Early humans had sex with literally everything (UPDATED)

Awww yeah. Just like that, Neanderthal. Just...like...that.

We already knew early human beings were horny opportunists who wouldn’t let a little facial hair keep them from a little inter-species Neanderthal lovin’. Now, however, scientists are beginning to speculate that our ancestors’ standards were even lower than previously assumed.

According to new research from the University of Alabama, early humans in Africa may have also mated with primitive relatives Homo erectus and Homo habilis, and not just because they were drunk. From the Atlantic Wire:

“We think there were probably thousands of interbreeding events,” said [lead researcher Michael] Hammer. “It happened relatively extensively and regularly.”

In case you were wondering, Homo habilis looked like this:

Oof.

The scientists reportedly discovered our ancestor’s kinky sexual habits through a computer simulation that virtually “unwound” the process at arriving of modern human DNA; inside the timeline they found not only more evidence that early sapiens had an affinity for the brooding bad-boy Neanderthals next door, but also proof that they were sweet on the simple, yet kind, hominids that were always kind of just hanging around.

Why? No one knows exactly, but perhaps Homo erectus deserved his name after all?

UPDATE: And in more early human news, scientists today are reporting that they may have found “the missing link” between ape and early man, and its name is Australopithecus sediba. Researchers think A. sediba could do smile and make tools like humans could, which is cool, but not cool enough to have sex with.

(Habilis photo via Wikipedia.)


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