16 months after their initial separation — and three months after Kutcher’s own filing. So what was the hold up? A source claims Moore had been trying to reach a confidential settlement with Kutcher about his income but has given up on the negotiations. “Ashton made a lot of money after marrying Demi — a lot more than she made — but despite him becoming just as famous through her, he believes he doesn’t owe her that much, the source says, adding that Kutcher “has been very difficult during the talks.”

Following her spat with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, Taylor Swift has earned the ire of another famous funny woman. While Chelsea Handler says she’s not taking sides in the feud, she does have some interesting things to say about Swift. “My theory about Taylor Swift is that she’s a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she’s like, ‘I’m not going to do it.’ And they’re like, ‘Oh well, forget it,’” she speculates during a chat on “Watch What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen. “Every guy thinks they’re going to de-virgin-ize her, and they’re not. She’s never going to de-virgin-ized, ever, ever, ever, ever.”

Jake Gyllenhaal has a new lady in his life, and he reportedly met her in a spin class. Gyllenhaal and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Emily DiDonato have been dating “for a month or two,” a source tells Us Weekly. The pair met at New York’s SpinCycle exercise studio, where Gyllenhaal has been know to work out whenever he’s in the city. “He’ll hop on the instructor bike,” the source says. “He loves the attention from the girls.”

Selena Gomez admits that she hasn’t had that active of a love life since her split from Justin Bieber, and apparently she doesn’t get “asked out a lot,” she tells Harper’s Bazaar. “And when I actually look presentable, I’m at an awards show. It’s not like I’ve wanted to go out and look for someone. I’m not really good at that.” Gomez admits that life with Bieber was made more stressful because of all the paparazzi attention. “But that’s not a factor for me because unfortunately you can’t control that,” she says.

Pete Townsend is looking to make amends after apparently swearing at a 7-year-old girl and her parents during a recent concert in Ontario, Canada. Townsend became annoyed after spotting a sign that read, “Smash your guitar, Pete!” being held up by the girl. “Go away with that sign, please. Just go away with it,” he scolded her parents. “Don’t bring you children [and] use them. I want to tell you two words, but I can’t because you’ve got a child here.” He then mouthed the words “f— off” at them. Townsend feels differently now, according to the Toronto Sun. “Apologies and condolences from my side, and very best wishes to you and your family,” Townsend writes in a letter to the father and daughter. “I am most certainly not angry. I was not angry on stage either. I was in rock star mode, the big mouth.”

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Did Kate Middleton accidentally let the cat out of the bag when it comes to whether she and Prince William are having a boy or a girl? During a public appearance this week, Middleton was given a teddy bear as a gift and said, “Thank you, I’ll take that for my d…” before cutting herself off, according to the Telegraph. Attendee Sandra Cook, who was standing beside Middleton, asked her, “You were going to say daughter, weren’t you?” to which Middleton reportedly replied, “No, I don’t know.” Cook says that when she pressed the Duchess of Cambridge further, she received a firm “We’re not telling” in response.

Taylor Swift is making some powerful enemies. In response to Amy Poehler and Tina Fey‘s joke at Swift’s expense at January’s Golden Globes ceremony. “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people,” Swift tells Vanity Fair. “She said to me she had heard a quote that she loved that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’” While Fey expressed surprise at Swift’s annoyance, Poehler has a response of her own: “Aw, I feel bad if she was upset,” Poehler tells the Hollywood Reporter. “I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.”

Lady Gaga‘s fans are continuing the singer’s feud with Madonna whether she wants them to or not, this time even accusing the “Material Girl” singer of helping the spread of AIDS. In a post on the Gaga fan blog Little Monster Artpop, a Gaga fan criticizes the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) for picking Madonna to present an award to Anderson Cooper at their awards ceremony next week. “Back in the 1980s, she encouraged gay men to have unprotected sex,” read the post, which was removed shortly after garnering media attention. “While she certainly didn’t start the disease, she and her lack of morals helped it spread. The post’s author vowed to “strike back” in an unspecified manner if GLAAD did not choose another presenter.

James Franco is willing to admit he’s at least partially responsible for any speculation about whether he’s gay or straight. “One of the things that’s very much part of my public image is the question of my sexuality,” he tells Attitude magazine. “It’s not something that bothers me in the slightest. It hasn’t gone away, and I get asked about it from all sides. It’s partly my doing and partly not my doing.” From the roles he chooses to his directing efforts, homosexuality has been a popular topic for Franco. But what he’s really interested in is a high-profile actor coming out of the closet. “I think that the people I have known who are performers who haven’t publicly come out didn’t because they’re afraid it’ll hurt their careers,” he says. “And they’re afraid they won’t be able to play straight roles anymore. If there’s somebody that was well-respected and very secure with their career, I could see it happening in a very positive way.”

