Swallow the Bile: Root for Miami

Fervently rooting against the “three-superstar” Miami Heat is like hoping for James Cameron’s latest blockbuster to fail.

Sure, the thought of seeing the arrogant egomaniac fall on his face sounds thrilling at first. But would you rather watch “Avatar” or another cookie-cutter studio sequel in the end? Same logic applies to the NBA team that everyone loves to hate.

It seems great that the Heat are 9-8, looking as beat up as Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan. It might tickle you that this team of overhyped megastars (can we at least be honest and admit Chris Bosh was never that dominant?) sits on the same level as the Knicks.

It is funny that Tracy McGrady of all people is gleefully calling Pat Riley’s Dream Team “terrible.” The political equivalent would be Tom DeLay ripping into The Situation for being a poor “Dancing with the Stars” contestant and a bad American.

But when you get past this temporary humor what are you left with? Just another mediocre, uncompelling NBA team? Sorry, but that’s the last thing the sports landscape needs.

Who cares what’s fair to Erik Spoelstra? Riley needs to eject his latest chair warmer as fast as he can drag his Gordon-Gekko, Wall-Street-original-era self back to the bench.

Sports needs an interesting Heat team, especially when king football leaves the stage.

There is still no one outside shouting distance of the Alamo who cares about a 14-2 Spurs team. San Antonio could have gotten off to a 25-0 start and still produced yawns.

Boston’s act is played out, even Kevin Garnett’s “cancer patient” comments come across more tired than offensive. Steve Nash no longer has a worthy finisher to catch his bounce passes on the run. And the Lakers might roll to another title no matter what, but there needs to at least be the illusion of an interesting foil.

The Heat need to be relevant as an on-court show by the time Rex Ryan is done poking the Patriots for the winter and Derek Jeter has let out his last championship whine.

Sorry but mid-game shoulder bumps between Spoelstra and LeBron James just don’t cut it for entertainment. WikiLeaks it’s not, no matter how breathlessly ESPN reports on it.

The idea that LeBron and Dwyane Wade suddenly can’t play together should be laughable to anyone who watched the Olympics. It will not be all that long before LeBron’s funny misery turns into real horror for NBA fans.

This has to be stopped before the Heat slide into a version of the Mets. The Heat can flame out all they want — as long as it’s deep into the playoffs.

With Tiger Woods moving on to fibbing about who cooks the mac ‘n’ cheese in his manse, continuing to assume that the rest of America is as dumb as the people he pays to advise him, the dominant figures in sports are in short supply.

The Heat cannot be ordinary. Ordinary stops being fun fast.

–Chris Baldwin covers the sports media for Metro.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Send submissions to letters@metro.us.


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