New York

10 ways to act like an adult with the office photocopier

Going “Office Space” on the copier, although therapeutic, clearly violates rule No. 5.

In her new book, “How to Behave,” Caroline Tiger spells out the appropriate way to handle a wide range of everyday scenarios, from carrying an umbrella in the city to saying “I love you.” While her playfully proper tone certainly contributes to the book’s subtle humor, part of the fun is realizing just how ill-equipped we humans are at navigating the most mundane of tasks with the slightest bit of poise and class. Case in point: her photocopier etiquette rules, which we’re excerpting here — and violate almost hourly.

Tiger’s rules:

1. Never leave the copier without first attending to a flashing icon, which usually indicates a paper jam or misfeed or the need for a new toner cartridge.

2. If you cannot resolve the copier’s distress signal by yourself, notify your office manager or machine serviceperson immediately.

3. Never leave the copy machine empty of paper.

4. If you used color paper or letterhead or any type of paper besides white, remove it before leaving the machine so that others don’t use it by mistake.

5. If you become frustrated with the copy machine, do not kick it, punch it or become violent toward it in any way.

6. Do not eat or drink around the photocopier.

7. Do not smudge the platen glass with your oily fingertips.

8. No matter how funny it looked in the movie, do not attempt to photocopy your own or another’s body parts.

9. Remove staples, sticky notes and paper clips from whatever you’re going to copy.

10. Little jobs trump big jobs. If you’re making five copies of a 250-page report, you should
interrupt the job to let in the person who needs to make a one-page copy.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

(Updated) John Martorano: Whitey Bulger convinced me to…

John Martorano said he committed his last murder in 1982 when he killed his friend as the urging of alleged mob boss James "Whitey" Bulger.

National

Boy in wheelchair left to the side in…

A second grader with spinal muscular atrophy was forced to sit off to the size during his class photo.

Career

Unpaid internships threatened by federal law

For many companies summer has been indicative of two things: a reminder of the office dress code and bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, unpaid interns looking to advance…

Local

Legal groups to sue city, NYPD over Muslim…

The NYCLU and ACLU are suing Mayor Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly, alleging that the NYPD's Muslim surveillance program is unconstitutional.

Movies

James Franco wants you to fund his next…

If you ask, they will fund it. On the heels of the successful Kickstarter campaigns for a Veronica Mars movie and Zach Braff’s follow up…

Arts

[VIDEO] Moby invites indie and student filmmakers to…

Heads up to penniless and student (and both) filmmakers out there: It's good to known that not all rich and famous people are using the Internet to beg funds off…

Books

Lauren Weisberger on bringing back ‘Prada’ and whether…

The author talks about "Revenge Wears Prada" 10 years after "Devil Wears Prada."

The Word

The Word: Amy Adams slams Hollywood's diet obsession

"Man of Steel" star Amy Adams may be under pressure to conform to Hollywood's stick-thin ideal for women, but she does her best not to succumb.

MLB

Yankees Notebook: Youkilis to undergo back surgery, Teixeira…

General manager Brian Cashman said Tuesday Youkilis has a herniated disk in his back discovered after an MRI.

MLB

Yankees welcome Don Mattingly back to the Stadium…

Many Yankee fans in their 30s probably had the famous Don Mattingly “Hit Man” posters on their walls in tribute to the former Yankee first baseman.

MLB

Harvey, Mets eek out victory in opening game…

Matt Harvey carried a no-hitter into the seventh inning, and the Mets’ bullpen just managed to hang on for a 4-3 win.

NHL

Report: Alain Vigneault agrees to be next Rangers…

Multiple sources are reporting former Vancouver head coach Alain Vigneault will take the same position with the Rangers.

Home

Home: Barb Blair helps with a DIY furniture…

Before you toss that hand-me-down dresser, Barb Blair suggests you try giving it a paint job.

Lifestyle

A learning adventure at the touch of an…

This app might help keep kids thinking this summer.

Career

The Broad Experience: Asking for help at the…

Women should not shy away from asking for advice or assistance.

Lifestyle

Pollution linked to autism in children: Study

Pregnant women who are exposed to high levels of pollution have a greater chance of giving birth to children on the autism spectrum, a new…