MTV has released its extensive “Hottest MCs” list, and Kanye West is not pleased to find himself sitting at the No. 7 spot. “I feel like for them to put me at No. 7, they had to bring up things they didn’t like,” he says during a call into New York’s Hot 97 radio station. “What happens with these type of things and the people that review it, when I come in and I have the pink polo and the backpack, I’m checking all the boxes of that a Tribe Called Quest era and all that, so they want to champion it. They don’t like Givenchy Kanye. They don’t like Kanye in a kilt, they don’t like Kanye in a relationship.”

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Despite being booed, Justin Bieber went on with the show at the O2 In London on Monday. [Credit: Getty Images]

Taylor Swift has some news for everyone keeping track of her love life. “If you want some big revelation, since 2010 I have dated exactly two people,” she tells Vanity Fair, referring to high schooler Conor Kennedy and One Direction member Harry Styles. “The fact that there are slide shows of a dozen guys that I either hugged on a red carpet or met for lunch or wrote a song with, it’s just kind of ridiculous.” But she doesn’t let all the talk get to her. “One of these things I say to myself to calm myself down when I feel like it’s all too much … if there’s a pregnancy rumor rumor, people will find out it’s not true when you wind up not pregnant,” she says. “And if there’s a house rumor, they’ll find out it’s not true when you are actively not ever spotted at that house.”

Kate Winslet says the period between her marriage to Sam Mendes — which ended in 2010 — and her December wedding with Ned Rocknroll has been a great period of self-discovery. “I’ve really learned a great deal about myself, in the last four years in particular,” she tells Harper’s Bazaar UK. “I think I can see more clearly now — about how the pattern of past experiences has shaped who I am, and the character I have played — and I’m grateful for that. I gave so much more material to draw on for work — rubble, bricks — and I know I can carry it now.”

Alec Baldwin‘s new wife, Hilaria Baldwin, is over the moon about being pregnant with the couple’s first child, but she’s learning already that there are some areas where she and her famous husband don’t see eye to eye — like when it comes to potential baby names. “[Alec] had the idea for Massimo the other day,” Hilaria tells Rachael Ray during a visit to her television show. “It’s a lovely name, I just don’t know. That’s a very big name for a little baby.” She’d rather wait until the tyke arrives before settling on something. “I think you actually have to look at it once it pops out and say, ‘Who are you? What is your name?’” she says.

Ten years after their films’ releases, Andy and Lana Wachowski are facing a lawsuit claiming the plots for the “Matrix” sequels, “The Matrix Reloaded” and “The Matrix Revolutions,” were stolen, according to E! News. Hawaii-based writer Thomas Althouse is suing the Wachowskis along with producer Joel Silver and Warner Bros. for copyright infringement in federal court claiming, claiming the two films were “based and formulated in substantial part” upon his 1993 screenplay, “The Immortals,” which he claims was submitted through his attorney to the Hollywood studio at the time. Althouse says the delay in filing suit is because he did not actually see the sequels until 2010. Warner Bros. hasn’t responded to requests for comment.

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Madonna‘s foray into photo-sharing may be short-lived if she doesn’t clean up her act. The singer recently joined Instagram, collecting more than 150,000 followers while posting provocative photos of herself as well as images of flowers, horses and artist Frida Kahlo. But she’s also posted a warning she apparently received from the folks at Instagram about reviewing the site’s community guidelines. “We value these guidelines and believe that they will help keep Instagram a safe and fun place for everyone,” the message reads. “It is important to not that continuing to violate them may result in a disabled account or discontinued access to Instagram without warning.”

Taylor Swift doesn’t want to be a hypocrite, so she’s fine with any of her more musically inclined ex-boyfriends penning tunes about their relationship with the pop-country crooner. “If I’m going to write songs about my exes, they can write songs about me,” she tells InStyle UK. “That’s how it works. I’m not going to complain about it. I’m not going to sit there and say, ‘I”m the only one who can write songs about this relationship.’ It’s fair game.”

More potential bad news for Lindsay Lohan in her ongoing battle with the Los Angeles legal system: The troubled actress’ former assistant, Gavin Doyle, has been subpoenaed by the L.A. Attorney’s Office to testify in connection with Lohan’s probation violation trial, according to E! News. Lohan had told police that Doyle was behind the wheel when her Porsche collided with a truck last year, but Doyle has reportedly since revealed that Lohan herself was driving. Her next hearing is set for March 1.

Don’t expect too many fireworks in the split between Diane Lane and Josh Brolin. While the couple is divorcing after nine years of marriage, sources says that it’s “amicable” and “a mutual decision,” according to TMZ. “It’s not ugly, it’s just over.” In the divorce filing filed Feb. 15 in Los Angeles, Lane reportedly cites irreconcilable differences for the breakdown of their marriage and is looking to restore her name. While she continued to work under the screen name Diane Lane, she apparently legally changed her name to Diane Lane Brolin during their marriage.

