Early humans had sex with literally everything (UPDATED)

Awww yeah. Just like that, Neanderthal. Just...like...that.

We already knew early human beings were horny opportunists who wouldn’t let a little facial hair keep them from a little inter-species Neanderthal lovin’. Now, however, scientists are beginning to speculate that our ancestors’ standards were even lower than previously assumed.

According to new research from the University of Alabama, early humans in Africa may have also mated with primitive relatives Homo erectus and Homo habilis, and not just because they were drunk. From the Atlantic Wire:

“We think there were probably thousands of interbreeding events,” said [lead researcher Michael] Hammer. “It happened relatively extensively and regularly.”

In case you were wondering, Homo habilis looked like this:

Oof.

The scientists reportedly discovered our ancestor’s kinky sexual habits through a computer simulation that virtually “unwound” the process at arriving of modern human DNA; inside the timeline they found not only more evidence that early sapiens had an affinity for the brooding bad-boy Neanderthals next door, but also proof that they were sweet on the simple, yet kind, hominids that were always kind of just hanging around.

Why? No one knows exactly, but perhaps Homo erectus deserved his name after all?

UPDATE: And in more early human news, scientists today are reporting that they may have found “the missing link” between ape and early man, and its name is Australopithecus sediba. Researchers think A. sediba could do smile and make tools like humans could, which is cool, but not cool enough to have sex with.

(Habilis photo via Wikipedia.)



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Brooklyn man charged in roommate's stabbing death

A Brooklyn man accused of violently stabbing his roommate to death on Monday is in police custody and faces murder charges.

International

Dinosaurs could have survived asteroid strike

It turns out there is a good and a bad time for the planet to be hit by a meteor, and dinosaurs were just unlucky.…

National

OkCupid admits to Facebook-style experimenting on customers

By Sarah McBrideSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - OkCupid, a top U.S. matchmaking website, intentionally mismatched users to test its technology, the IAC/InterActive Corp service said on…

Local

MTA fares still increasing 4 percent in newly…

The agency said the 4 percent increases, previously announced in December, will remain steady even as the MTA deals with increasing labor costs.

Movies

Interview: Brendan Gleeson on the way 'Calvary' depicts…

Brendan Gleeson talks about how his new film "Calvary" began over drinks and how his character here is the opposite of the lead in "The Guard."

Movies

'Get on Up' producer Mick Jagger on the…

Mick Jagger, a producer on the James Brown biopic "Get on Up," talks about the time had to tell the singer some bad news and his favorite JB record.

Television

'Glee' star Lea Michele to appear on 'Sons…

"Glee" star Lea Michele has been confirmed as a guest star in the final season of "Sons of Anarchy."

Television

TV watch list, Monday, July 28: 'The Bachelorette'…

See Andi Dorfman make her big choice on tonight's 'Bachelorette' finale.

MLB

Angelo Cataldi: Ryan Howard deserves better from Phillies

Just last week, Ryan Howard endured the embarrassment of a benching that was inevitable, and yet still shocking.

NFL

Larry Donnell has inside track in Giants tight…

Little-known Larry Donnell of Grambling State currently has the inside track, as the second-year player has received the bulk of the first-team reps.

NFL

Computer to Jets: Start Michael Vick over Geno…

Jets general manager John Idzik says the choice of who starts between second-year quarterback Geno Smith and veteran Michael Vick will be a “Jets decision.”

MLB

Yankees looking to trade for Josh Willingham: Report

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman reported Sunday the Yankees are interested in Twins outfielder Josh Willingham.

Travel

Glasgow: Hey, hey, the gangs aren't here

This European city has done a good job getting rid of its more violent residents and revitalizing with artists.

Education

Babson College tops list of best colleges for…

Money magazine has just released its inaugural list of "The Best Colleges for Your Money" -- and the answers have surprised many. Babson College, which…

Education

NYC teens learn how to develop apps during…

Through a program sponsored by CampInteractive, the high schoolers designed their own community-focused apps.

Tech

The Ministry of Silly Walks app is both…

Monty Python have dug into their back catalogue for cash-ins once more, but with the Ministry of Silly Walks app, they've made something that's fun too.