Greg Anthony keeps reminding us that it’s not called March Monotony. Yet there has been a noticeable lack of upsets — at least in the later rounds — in the men’s NCAA tournament. It’s almost straight chalk in the Final Four. But if you think that’s bad, then check out the women’s dance. The Final Four is comprised of all No. 1 seeds: Notre Dame, UConn, Stanford, Baylor.

Which begs the question: Why should we watch this drama-free event?

And while we usually don’t advocate watching women’s hoops, this tournament has had its moments — from Brittney Griner’s two-handed assaults on the rim to Geno Auriemma’s posturing —and still has potential. For the latter, we present Skylar Diggins and Caroline Doty, otherwise known on message boards as the two hottest girls left in the Big Dance. Here is a brief introduction:

» Skylar Diggins first showed up on everyone’s radar last March when she scored 28 points and helped Notre Dame knock off consensus No. 1 UConn. That was followed by a playful Twitter courtship with rapper Lil’ Wayne, who referred to her as wife. The two were later spotted together at a WNBA game and Weezy sported a No. 4 Notre Dame jersey at a concert appearance.

The 5-foot-9 Diggins is described as “an emotional player whose energy and intensity helps fuel teammates and fans alike” on Notre Dame’s official website. But you want pictures, we know. You can follow her on Twitter @SkyDigg4

» Caroline Doty is finally healthy after missing the entire 2010-11 season due to a torn ACL, the same injury that caused her to miss her senior year of high school. Judging from her Twitter (@cdoty5), the 5-10 guard looks like she knows how to hobnob. She has pictures with Mavericks star Dirk Nowitzki and new Jets QB Tim Tebow plastered on her page. Doty has also been linked to two Division 1 athletes in recent years, including UConn QB Johnny McEntee. Name sound familiar? It should. He made the trick shot video that immediately went viral.

The twist? That video was apparently inspired by Caroline’s own video made 16 days before.

Anyway, Notre Dame plays UConn Sunday night at 6:30. Don’t be ashamed to check it out.

Calling Lindsey Vonn to the stage

Did you ever dream of Lindsey Vonn working a pole? Well, breathe easy (or rapidly). It’s happening.

No, no, the Olympic champion alpine skier isn’t working at your local strip joint, but everyone’s favorite snow bunny is reportedly dating a U.S. pole vaulter named Brad Walker. The 30-year-old Walker, a 2012 Olympic hopeful, has been seen slamoling around Vonn’s luxury trailer in Austria.

According to Walker’s website, he is shooting for 6.16 meters in the vault, or about 20 feet. Cheap joke coming … ummm, that’s what she said.

PSU: Party School University

Happy Valley sounds like such a peaceful, serene place. Well, it did before a child-sex abuse scandal rocked it like a hurricane. Now, those pesky Nittany Lions are at it again.

Penn State defensive end Jack Crawford, a prospective fourth-round pick in next month’s NFL draft, is helping sullying his alma mater’s legacy after a search warrant of his State College apartment found traces of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

Among things found inside the house: blunts, a bottle of Hurricane malt liquor, a bottle of prescription medication, a grinder, a plastic bag containing marijuana ash, a blue towel with buds and a scale. Crawford shares the party pad with current Lions receiver Devon Smith.

We won’t pretend to be narcotics police, but we have watched countless hours of The Wire, so our initial guess was the finding of a scale was proof of a larger operation. However, if you were running a drug ring at a famed party school with almost 97,000 students, you would probably be slugging back something fancier than Hurricane malt liquor, right? Those used to cost me $1.50 each.

Vick spotted at the zoo

Mike Vick really loves animals. Wait, read that sentence aloud and please don’t alert PETA.

The Eagles quarterback is on record saying that he would like to own a dog again and last year he purchased a pet parrot for his family. So it came as no surprise when our sources informed us that they had spotted Vick at the Philadelphia Zoo last Friday afternoon relaxing on the swan boats with his bride-to-be and two daughters.

Vick was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses and apparently left a dollar on the boat. Our sources couldn’t confirm if he donated the lost G-Dub to an animal rights’ activist group. Our take is he was doing some advanced scouting, possibly on a hawk that could fill-in at safety or a mountain lion to replace Casey Matthews at linebacker.