Steven Tyler estimates that he has probably snorted $5 million or $6 million worth of cocaine during his drug-abusing days, which is a far cry from his estimate of $20 million in his 2011 memoir. “But it doesn’t matter,” he tells Australia’s “60 Minutes” during an interview. “You also could say I snorted half of Peru, but it doesn’t matter. You know, it’s what we did.”

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It’s Valentine’s Day, a day created by Hallmark to make couples spend loads and loads of money on candy, flowers and gourmet dinners. Or the day when singles and cheaters clean up on the internet and in the bars.

Whatever side of the romantic fence you’re standing behind this year, one thing is certain: the made-up holiday is on everybody’s mind. Radio stations are cranking out all the classic love songs, while kids and grown-ups alike are handing out cards to classmates and co-workers. On Thursday, ESPN did a ridiculously stupid sketch where Damien Woody, starring as the Love Doctor, gave NFL fans advice on their favorite teams and players.

Point is, it’s infectious and we here at PFT aren’t above any of it. So away we go as we name the athletes and celebrities we would like to see hook up.

» Dwight Howard and Taylor Swift: We don’t get the whole fascination with Swift — a nice-looking girl with a decent voice — and her whiny, boyfriend-dissing ballads (not to mention her penchant for firing lovers … but she sure sounds like she would be perfect arm candy for Howard, who has made a living off whining, dissing teammates and getting coaches fired. Plus, Swift (5-foot-11) is one of the few girls that might not look completely ridiculous standing next to Howard (6-foot-11).

» Chad Johnson and Rihanna: The receiver formerly known as Ocho Cinco has been bored out of his mind since beating his wife and being kicked out of Dolphins camp. He is constantly on Twitter posting pictures (in Spain, at NBA games, at a Marilyn Manson concert), but Chad is usually alone — and he is dying for attention. Enter Rihanna, a longtime favorite in this space who needs to ditch Chris Brown. Rihanna, like Chad, is addicted to Twitter — and she likes to get wild and crazy, and doesn’t mind being put in her place every once in while.

» Andrew Luck and Jennifer Lawrence: Wow, what a pairing this would be, right? Luck is arguably the best young quarterback in football and Lawrence is the best young actress in Hollywood. Luck’s Colts have 40-1 odds to win the Super Bowl, while Lawrence is one of the front-runners to win the Oscar for Best Actress. Not to mention, they are both extremely young and attractive — with the possibility of spawning a long line of rifle-armed, post-apocalyptic killing machines.

» Jim Boeheim and Andy Katz: Because being an idiot and a disloyal person is no way to go through life. We need to get these two crazy kids back together immediately. College basketball needs them, just like Arm needs Hammer … like Oscar Pistorius needs legs a good attorney. What? Too soon?

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Bruce Willis admits he used to have a drinking problem, leading to a brief foray into complete sobriety, but he’s past all that now. “I had been sober [for a while],” he tells GQ magazine, explaining that he eased off his personal prohibition “once I realized that I wasn’t going to run myself off the pier of life with alcohol, drinking vodka out of the bottle every day.” As for his current drinking habits? “I have wine now, mostly when I eat,” he says. Of course, Willis is still facing the unstoppable march of time. “Nobody want to hear this bad news, but we’re all dying on some level,” he says. “I’m going to try to keep this machine moving forward as much as possible and not have to think about the eventuality of becoming more frail and less able to do the work. I know that I’m not going into politics. That’s not an option.”

Taylor Swift had more exes on her mind at the Grammys than just Harry Styles, whom she mocked during her performance of “We are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” The lovelorn singer also made a point of avoiding ex-boyfriend John Mayer and his current squeeze, Katy Perry, despite being seated near each other, according to Us Weekly. And as for reports that Grammys organizers were ordered to keep Swift away from rival Carrie Underwood? “Taylor feels Carrie is always rude to her, so she steers clear of her,” a source tells the magazine, pointing out that “after Carrie performed, Taylor didn’t stand. Everyone else did.”

Lady Gaga has postponed her next four concerts because a joint inflammation condition called synovitis has left her unable to walk, she revealed on Twitter. “I’ve been hiding a show injury and chronic pain for sometime now. Over the past month it has worsened,” the singer tweeted. “I’ve been praying it would heal. I hid it from my staff, I didn’t want to disappoint my amazing fans. However, after last night’s performance I could not walk and still can’t.” Makeup dates for the canceled shows — in Chicago, Detroit and Hamilton, Ontario — have yet to be announced.

