Setting your kids straight sometimes isn’t so easy
I saw a blog about how parents could tell that their son was gay by looking at a snapshot of them: how they stood, hands on hips, hand gestures etc. My 6-year-old son poses girly, like his sisters, in pictures. Should I suspect something? Signed, Worried Dad
Jacqueline says: I wouldn’t jump to conclusions as children many times copy their older siblings. Understand, however that you will have to allow your child to be who he is.
Kerry says: There’s no point in getting yourself all riled up about it since there’s nothing you can do. Instead prepare yourself to embrace the fact that, if he is gay, you’ll accept and love him no matter what.
I have a niece that is very “mature” looking. She is beautiful. She lives only a few floors above me. She is 12. And I have dirty thoughts about her. I want her bad and I’m afraid one day I will act on it. How do I stop thinking about her? Signed Pervert
Jacqueline says: If you are afraid you will act on it then you need psychological help. Stay away from her. Move. Do what you got to, to stay away. Because if you act on it, you will not only ruin an innocent little girl’s life, you will spend many years in the slammer.
Kerry says: Not only is she underage but it’s incestual. I urge you to see a therapist immediately and express your exact sentiments. Then do as Jacqueline says, and remove yourself out of your niece’s presence for a very, very long time. Getting help is imminent.
My daughter is 7. She is a great kid except sometimes she throws these incredible temper tantrums. They embarrass me because people always stare at me no matter how I handle it, which is me yelling at her and her getting more upset and me eventually giving in. Please help! Signed, Exhausted Mom
Jacqueline says: You’re killing me. There is no negotiating with a 7-year-old. You are the boss. You needn’t say a word. Walk away. Don’t indulge in her nonsense. Show her that you could care less. She will exhaust in 5 minutes and she will eventually realize that temper tantrums don’t work.
Kerry says: I’m not sure I agree with Jackie. I think kids need “time out” when they act up. I would deal with her in terms of punishments and rewards. Thus, if she misbehaves she should be punished. Conversely, if she is good she should be rewarded. The idea is to associate bad behavior with punishment and good behavior with rewards. Don’t renege on your punishments. The key here is consistency.
My friend and I each have a child about the same age. “Mary’s” son is a spoiled brat and I would love to give him a good whack. I love the idea of us all doing things together (as we are both single) but her son is really getting on my nerves. How should I handle this? Signed, Had It
Jacqueline says: His mother is the one who should address his behavior but you do not have to put up with other children’s bratty behavior if it is geared at you. If he says something to you that offends you, then correct him. His mother should get the hint.
Kerry says: There’s only so much you can do so I agree with Jackie; if he does something that’s directly offensive or annoying to you then correct him. Otherwise, it’s not your place to discipline him.
I’m a dad with my partner (who is also a male). My son, who we love dearly, is about to enter the fifth grade and I’m terrified he is going to be ridiculed because he has “two daddys.” He is so sweet, I doubt he would tell us and hurt our feelings. What can I do to prevent this?
Jacqueline says: Good communication with your son is key. The tremendous love for your son will give him strength so give him the benefit of the doubt that he can handle himself.
Kerry says: Explain to your son that he might face some ridicule but to learn to shrug it off and not let it bother him. The best thing you can do in the meantime is to help build his confidence and self-esteem by teaching him self-love; it is how he carries himself that will mostly dictate how the other children will respond to him. Eventually the kids will accept him for who he is and will be over the fact that he has two fathers.
– Kerry and Jacqueline Donelli are twin sisters and the filmmakers of the comedy, “Titillating Steven.” They are pursuing a master’s degree and then a doctorate in mental health counseling in NYC.
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