Dating, breaking up and the six words

Dating is rough, man.

The woes of being single—I clearly remember.  The last time I had a date was in the nineties, but still I can recall the unmarried ups and downs of yesteryear. With millions of eligible men living in New York City, why is it so difficult for a girl to find a boy?
 
At this moment, I have two female friends who are accepting applications. They are young, attractive, bright, and successful, yet they are dating men who live in other cities. Why can’t they meet their ultimate catch in the Big Apple? There may be a shortage of good guys in Manhattan, or they’re hiding in an outer borough.
 
I tried the long-distance thing, and it didn’t work for me. I admit it. I am too needy and controlling to be in a relationship with a different time zone, but obviously, I’m the minority. Statistics prove that more than one million couples are making it work between cities. Call it the power of the internet and social media taking over in 2012 if you like. Whatever it is, correspondence between states or countries is easier than ever before. When I was dating, email had just been born, cell phones were analog, and I paged my boyfriend who is now my husband. God I’m old.
 
There’s another factor these two lasses have in common. Neither is mad about their new beau. When I ask the questions, I get little enthusiasm. Instead, the answers are more like, “He’s okay for now” or, “I’m not super hooked yet.” Contrary to popular belief, many single women have a game plan not too different from their male counterparts. They are keeping the rental until they have test-driven enough models to find their dream car, or until the vehicle with the upgrades is in stock.
 
I suspect men with a substantial bank account are doing the same. Budget dating in New York is nearly impossible, but I would hope that chivalry is alive and well, with guys still picking up the tabs. Put away your wallets ladies. Even dinner and a movie doesn’t come cheap, especially at the price of $13.00 per ticket, so test-driving multiple models seems like a less viable option for most gentlemen. But keeping a temp gal within grasp until Ms. 34-24-34 with blond tresses enters the picture is likely.
 
Life in Gotham can be lonely, and everyone needs a plus one on occasion. Is it better to have a date with someone who isn’t your Prince Charming, than no date at all? Is it acceptable to spend time with a person who you’ll dump after a few more dates?  
 
I was the worst breaker-upper in history. If I didn’t like a boy from the get-go, I didn’t waste my time. I knew in the beginning, or so I thought. I avoided the inevitable by not dating them–the breakup. Instead, I only dated those who I was mad about, and eventually they canned me. I was an ongoing victim of broken-heart syndrome.
 
I did the big blow-off a few times. Had a date and wasn’t into the guy at all. When he called, I didn’t return it. It’s bad behavior, I know. But is it better to say it? What’s the best way to tell a boy, “I’m just not that into you?”
 
The average woman with a conscience can’t pull it off. One of my girls took the blame in a recent breakup, emailing her ex, “I have a lot going on and I can’t be a good girlfriend right now. It isn’t fair to you.” This tactic could backfire when he gives her the space he thinks she needs, leaving my friend back at square one.  
 
No one wants to hurt or be hurt. Stringing the other half along is just wrong–leaving them hope for a long-term relationship that will never happen.
 
In a city of eight million plus, breakups may be easier. With less chance of a re-encounter after a tearful goodbye, and most communication through email and text messaging, telling the truth seems less complicated.
 
Easier or not, being out there with the millions of others searching for a soul mate can’t be easy. Saying, emailing, or texting those six words,  “I’m just not that into you,” can’t be either.
 
For more city stories, follow me on Twitter, or on Tracy’s New York Life.
 



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

New York City agencies to provide healthcare, legal…

Child migrants who have recently arrived in New York City and are going through deportation hearings will now have access to services from multiple agencies,…

Local

Woman's body found floating in East River in…

A woman's body was found Tuesday morning floating in the East River near Clason Point in the Bronx. The NYPD responded to the scene shortly…

International

Hurricane Odile batters Mexico's Baja resorts, sparks looting

Hurricane Odile injured dozens of people, forced the evacuation of thousands and smashed shops open to looters in the popular tourist area of Baja, Mexico.

National

Apple iPhone 6 pre-orders hit record 4 million…

By Lehar Maan(Reuters) - Apple Inc said many customers will need to wait until next month for their new iPhones after a record 4 million…

Television

'Outlander' recap: Season 1, Episode 6: 'The Garrison…

Whipping, punching, kicking and a marriage contract. "Outlander" is not for the faint of heart this week with "The Garrison Commander."

The Word

The Word: Hey girl, it's a girl for…

It's a girl for Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, who reportedly welcomed a daughter last Friday, according to Us Weekly. The super-private couple managed to…

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, Sept. 16: 'New Girl,'…

Check out the season premiere of "New Girl," as Jess competes with Jessica Biel for a guy's attentions.

Movies

Newsflash: Corey Stoll still not a man

In director Shaun Levy's "This Is Where I Leave You," Corey Stoll stars as the oldest of four adult children (the others are played by…

NFL

Tom Coughlin says Giants 'beat themselves' against Cardinals

Head coach Tom Coughlin, who had a day to cool off and reflect, still sounded like he had a gnawing feeling in his gut.

NFL

Marty Mornhinweg accepts blame for Jets timeout fiasco

Jets fans looking for a scapegoat for Sunday’s timeout fiasco found a willing party on Monday: Marty Mornhinweg.

NFL

3 things we learned in Jets loss to…

The wheels came off for the Jets, who gave up 21 unanswered points after a brilliant first 20 minutes in a 31-24 loss at the Packers.

NFL

Victor Cruz catches case of the drops in…

The Giants dropped a tough, 25-14, decision to the undermanned Cardinals Sunday in their home opener. And drop was the operative word of the day,…

Food

Where to find SweeTango apples

Introduced in 2009, SweeTango — a hybrid of Honeycrisp and Zestar — is a sweet apple with plenty of crunch.

Style

London Fashion Week recap

London Fashion week gets in on the action with politics, heritage and summertime living.

Food

Padma Lakshmi's recipe for green mango curry

Padma Lakshmi shares her recipe for green mango curry in UNICEF's new book, "UNICHEF."

Travel

World's most hipster cities: Top 5

Travel blogger Adam Groffman tells us his picks for the Top 5 most hipster cities in the world.