Guy’s guide to the NCAA tournament

The Connecticut Huskies cheerleaders

UConn
Athletics: A-minus. A three-time national champ in hoops. A football program that at least plays Division I football … the Big East is still Division I, right?
Academics: B. Not too smart. Not too dumb. Just right.
Talent: B-minus. There just aren’t enough 70-plus degree days where tanning at Mirror Lake showcases the true female potential.
Weather: D-plus. The fall in Connecticut is pretty. For about two weeks. Spring is nice too — for two weeks.

Duke

Athletics: B-plus. Coach K has made Duke the premier hoops school in the nation. But its football team once again drags down its score. Nothing new here.
Academics: A-plus. Consider that UConn’s new school president is a Duke grad.
Talent: D-plus. Kentucky has Ashley Judd. Missouri has Sheryl Crow (hot in her day). Syracuse has Vanessa Williams (smoke show in her day). UConn has April O’Neil (aka Paige Turco). Duke? Your response?
Weather: B-minus. North Carolina. Meh.

Syracuse

Athletics: C-plus. We’re coming up on the 10-year anniversary of Jim Boeheim’s lone NCAA title. Still, their fans carry themselves as if they’re Duke in hoops and LSU on the gridiron.
Academics: B-plus. This school gave us Marv Albert, Bob Costas, Mike Tirico and Sean McDonough. You have to like one of those guys if you like sports.
Talent: C. Who knows with all those clothes on all year?
Weather: F. A good place for a sequel to “The Shining.”

Florida State
Athletics:
B. This school is so ’90s it should have Zach Morris, Bell Biv DeVoe and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin heading the athletic department.
Academics: C. Ranked the No. 46 public school in US News’ rankings. That’s not great, but it’s damn good for Florida!
Talent: A-minus. Now we’re talking. FSU grabs all the Southern girls who want to have a career and want to have an ungodly amount of fun for four to seven years. Tan lines for all!
Weather: B-plus.Tallahassee ain’t South Beach. But it ain’t Buffalo either.

Michigan State
Athletics: B-plus. Painfully underrated. Tom Izzo gets his teams to the Final Four routinely and the football team at least competes in a true football conference.
Academics: B. Painfully underrated again due to rival Michigan’s brilliance in the books.
Talent: C. Too close to Detroit for comfort. That Midwest twang only goes so far.
Weather: D-plus. To think, they actually hosted a Super Bowl in Michigan? Hopefully the NFL learned its lesson.

Alabama
Athletics: A. Hate him or love him, Nick Saban wins national championships. Arguably the best football school in the world, the tailgate in Tuscaloosa is otherworldly as well.
Academics: C. That pseudosmart girl from your high school who strangely liked NASCAR and was badly in need of braces? She goes here.
Talent: B-plus. Southern belles aplenty. Plus, unlike Northeast girls, they actually understand football. No lie.
Weather: B-minus. Humid!

Murray State

Athletics: C-. Not bad for their lot in life. They routinely sneak into the Big Dance and make goons everywhere pick them because they think Bill Murray has something to do with the school.
Academics: C-minus. Not bad for Kentucky. A top-rated Southern school.
Talent: D. Their most notable alum? Ernest from the “Ernest Goes to Jail” enterprise.
Weather: B-minus. At least they’re a road trip away from the Kentucky Derby.

San Diego State
Athletics: D. Marshall Faulk, Tony Gwynn. And that’s about it. How can you not attract more athletes to San Diego? Who’s running this ship!?
Academics: D. Let’s just say SDSU won’t be confused with Princeton anytime soon. But being homeless in SD isn’t all bad, truth be told.
Talent: A-plus. There isn’t much silicone seen at, say, Wisconsin in February. In SoCal, every day’s a pool party.
Weather: A. We’ve covered this. But it does get below 60 degrees sometimes at night. Brrrr.

Final Four

At the risk of sounding like every greedy NBA star, weather matters when choosing a location to be the master of your domain.

Warm weather brings in hot girls and high quality athletes. No surprise there.

Therefore, in the Guy’s Guide pool, we have Florida State ousting Syracuse, San Diego State blasting Alabama, Duke besting UConn and Michigan State beating the surprising Racers. Your national champion? FSU parties like it’s 1997.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Brooklyn man charged in roommate's stabbing death

A Brooklyn man accused of violently stabbing his roommate to death on Monday is in police custody and faces murder charges.

International

Dinosaurs could have survived asteroid strike

It turns out there is a good and a bad time for the planet to be hit by a meteor, and dinosaurs were just unlucky.…

National

OkCupid admits to Facebook-style experimenting on customers

By Sarah McBrideSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - OkCupid, a top U.S. matchmaking website, intentionally mismatched users to test its technology, the IAC/InterActive Corp service said on…

Local

MTA fares still increasing 4 percent in newly…

The agency said the 4 percent increases, previously announced in December, will remain steady even as the MTA deals with increasing labor costs.

Movies

Interview: Brendan Gleeson on the way 'Calvary' depicts…

Brendan Gleeson talks about how his new film "Calvary" began over drinks and how his character here is the opposite of the lead in "The Guard."

Movies

'Get on Up' producer Mick Jagger on the…

Mick Jagger, a producer on the James Brown biopic "Get on Up," talks about the time had to tell the singer some bad news and his favorite JB record.

Television

'Glee' star Lea Michele to appear on 'Sons…

"Glee" star Lea Michele has been confirmed as a guest star in the final season of "Sons of Anarchy."

Television

TV watch list, Monday, July 28: 'The Bachelorette'…

See Andi Dorfman make her big choice on tonight's 'Bachelorette' finale.

MLB

Angelo Cataldi: Ryan Howard deserves better from Phillies

Just last week, Ryan Howard endured the embarrassment of a benching that was inevitable, and yet still shocking.

NFL

Larry Donnell has inside track in Giants tight…

Little-known Larry Donnell of Grambling State currently has the inside track, as the second-year player has received the bulk of the first-team reps.

NFL

Computer to Jets: Start Michael Vick over Geno…

Jets general manager John Idzik says the choice of who starts between second-year quarterback Geno Smith and veteran Michael Vick will be a “Jets decision.”

MLB

Yankees looking to trade for Josh Willingham: Report

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman reported Sunday the Yankees are interested in Twins outfielder Josh Willingham.

Travel

Glasgow: Hey, hey, the gangs aren't here

This European city has done a good job getting rid of its more violent residents and revitalizing with artists.

Education

Babson College tops list of best colleges for…

Money magazine has just released its inaugural list of "The Best Colleges for Your Money" -- and the answers have surprised many. Babson College, which…

Education

NYC teens learn how to develop apps during…

Through a program sponsored by CampInteractive, the high schoolers designed their own community-focused apps.

Tech

The Ministry of Silly Walks app is both…

Monty Python have dug into their back catalogue for cash-ins once more, but with the Ministry of Silly Walks app, they've made something that's fun too.