The anti-Media Darlings: Sports figures with strange voices

Andre the Giant called, Andrew, he wants his voice back.

The media wants athletes and coaches to speak out more. Share an opinion or eight, drop a few F-bombs and call it a postgame press conference.

In this politically correct world, it happens less and less. Long gone are the days when beat reporters would meet up with athletes at the local tavern to down Schlitz beer until 4 a.m.. And that’s just sad.

On the flip side, whenever athletes and coaches do offer up something good in these pressers, they are likely to be blasted by the hypocritical media for running their mouths.

“Just shut up and do you’re job, you’re paid millions of dollars,” is the familiar outcry.

The 10-year anniversary of Allen Iverson’s epic “Practice” rant came and went yesterday with a decent amount of hoopla on talk radio and on SportsCenter. A.I. was one of the greats when it came to voicing his opinion with the media and regrettably, there aren’t many like him in today’s sports world.

While Jim Mora, Herm Edwards, Mike Tyson and Rick Pitino are all part of postgame press conference lure, there are dozens of others who the media should actually shy away from at all costs.

Whether it be their boring nature, annoying voices or just general incoherency, here are the anti-media darlings of the sports world:

Bill Belichick
Celebrity voice-over: Ben Stein
Mic work: His postgame press conferences are as dry as sandpaper on a camel’s tongue and he doesn’t apologize for it. And if the Patriots lose? Well, you get stuff like this:

Andrew Luck
Celebrity voice-over: Andre the Giant
Mic work: Says the right things, but after listening to his voice, we’d rather just read his boorish quotes on paper.

Brittney Griner
Celebrity voice-over: Barry White
Mic work: She dunks. She sings baritone. Is there anything Britt can’t do?

Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd
Celebrity voice-over: Samuel L. Jackson
Mic work: Delivered just an epic interview on WEEI radio in Boston last week in which he talked about how he once put crack in his ball cap while he pitched and how Wade Boggs was a huge bigot.  It was also likely his last time on radio or any other media outlet. Oh ya, and did I mention he was smoking a joint WHILE being interviewed?

Dikembe Mutombo
Celebrity voice-over: Dikembe Mutombo (The original recipe is still the best)
Mic work: Good luck transcribing this, media relations department:

College kid jumps off a roof, misses target

Ever been hammered at a pool party and felt the need to jump off a three-story roof into said pool?
Who hasn’t.
This kid apparently wasn’t a long-jumper in high school, however. An A+ for guts. An F for execution:


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