Steve Martin reportedly became a dad for the first time when his 41-year-old wife, Anne Stringfield, “had a baby” in December, according to the New York Post, but the real story is that the 67-year-old comedian has managed to keep the story under wraps. “How they kept it a secret nobody knows,” a source says. “Steve’s very private. They are thrilled. They worked hard to have the baby.” The pair was recently spotted with a baby in Los Angeles.

When reports went out late last month that Alec Baldwin‘s wife, Hilaria Thomas, is pregnant, his reps shot them down, saying, “When and if they have news they want to share, they will share it.” Well, now they have news they want to share. “My wife is pregnant,” the “30 Rock” star posted to Twitter this week. “To celebrate the announcement, she is teaching yoga.”

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The Grammys are not always easy to predict. Sometimes the National Academy of Recording Arts and Science gets it right, like with Adele sweeping all six categories she was nominated in last year, including the “Big Three” (Record of the Year, Song of the Year and Album of the Year). But sometimes the Academy gets it horribly wrong. We still can’t figure out how Herbie Hancock won Album of the Year in 2008. There is one opportunity for a “Big Three” sweep with fun. being nominated in the major categories, as well as Best New Artist, but we just don’t see them joining the ranks of Adele, Dixie Chicks (2007), Norah Jones (2003) and only a half-dozen others. Here’s why.

RECORD OF THE YEAR

This is really the biggest Grammy, and people sometimes get confused because of those 12-inch vinyl things that are also called records. This award honors the actual
performance, the studio production and that certain X-factor that makes a song a defining snippet of sound for that year, or you know, a record.

THE NOMINEES: 

The Black Keys “Lonely Boy”
Kelly Clarkson “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)”
fun. featuring Janelle Monae “We Are Young”
Gotye featuring Kimbra “Somebody That I Used To Know”
Frank Ocean “Thinkin Bout You”
Taylor Swift “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

WHO WILL WIN:

This was a big year for the Black Keys, and the Academy has been kind to the Ohio duo before, but more for categories like Best Alternative Music Album or Best Rock Performance. Does “Lonely Boy” say 2012 the way that “Beat It” said 1984? Not quite. Our money is on Gotye, though “Somebody That I Used To Know” says 1985 more than 2012. But this is the Academy we’re dealing with.

WHO SHOULD WIN:

We’re going with the fun. song here. While the intro is a little too Broadway for our liking, that chorus really is a perfect audio snapshot of 2012, isn’t it?

WHO WAS JUST A TOKEN NOMINATION:

After Taylor Swift got “Kanyed” at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, she received a secret lifetime guarantee of being nominated for something at every awards show every year she releases new music. This is speculation, but “We Are Never Getting Back Together” is too light to win an award in a category where past winners include “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “I Will Always Love You.”

SONG OF THE YEAR

This award is for the songwriter, so if Kelly Clarkson’s tune wins, she doesn’t actually win, because she didn’t have a hand in composing “Stronger.” All other artists in this category wrote their respective songs.

THE NOMINEES:

Ed Sheeran “The A Team”
Miguel “Adorn”
Carly Rae Jepsen “Call Me Maybe”
Kelly Clarkson “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)”
Fun. featuring Janelle Monae “We Are Young

WHO WILL WIN:

This is the one that fun. actually will win, and when they skip up to the podium to collect their award, that chorus will sound great blasting over the speakers, won’t it?

WHO SHOULD WIN:

You read the nominees, and “Call Me Maybe,” is totally in your head! Not bad, right? Think about how long it took you to get sick of it. Not until at least the ninth B-grade YouTube parody. That is quality songwriting: catchy without pissing you off!  Go Carly Rae!

WHO WAS JUST A TOKEN NOMINATION:

Ed Sheeran? What billionaire decided this acoustic kid is important all of a sudden? And how much did said billionaire have to shell out to allow the Olympics to have him front Pink Floyd for “Wish You Were Here”?

ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

Ah, the album, that rare perfect collection of songs. It’s only getting closer to extinction as we get further away from the analog age.

THE NOMINEES:

The Black Keys “El Camino”
Fun. “Some Nights”
Mumford & Sons “Babel”
Frank Ocean “channel ORANGE”
Jack White “Blunderbuss”

WHO WILL WIN:

Like we’ve already established, the Academy has a soft spot for the Black Keys. This is their big one this year.

WHO SHOULD WIN:

Frank Ocean topped every critical best-of list this year and the guy is almost single-handedly pushing R&B into the future. And “channel ORANGE” is a great listen from start to finish.

WHO WAS JUST A TOKEN NOMINATION:

The nominees in this category are hard to argue with, but what’s easy to argue with is that the ladies were snubbed! Where’s Taylor Swift’s “Red”? While the Grammys are not a popularity contest, “Red” was the second biggest-selling album of 2012, behind only another lady, Adele, who happened to do pretty well for herself at the Grammys last year.

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