Playing the Field: Kazakh anthems, Tebow sandwiches

Welcome to New York, Mr. Tebow
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There are very few things that can inspire as much pride as standing on the top step of the podium and hearing your national anthem play after winning a world competition.

Unless, of course, you have to stand and listen to a song mocking your entire country.

After Maria Dmitrienko won a Gold medal in the Arab Shooting Championships, the PA system blasted the fake Kazakh anthem from Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Borat.” Let’s just say she, and the country, weren’t enthusiastic.

The anthem includes lines such as “Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader” and “Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in region.” Ya know, no big deal. How Dmitrienko managed to stand and listen is beyond me. By the way, could you have picked a worse person to mock than someone who just picked off dime-sized targets from a 100 yards away?

Let this be a lesson kids, don’t just type “Kazakh national anthem” into Google and play the first thing you find. Do some research first. Perhaps Wikipedia.

71-68 = 2, right?

Bad announcing will almost certainly become a feature of this blog. Why? Because all of us viewers are clearly better at giving play-by-play in a heated moment, on the fly, with millions of people watching. Obviously.

I majored in journalism in college. I hate math. Still, I’m quite certain my subtraction skills are advanced enough to realize 71-68 is 3. Not 2. CBS announcer Kevin Harlan, not so much. Harlan’s call of the most important possession of the game in Saturday’s Louisville-Florida game was completely bungled when he referred to both Bradley Beal’s and Kenny Boynton’s 3-point attempts as “for the win.”

That was bad enough, but just imagine if either shot had gone down.

Give me my sandwich

It has always been the dream of mine to have a sandwich after me. That seems as if it would be the ultimate in food recognition. Heck, the sandwich itself is named after John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich. (Who looks remarkably like George Washington, by the way.)

Well, now Jets “quarterback” Tim Tebow has achieved this honor. Carnegie Deli is naming one of it’s creations the “Jetbow.” Stupid names aside, the sandwich is a 3.5-pound stack of white bread, corned beef, pastrami, roast beef, American cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo. It’s supposed to be “all-American” to play off Tebow’s image. Also, to play off his image, it crumbles to pieces when you start eating, but goes down pretty good in the end.

Carmelo Anthony also got a sandwich at Carnegie Deli when he was traded to the Knicks last season. In fact, I ordered one once. Couldn’t finish it, though. I had to quit halfway through.


Follow Metro New York Sports Editor Mark Osborne on Twitter
@MetroNYSports and when Carnegie Deli is ready to name a sandwich after me, I would prefer bacon and pepperoni be involved.


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