Is flirting outside your relationship ever OK?

Krasinski’s only got eyes for his wife ... and Conan ... and maybe you.

Conan O’Brien recently offered a solution for the lonely-hearted: Watch his video of celebrities flirting directly with viewers. From John Krasinski to Emmy Rossum to Fred Armisen, the stars looked at the camera and acted like they were meeting you in a bar and hoped to hook up. Some of those flirters might be looking for love, but what about John Krasinski, who is married? Do you think his wife minded? In this case, he may have just been playing a role, but people in relationships deal with this question all the time: Is flirting good or bad?

The answer is that it depends. For everyone, putting yourself out there with other people of the opposite sex and making smart conversation helps you feel desirable and confident. If, however, you are already in a relationship, then you want to make sure all that heightened sexual energy is stored up for your partner, who you will share it with later. If your relationship is solid and you feel you are being given enough one-on-one time, then a little flirting is OK. Sometimes watching your partner flirt can even give you a sense of pride.

But if it makes you feel threatened, then it might not be such a good thing. If the foundation of a relationship isn’t strong, it can increase your feelings of doubt and mistrust. The person doing the flirting might feel good, but it might make the other partner feel insecure.

If that’s the case, it’s a good time to take stock and realize that rather than looking outward, you should focus your energy inward to work on strengthening your trust. You can do this by being affectionate, complimentary and expressing your love. If you still feel uncomfortable when your partner flirts with others, it can also help to set ground rules. For example, a little conversation might be OK — but if it goes beyond that and someone offers or asks for a phone number, the answer is no.
The goal is to make flirting work as a positive rather than a negative for your relationship.

— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is the creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
News

NY judge throws out lawsuit by Empire State…

A New York state judge has thrown out a lawsuit in which longtime investors in the Empire State Building claimed they were shortchanged out of hundreds of millions of dollars…

Local

Mysterious white flags appear over Brooklyn Bridge

Two white flags mysteriously appeared over the towers of the Brooklyn Bridge yesterday in place of the American flags that are a traditional fixture.

National

Judge sets January start for murder trial of…

By Elizabeth BarberBOSTON (Reuters) - Former New England Patriots player Aaron Hernandez will be tried in January for the murder of semi-professional football player Odin…

National

Donut capers stymie police in Oregon

For more than a month, mysterious vandals have been smearing pastries on cars, depositing donuts in lawns and leaving cakes strewn about the streets.

Arts

Don't miss 'Charles James: Beyond Fashion' at the…

Have you been meaning to see "Charles James: Beyond Fashion"? There are only two weeks left to get to the Met and catch this amazing American fashion designer's collection.

Television

Zac Posen talks 'Project Runway' and what it…

We talked to Zac Posen, judge and designer extraordinaire, about the new season of "Project Runway" and what keeps him coming back after three seasons.

Television

'Face Off' contestant David 'DOC' O'Connell sounds off…

David "DOC" O'Connell tells us about getting cast on Season 7 of Syfy's "Face Off," premiering tonight at 9.

Arts

PHOTO: Wildlife photographer Marc Mol captures amazing aerial…

This aerial image was taken by photographer Marc Mol who spotted the animals during an air safari in Zambia.

NFL

David Tyree hiring has gay rights advocates angry

Former Giants Super Bowl hero David Tyree will re-join the franchise as its new director of player development.

NFL

Ben McAdoo's new offense has Giants excited to…

Even Tom Coughlin feels he has a lot to learn about offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo’s new offense, which makes the veteran coach very excited.

MLB

MLB Power Rankings: A's, Angels, Dodgers, Brewers lead…

MLB Power Rankings: A's, Angels, Dodgers, Brewers lead pack

NFL

2014 NFL season betting odds: Which team will…

2014 NFL season betting odds: Which team will win Super Bowl?

Tech

Learn Braille with these gloves

U.S. scientists have designed high-tech gloves to help users understand Braille in a matter of minutes.

Home

5 New Ikea products that will change your…

We round-up the latest must-have products.

Food

Recipe: Wolfgang Puck's Buttermilk French Toast

We recently spent some time chatting with restauranteur/celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck at his Wolfgang Puck American Grille in the Borgata in Atlantic City. Puck wanted…

Style

Go retro with your sneakers

The best of wacky new sneakers.