Let’s spice up conference realignment

Mila Kunis

Bored yet with realignment in college athletics? It was palatable a bit in  August when nothing was happening in the sports world. But now, with faux news developing seemingly every day, it has gotten incredibly tiresome.

Oklahoma wants out of the crumbling Big 12, but it has demands. Texas is flirting with the ACC, but the Big Ten really wants the Longhorns, and yes, the Pac-12 probably makes the most sense.

That is, unless Texas goes independent, like Notre Dame, which is also supposedly playing footsie with the Big Ten (again) and the ACC. Texas A&M left for the SEC, and now Missouri might go.
The key to it all? Football and money. Nothing else matters.

If you wish you had a handy guide to the madness, look no further. We present to you a celebrity version of college football realignment:

West Virginia (Cameron Diaz): The Mountaineers are a party school best known for burning couches in public. Desperate to leave the sinking ship that is the Big East, WVU reportedly applied for membership to the ACC and SEC. And was denied.

Texas (Mila Kunis): It has a rich football history, but the school has significantly blown up in recent years thanks to Colt McCoy guiding the Texas to the title game and the creation of the Longhorn Network. Everyone wants Texas. The Big Ten, the ACC and the Pac 12 are all in play, but a move would mean it’d have to give up the lucrative Longhorn Network. So does Texas try to keep the crumbling Big 12 together, or go independent?

Missouri (Kendra Wilkinson): There’s not much to love about Missouri football, but it has two things going for it: the Kansas City and St. Louis TV markets. That’s the only reason the SEC is interested in Missouri.

Rutgers (Anna Kournikova): Another school trying to leave the Big East. Rutgers — which has an inflated sense of self worth; no surprise; they are located in New Jersey — would be attractive if anyone in New York (No. 1 TV market) cared about the Scarlet Knights, but that’s not the case.

Oklahoma (Megan Fox): The Sooners, with their rich football history, are coveted by the Pac-12. The Sooners are title contenders almost every year, but Oklahoma is not without flaws — it must bring along little brother Oklahoma State.

– Jason Raj McIntyre covers athletes off the field and runs the popular blog, The Big Lead.
Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Send submissions to letters@metro.us.


Mayor pledges lower greenhouse gas emissions from New…

Just hours before the start of the People’s Climate March on Sunday, and two days ahead of the United Nations Climate Summit, Mayor Bill de…


The best places to see the Northern Lights…

A large solar storm hit the Earth's atmosphere and will tonight illuminate the skies with aurora borealis -- also known as the Northern Lights.


Police officer killed Sunday morning Bronx crash, 8…

One NYPD police officer was killed and eight other officers were injured early Sunday morning when the van they were traveling in crashed  in the…


Pennsylvania police shooter manhunt near home of suspect's…

A police manhunt intensified on Friday for the gunman who killed an officer and wounded another in an ambush at a Pennsylvania police barracks a week ago.


'How to Get Away with' mischaracterizing Shondra Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes read Alessandra Stanley's New York Times piece about her being "an angry black woman" and "a romance writer" and it did not sit well with her.


New nude celebrity selfies leak … and Clay…

A new batch of nude selfies of Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens, Lake Bell and Avril Lavigne hit the web and Clay Aiken has something to say!


James Spader's route to villainy on "The Blacklist"

In honor of the second season premiere of "The Blacklist" tonight, where James Spader plays good guy/bad guy Raymond “Red” Reddington, it’s a good time to look back at Spader’s…


True Detective


Jay Cutler takes Marc Trestman's coaching to heart

While Jay Cutler turned to an autobiography on the man who would be his head coach, Trestman had personal experience with the player.


Jets vs. Bears: 3 things to watch

Jets fans likely chalked up Monday's matchup with the Bears as a loss when the NFL schedule came out. But given their team's play so…


Rashad Jennings carries Giants in first win this…

Rashad Jennings, who came to New York from Oakland last year, by way of Jacksonville, was highly coveted this offseason by general manager Jerry Reese.


3 things we learned as Giants pick up…

The Giants picked up their first win of the season over the Texans.


Here's how to make the most of visit…

You’re primped, you’re looking polished, you’re prepared with a stack of resumes. Job fair hunters, unite! There are a few things to keep in mind…


Learn how to study effectively and stop cramming…

Picture this: It’s midterm week, and college students everywhere are trying to frantically memorize all of the math formulas, political theories and historical facts that…


How motherhood inspired Bethenny Frankel's new book

Bethenny Frankel's new children's book is about how her daughter and dog didn't always get alone.


A sneaky way to serve kids fruits and…

"My First Juices and Smoothies" gives smoothie recipes for kids.